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[Sensei]

GOODE EVENING, GENTLEMEN.
That is most certainly the correct spelling of goode.

You may have heard before of a wonderful game called TACTICUS. And it is- a marvelous game played by the world's most famous scholars, rulers, historians, generals, and pioneers since the first ancient breaths of civilization.

But what is it? How can I play? Indeedably, these questions will come in time. But it is not so simple. There are many published rule books, some aging thousands of years old. Before you can truly play, you must understand the base rules (7.1), as penned by Urist Pantsheim in 1274 (although they had existed prior to some extent):

-The objective of TACTICUS was once, primarily, to defeat your enemy (or ally with them and defeat them later. However, as easily winning strategies have become more routine and established, the goal has shifted to defeating your enemy in the most indibutably humiliating and improbable way possible. Players may judge your feats of indubitability on a one-to-ten scale, although this has no official impact.

-TACTICUS is a miniatures game. Each miniature takes up one space, usually (Volume three of TACTICUS: Miniature Care argues the benefits and detractors of resizing miniatures with a hack saw as opposed to allowing for multiple-tile units).

-TACTICUS takes place on a board of equally sized tiles. Any gentleman worth his scotch plays on a real table with real miniatures- but if you are in a hurry, you can abbreviate the board on your computer. When we do so, we will play in a [C0DE] window, and use ASCII tiles similar to those in Slaves to Toeflaw II: Gnoll Establishment (See Introduction vi, Use of Electronic Computational Apparaticii in TACTICUS, c1990)

-Participating competitors will take their turns in order of Gentlemanly Conduct. You may enter and act at will -indeed, the general with the initiative takes the advantage- but try to give other players a chance to act... unless you have a rule source that states otherwise.

-Units in the game are all accompanied by their own rules, but most can survive being wounded to various degrees and have a number of squares in which they can move in a turn over certain types of terrain, and an attacking ability.

-All actions in TACTICUS must be cited to previously published rules. There are many, many many books, treatises, scrolls, scriptures, files, slates, vinyls and fossils dedicated to discussing the rules of TACTICUS- you probably have some lying around, and you don't even know it. Once a rule has been cited, it need not be explained in full each time it is used.

-TACTICUS is a historian's game of finding rules that suit your fighting style. No proper gentleman would DARE to make up rules by citing books that don't actually exist, or any other such unsporting conduct.


We may now begin, gentlemen. Here is the FIELD OF PLAY.
There is a field, a river, and a cliff. I place an Orc on the field, and give a set of clothing under my command, as stated in Pantsheim 7.1, Chapter six, subsection four, Base Unit Posessions.

Code: [Select]

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███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,

[Duke 2.0]

 By the ringing of the feather in my cap I was alerted as to the presence of a new game of Tacticus. I remember the old days well, back when the Ludum Daring ruleset was still in the 1.15c version and the accepted 'Rules of Clothing and Lack Therof' was not yet established. The memories bring my eyes to tears. Then we tried many a time to revive this most noble game, only to fall short of our glory. A dear shame seeing as every game now requires the sacrifice of some small cute animal or several ancient priceless relics. Still, for a good game(Which could last centuries as some of the oldest Tacticus texts show) it is worth the investment. I thank you for allowing me to start this off as the first non-host player.

 

Code: [Select]

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 I place a state in the field across the river, covered in moss and webbed with cracks it is a rendition of an ancient Orc warrior know for his stoic bravery and serious purpose.

[Emperor_Jonathan]

Code: [Select]

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███████████.,.',;,.,',;~~~~.,',.,;.,'..▒▒▒
███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,

An orc wagon!

[Wimdit]

A game of Tacticus? I believe it is time to bring out the brandy.

Taking advantage of the rules present in Chapter Eight, Section Six of TACTICUS: The Expanded Compendium of Busts, Sculptures and Effigies, which state that any sufficiently damaged statue may be animated and controlled by the first player to claim it, I order the orc statue to jump in the river and conceal itself.

Code: [Select]

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[Neruz]

Tacitus! Always wanted to try this.


Recently i located, purely by accident, a book known as TACITUS: AQUATIC ANIMALS AND SODDEN STRAYS According to Chapter Seventeen, titled "Intrusions Into Our Watery Abode" i may place 3 Carp into play in an appropriate location when a Player Controlled and Animated Statue is ordered to enter a suitable body of water.

Code: [Select]

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[Grek]

Tacitus. How it haunts me. Who could ever imagine by its innocuous name that that such a trifle could ruin a man? That a kingdom could be won or lost by the vaugeries of its rules? Such a name, simple in its virtues yet beguiling all the same! It hath ruined me once, stipped me of my every honor, my love, my family and verily, even my own life! No more! This time, I play to win.

