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Author Topic: A failure of common sense.  (Read 1304 times)

Qloos

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A failure of common sense.
« on: November 27, 2009, 01:14:52 am »

Nako had a mission, to free the oppressed children of the wicked dwarven fortress.  He followed the Rhyolite road, staying off to the side, he spotted the large block walls and fortifications of the massive structure.  It's gaping hole in the ground billowed black smoke and putrid fumes of death that no poor little tyke should ever endure. 

As he got closer to the drawbridge over a gaping chasm, Nako spotted a hoard of humans making off with toys by the wagon full.  Fraught with worry about the deprived youth: Nako jumped out onto the road and righteously bellowed "Halt Human Scum!"  For a moment he felt elated that he was doing something to stop the suffering, but for less than a heartbeat Nako felt nothing but terror.  The wagon driver did not stop, and his merciless cart wheel ran over Nako's skull; it fractured his skull as he screamed in agony.

His suffering would not be dealt with humanely, right behind the cart a guard spotted the withering Nako and Impaled him on the hand to hear him scream louder, then stabbed him in the other armor as he smiled wistfully.  The guards feelings of sadistic blood lust sedated, he waved for the next wagon to drive over Nako's legs.  Then came the third wagon which broke his ribs.

Despite his misery, tears and blood.  Nako choked back his self pity and thought only of the children as his fingers got caught in the wheel spokes.  A divine power must of felt pity for so pious a Goblin, and so he passed out before the lasher came and finished the job.

The moral of the story: Don't jump in front of a friggin caravan convoy when you're trying to save the children.
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silhouette

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Re: A failure of common sense.
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2009, 04:05:29 am »

... NOW i feel a bit sad for those goblin snatchers i sacrificed to armok in one of his temples...
AH WELL, i hope they landed on a giant spiders web and it sends it up looking for some more tasty goblin snacks so i can cage it.
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# PowerGoal49, SCREAM BALL, (Future): Trolls take the captives and see if they can throw them all the way over the chasm to each other.
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SCREW EVERYTHING ELSE! I WANT THIS!

darkflagrance

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  • Carry on, carry on
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Re: A failure of common sense.
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2009, 04:10:05 am »

Don't be fooled by the goblin propaganda!

The reason why stolen children are "happy to be freed" upon successful theft is not that they have been saved from the clutches of child-hating sadists who enjoy ordering unfortunate parents to pull levers linked to spikes outside the door on repeat, or designating the deconstruction of floors over magma, but because they have finally been taken out of that wretched, smelly, *xXgiant cave spider silk bagXx* the goblin threw over their heads.
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...as if nothing really matters...
   
The Legend of Tholtig Cryptbrain: 8000 dead elves and a cyclops

Tired of going decades without goblin sieges? Try The Fortress Defense Mod

uran77

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Re: A failure of common sense.
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2009, 06:48:46 am »

The children are happy to be captured by the goblins cos of the candy they give them to get them in their vans bags
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