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[Karik]

Well this is my first post on the forums, after much lurking, and I thought I would start it off with something funny that happened with a caravan that came in:  So feel free to post your funny caravan stories too:

So first off I have played DF for months, but never go past 3 or so years in game cause I have a syndrom:  restartism...its a debilitating disease that afflicts me oh so greatly

Anyway, I get my dwarven caravan in for the first autumn, got a nice little fort going (massive main chamber, two copper veins mined out (i think), plus a bunch of marble (which I made into a partial wall and crafts).

So I trade blah blah blah, and I notice the diplomat that came in keeps passing out every two feet and got very confused.  I hit v and then checked his wounds and got even more confused:

Missing- Left wrist (+hand+fingers obviously) and right eye.  I am tempted to name him Urist McVecna (you dnd players should get that reference).  Ya, it's not uber funny, but it made me amused enough to post this

[ein]

Let's hope he doesn't ascend to godhood.
Armok would not be pleased.

Also, welcome to the madhouse forums.
Enjoy your stay.

[Karik]

Thx for the welcome, and at least the dwarf civs knew to send a god to be a diplo...I iz srz buiznes.  Now if only I could find his hand and eye and I will be set...

[Skorpion]

Make sure you free up the guy taking the meeting. If the diplomat takes too long, he goes insane.
I had a war start that way. Second year, human diplomat shows up to greet the new outpost, spends all summer getting in, autumn meeting with the trader, and finally goes insane in winter, going stark raving bezerk in the main corridor to Outside.
The wardog chained there killed him pretty much instantly. Blood and chunks everywhere.

We sold his skull and clothing to the elves the next spring, in the hope they'd be framed.

No such luck. The humans sent a siege instead of a caravan for two years.

[Doomshifter]

Ah, I had a fun couple of caravan stories.

I had heard that wagons could run creatures over, but I had never seen it, till just recently. A kobold thief, running forward to steal some goodie from my trade depot was promptly rolled over by the human caravan that was just leaving. Both wagons crushed the little guy to death.

On that same fort, my Outpost Liaison, on the first time he had ever come to me, found the GCS roaming outside, sent it out of ambush and then got thrown by it INTO THE NEARBY MAGMA PIPE. It was awesome. I watched the whole thing.

[Sysice]

CHITTER! CHITTER! CHIIIIIIIIIIITER! *punt*

I blocked in the elf diplomat, who was very close to insanity, and the caravan. He went berserk, and killed them all. Then died from the blood loss.

[Doomshifter]

Oh, and I forgot to mention that that same human caravan I also marked everyone's underwear for dumping. Ironically, the first dwarf to go get it was nicknamed 'That's what she said'.

[A-chana]

Ah, yes, murderous wagons. I had the dwarven caravan run over a Kobold thief -- I think he survived being being run over by four to six wagons, had been awake for over half of that, and by the time the actual guards showed up, they decided he wasn't worth finishing off and let him bleed out there on the ground. I guess the liaison leaves with wagons as well (I never watched carefully), because shortly after she left, my dwarves were cleaning up after an entire massacred wolf pack. The blood was in the same pattern with the Kobold's, but with wolf lower bodies mixed in.

(I believe this contributed to what seems to be the extinction of wolves and animals in general in my area, unfortunately, but on the plus side I got loads of wolf leather then. We'll see if anything returns next year, since I got some macaque visitors not too long ago.)

None of my liaisons so far are otherwise interesting, though. No scars on them or anything. I haven't seen the elf though yet, though, although I suspect he/she might show up soon now that my fort has a mayor and such. If the diplomat doesn't have scars, I'll be sure to give him/her some once I can be sure my dwarves won't die to ranged weapons and unicorns (my military is focused on close-combat, and my two future marksdwarves could probably deal more damage using the crossbow as a melee weapon right now).

