This is really cool, and I appreciate how much work has been put into it, but I have to agree with Nivm. I have a vision of things being more procedural and less useful, more generalizable. Let me explain.
So, what you have here is a list of effects that do something to somebody and/or something under certain conditions. Some of the things you've listed are really vague, so I can't talk about those-- but of the effects that are specific, they can be spelled out in those three terms.
Here, consider a floodgate that generates power. What does it do? It powers things. To whom or what? To adjacent buildings. When? Maybe all of the time; maybe when it's open; maybe when it's adjacent to flow. And I didn't see anything else that generates power, although I didn't read everything (pardon me, but there's a lot there!)
But why just floodgates? Try this: an artifact chair that generates power to anything in a lighted square whenever it's sat upon. An artifact gem that generates power to everything within 10 squares whenever it's contaminated with blood. An artifact shield that generates power to anything made of obsidian whenever it blocks a weapon strike.
Do you see how many interesting, magical possibilities you leave out by trying to make everything specific? I read about two-thirds of the weapon effects, but they're not magical enough. They're like D&D weapons-- they're just in terms of, this is a useful artifact, this is not a useful artifact.
Now, I don't suggest that everything should be weighted the same, regardless of type of item. There ought to be the possibility of a floodgate that increases map wind whenever it strikes an opponent in combat, but it shouldn't be as likely as a weapon that increases map wind whenever it strikes an opponent. (See what I mean with more cool effects?) And it doesn't make any sense for a table to spawn lye every time it's slept upon by a noble, although it would be an interesting effect for a bed.
If you make everything procedural, but with weights, you end up with a bizarre range of artifacts-- all, clearly, special, magical-- but you only ever figure out what one of them does, and then you have to figure out how to use what that one artifact does. Okay, so your artifact short sword doesn't seem to hurt anybody anymore than a masterpiece short sword. Then you notice that it's not covered with blood. Why not? What's going on? You keep paying attention. Eventually, you stop using the sword as a weapon, and you drop it in your well, because you realize that every time its creator gets a happy thought, everything within ten squares of the sword is decontaminated. Wow! What a cool effect that you've managed to put to use! It's no vorpal sword-- it's way cooler than that! Now if you can just figure out what the hell that artifact toy drum does. Wonder if it's somehow responsible for the tantrum wave you're suffering?