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[Sensei]

The other games aren't abandoned, no. But they've been on delay because I've been quite sick. At this point I'm still sick- only now I'm awake enough to get bored, yet still too sick to do anything especially clever or mathematical. As a result, I now offer you a forum game which I expect- no, promise- to be entirely stupid.

You are in SOUTHERN CANADA. It is ALWAYS RAINING, and because it is winter it is FNUCKING COLD. The year is 1978. America is in the OIL CRISIS, and most of the northern states have SECEEDED. The resulting provinces are VERY LAWLESS. Many towns and travellers fall prey to wandering bands of VIKINGS or DANGEROUS WILDLIFE. There are rumors of NINJAS, but no-one has ever seen them and lived to tell the tale. Most vehicles, even civilian ones, are lightly armored and carry some mounted weaponry. Most everyone exercises their right to bear arms, whereas their right to arm bears is seldom successfully practiced.

You have just arrived at Finch's camp. Finch is the SHADY DIRIGIBLE MERCHANT. You have all, while you may go your separate ways in time, been called upon to ambush a convoy of trucks carrying helium tanks. Finch may PROVIDE OR SELL WEAPONS for the job, but he is a CHEAP BASTARD.


To join, state your:
AGE
GENDER
APPEARANCE
HISTORY (optional, may gain you logical skills)
UNUSUAL SKILL (just one or two)
It is assumed that you are reasonably athletic, a serviceable marksman and familiar with most common weapons unless stated otherwise.

You arrived at the camp in:
A) A horse (Not much good in combat, but it can handle terrain cars could never cross)
B) A Jeep with a mounted MG turret
C) A Pickup truck with hood-mounted MGs
D) A tricked out rock crawler
E) A pogo stick
Vehicles include repair kits, and you inherently have a basic idea of how to fix the vehicle you own

Your main weapon is:
A) An AK-47
B) A Sniper Rifle
C) A double-barreled shotgun
D) A Nerf rocket launcher

Your secondary weapon is:
A) A sword
B) A pistol
C) An RPG (two rockets)
D) Bear Hands, for when you need to kill fast and bullets too slow!

Your tool is:
A) A few hand grenades
B) A rock climber's kit (implied skills to use it)
C) A brick of C4 with the necessary paraphernalia
D) A knife
E) Some medical supplies
F) A 20 sided dice

You are wearing (in addition to implied barely-adequate winter clothes):
A) A light bulletproof vest
B) A warm, waterproof set of clothes
C) An extra-large backpack (choose an extra tool or weapon)
D) A pirate hat

[Phantom]

Here comes Sensei who loves to try to annoy me.

[Sensei]

Oh psh, this is just me being bored, tired and lazy. If I really wanted to annoy you, I would have made an 'arms' joke in your thread.

[Strife26]

(-1)^.5
Gender: Female
Appearance: Classic Nazi dominatrix. Full leather. Thigh boots. Black gloves, shoulder length blond hair.
History: An after affect of continued messing around with a chronosphere, i comes from a future where eternal war takes place between Nazi and Robot armies.
Unusual skill: Able to build a tomahawk reactor out of spare parts.

Arived at camp in a flash of light. The time-flux wave unfortunately dropped every living thing within 3.1 miles out of cohesion in the time-stream. Randomly, a pogo stick arrived with her. Interestingly, it's apparently some sort of pogo stick from a dark future where war is conducted via pogo. It has a double barrel mounted on it. The sides of the stick are also sharp enough to be used as a heavy claymore. She also has a light bullet proof vest, made out of C4.

[Sensei]

If I was a better artist I'd draw that right away... at that, for such a slow day, I didn't think the pogo stick would be chosen so quickly.

Finch comes out of his tent. "Oh, you're here?" he says. "I thought you guys were supposed to take a few days to drive over here. And that you were liberals... oh well." Your disruption in the time-stream means you got there just after Finch called hired his mercenaries.
"I'd better go get that convoy." You say. "I can't let the giant robot dirigible get its helium!"
"Sure, whatever- but the convoy won't be here for days!"
But you remember that it was exactly 3.12 miles away! Not that you can let Finch know... "Uh... it's getting here early!"
"What makes you so sure?"
"I have super powers." You don't have super powers, that would be ABSURD. But he believes because he's to busy LOOKING AT YOUR BOOBS to care.
"You must be right then! Here, take this map showing when the convoy will be where, you'll need that!"
You may now:
A) Bounce to vengeance aboard your pogo stick
B) Talk to/request things from Finch (state)
C) Other. Other is always an option.

[Strife26]

C) Other - Reflect on the fact that the disruption field was probably closer to 3.14 miles in radius. And wonder why Finch is still coherent.

[Sensei]

You calculate that as a result of being just on THE EDGE of the zone, the convoy will have been DELAYED from 'correct' time approximately... just need TWO OR THREE SECONDS to crunch the numbers...

TWO OR THREE SECONDS

The irony is not lost on you.

[Strife26]

Spend Two or Three seconds crunching the numbers.

[Sensei]

You just did...

[Strife26]

Ahhh. Witty. Walk in general direction of convoy, keeping aware for bear.

[Sensei]

Whaddaya mean witty? The results given in the post implied that it had happened... 2-3 seconds was both the result and expenditure...

Anyway, you walk on your pogo stick towards the convoy. You hear engines in the distance, you have a SMALL BUT CONVENIENT amount of time until they arrive.

You sense you are followed...

[Nirur Torir]

Ok. I nearly posted a few minutes after the OP, with all the joke choices and skills at attracting bullets. I have resisted the urge.

Age: 42
Gender: Male
Appearance: Looks like a wanna-be action hero.
History: He worked as a gun store owner for years. One day his psyche cracked, and he decided he would rather be a real life action movie hero.
Unusual skills: Can drink nearly any human under the table, and does not get drunk - he eventually simply falls asleep from excessive alcohol.

B - Jeep
B - Sniper Rifle
A - Sword
B - Rock Climber Kit
C - Extra Large Backpack
A - AK-47

[Sensei]

You arrive at Finch's camp, armed to the tooth. You're still 'properly' aligned with time, in effect only Finch is 'behind' and he's been brought up to speed.

"Hey, Nirur! Turns out the convoy's here early! Good thing you're early too, better hurry! Just follow the pogo tracks!"

[Strife26]

i: execute a crisp about-face. Complete with nazi-style boot stomp.

[Sensei]

You quickly turn, bring your heel down on the half-melted snow, (which, much to your displeasure, creates an unintimidating slish) to see a viking! He must be a forward scout! He's wielding an axe and clad in fur armor.