[slink]

A wagon has no attack.  The kobolds may have been killed by the draft animals, the merchants, or the guards, but the one thing that could not kill them is the wagons.   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[CREATURE:EQUIPMENT_WAGON]
   [NAME:wagon:wagons:wagon]
   [TILE:'W'][COLOR:6:0:0]
   [EQUIPMENT_WAGON][COMMON_DOMESTIC]
   [NOT_BUTCHERABLE]
   [HAS_RACEGLOSS:WOOD]
   [ITEMCORPSE:WOOD:NO_SUBTYPE:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [NOSMELLYROT]
   [BODY:WAGON]
   [SIZE:12]
   [ALL_ACTIVE]
   [NO_GENDER]
   [MATERIAL:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [trADE_CAPACITY:15000]
   [MUNDANE]

[twwolfe]

A wagon has no attack.  The kobolds may have been killed by the draft animals, the merchants, or the guards, but the one thing that could not kill them is the wagons.   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[CREATURE:EQUIPMENT_WAGON]
   [NAME:wagon:wagons:wagon]
   [TILE:'W'][COLOR:6:0:0]
   [EQUIPMENT_WAGON][COMMON_DOMESTIC]
   [NOT_BUTCHERABLE]
   [HAS_RACEGLOSS:WOOD]
   [ITEMCORPSE:WOOD:NO_SUBTYPE:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [NOSMELLYROT]
   [BODY:WAGON]
   [SIZE:12]
   [ALL_ACTIVE]
   [NO_GENDER]
   [MATERIAL:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [trADE_CAPACITY:15000]
   [MUNDANE]

true, but since the animals drag the wagon over it as they attack, it give a very convincing illusion of being run over

[Deon]

Poor wagons. It's easy to call them murderers, imprison, burn and execute them. Because they cannot talk and call a lawyer.

"Where's my golden goblet, Urist Mc'Thief?" - "A tower-cap wagon took it!" - "Oh well, it is the last time he does something bad. Deconstruct him!"

[Grendus]

A wagon has no attack.  The kobolds may have been killed by the draft animals, the merchants, or the guards, but the one thing that could not kill them is the wagons.   

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[CREATURE:EQUIPMENT_WAGON]
   [NAME:wagon:wagons:wagon]
   [TILE:'W'][COLOR:6:0:0]
   [EQUIPMENT_WAGON][COMMON_DOMESTIC]
   [NOT_BUTCHERABLE]
   [HAS_RACEGLOSS:WOOD]
   [ITEMCORPSE:WOOD:NO_SUBTYPE:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [NOSMELLYROT]
   [BODY:WAGON]
   [SIZE:12]
   [ALL_ACTIVE]
   [NO_GENDER]
   [MATERIAL:WOOD:USE_RACEGLOSS]
   [trADE_CAPACITY:15000]
   [MUNDANE]

Creatures without an attack tag use a default push attack, which does damage based on size. Since wagons have size 12, they have a pretty damn good push attack.

I'm almost positive that wagons actually do run stuff over. In particular, if you mod a pack animal that does a ridiculous amount of damage, the kobold won't instantly explode when it's run over, suggesting that it's actually being attacked by the wagon's push instead of the animal's attack.

[Karik]

Speaking of wagons...if I were to say...attack the human caravan or destroy it in some way, would that likely get them to siege me?  I have had my first ever siege and it was pretty puny.  The 15 or so goblins came in, lost about 5-8 ish, and then ran off without ever a worry.  I want to killz moar!

[Count Dorku]

I once had a trade liaison turn up missing a leg. He went crazy when he stumbled into a cage trap.

Then Orcs turned up and killed everyone.

Good times.

Speaking of wagons...if I were to say...attack the human caravan or destroy it in some way, would that likely get them to siege me?  I have had my first ever siege and it was pretty puny.  The 15 or so goblins came in, lost about 5-8 ish, and then ran off without ever a worry.  I want to killz moar!

You take out a few caravans, and yes, you do get sieges. The caravan loot increases your fort value, so you get more goblins turning up. It's Fun for the whole family.

[Argonnek]

Actually, you just have to kill the Human liaison or diplomat and they will send a siege.