The ghost of Baron Grek von BreadSyrup accepts the challenge.

Code: [Select]

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For my first move, I place an upwards facing ramp, as per page 127 of The Complete Tacticus: Volume Seven, Edition Fourteen Point Three.

[Armok]

Tacticus? It was far to long since I played this noble game! How could I do anything but join?

Code: [Select]

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 As acodrding to the Borgly Tapestries, fifteenth cloth on the north-west wall, I play a Meditating Borgle. And as detailed on the same cloth this gives me a free Totem Pole.

[Cthulhu]

Tacticus was whispered into the ears of Urist Pantsheim by Nyarlathotep, to occupy the minds of gentlemen so they don't accomplish anything of merit.

Naturally, I am a master.

Code: [Select]


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I place a Metal Magician (Starting equipment guitar, wand, straggly hair, spiky bracers) on the board, citing page 79 of Maestros and Musicians.

[qwertyuiopas]

Qwertyuiopas, dabbling tacticus painter, has arrived to chronicle this epic game in full-colour PNG glory.

(This time, I will write a program to do most of the hard work for me, rather than MSpainting it all)

(But first:

• Must start on pizza dough
• Must write program

Expect me to make periodic images eventually.)

[Armok]

((If those are half as good as I expect them to be, that will make this thing EPIC!  ))

[ToonyMan]

There is a sound in my ear, the ear of SOUND.  IT SPEAKS THE CLEAR WHICH HOLDS MY BRROM.  I VEER THE CLIFF TO REEK MY FREAKKKK  My books old so I don't know the new rules so I DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW THEm

I place a mole in the moutain.

Code: [Select]


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 ███████████.,.'bĪ,.,',;~~~~.,',.,;.,'..▒▒▒
 ███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,
 
EDIT:

Oh, I forgot to cite my book, it's right here!
Really, it's HERE

EDIT EDIT:

Page 230#$ab:Section 2;Teletale Hindsight-Mole in the Moutain.

[qwertyuiopas]

((If those are half as good as I expect them to be, that will make this thing EPIC!  ))

(All it means is making it look like DF, similar to all those other ASCII graphics programs, except supporting all 256^4(RGB+Alpha?? Woah!) colours, and reading DF's old curses_640x300.bmp.
My old MSPaint art ones
Also, due to the magic of copy-paste from a very similar project, I had a window open in five minutes, and can import, UNCHANGED, the graphics manipulation functions from it. Until I must ,I will use screenshots to record the picture, but if I must, I will write a .bmp writer.)

[Sensei]

My Orc attacks the Borgle. While strong, orcs are not renowned for their athleticism.

Code: [Select]


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 ███████████..,,.,.'',.,.,~~~~~',.,'.,,'..,
 ██████████▲,'..,'',..'.,.~~~~..,;.,'.,;,.'
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 ███████████.,.'bĪ,.,',;~~~~.,',.,;.,'..▒▒▒
 ███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,
 
Ah, and I should add. In utilicing the 'Darkling' variant of these annals, you will find that the writings within code windows are larger and shall thus enhance your enjoyment noticeably.

[CJ1145]

Ah, jolly goode! Another rousing game of TACTICUS! I remember my last game; a loss, but an enjoyable one. Zombie Jesus has always enjoyed the Xanatos Gambit, and I have yet to find a suitable counter--until TODAY!

As published in the classic collector's volume "TACTICUS And Its Impacts Upon Modern Society" by famed master of game himself, Richard the Lionhearted, I shall begin the multi-turn "Siege of a Thousand Needles". This turn, I may place 1 human unit of my choice on the map (I place a bowman in the north-eastern corner), and each following turn for five turns I may exponentially increase my forces until the fifth turn, where I must place the Human General and four bodyguards. Risky, but terrific fun!

Code: [Select]


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 ███████████..,,.,.'',.,.,~~~~~',.,'.,,'..,
 ██████████▲,'..,'',..'.,.~~~~..,;.,'.,;,.'
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 ███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,
 

[Wimdit]

Egads! The devilfish have appeared!

Knowing that my statue will never survive leaving the water, I order it to dig a tunnel to escape. According to Pantsheim 7.1, Chapter 14, Beneath the Playing Field, such an action allows me to appear anywhere on the map in four turns, provided nothing interrupts my subterranean journey.

Code: [Select]


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 ███████████,.,';,.;'..~~~~~,.';'',..,;.'.,