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Author Topic: Internet manners  (Read 3940 times)

LegoLord

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Internet manners
« on: November 05, 2009, 09:48:06 pm »

This has really been bothering me lately.  Some people seem to think that here, on an online forum (where we even have behavior guidelines), they can throw all or nearly all manners to the wind and just be downright rude to people.  I'm not going to name anyone.

To the point, this isn't good.  The more common it becomes, the more clique-like this place is.  Some have said that you should need to be extremely insensitive to the comments of others to deal with the internet, but I don't see why anyone should be any less sensitive than they have to be in real life.

Granted there is a limit on being sensitive in real life, but the limit shouldn't be more strict just because you're on the internet.  You can really offend people here, and it's perfectly reasonable for them to be offended at some of the things said.  I for one would be appalled if someone came in and said "your drawing sucks, you should just give up on art" just because they didn't know me.  It's the same whether such a transaction occurs over the internet or in person.

For another thing, such behavior just doesn't really contribute to any discussion.  It just makes people angry, insensitive or not, and makes them dismiss what you say.  Basically, you'd be wasting your time with such a response.
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Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
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Dasleah

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2009, 10:16:25 pm »

hey fuck you too pal

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Pokethulhu Orange: UPDATE 25
The Roguelike Development Megathread.

As well, all the posts i've seen you make are flame posts, barely if at all constructive.

Realmfighter

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2009, 10:20:13 pm »

That was, unsurprising not funny.

Case and point, no one would do that in real life, unless they were a asshole.
"Long speech on manner"
"Fuck you!"

I just realized that the majority of humanity are asshole.
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We may not be as brave as Gryffindor, as willing to get our hands dirty as Hufflepuff, or as devious as Slytherin, but there is nothing, nothing more dangerous than a little too much knowledge and a conscience that is open to debate

Dasleah

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2009, 10:42:07 pm »

That was, unsurprising not funny.

Case and point, no one would do that in real life, unless they were a asshole.
"Long speech on manner"
"Fuck you!"

I just realized that the majority of humanity are asshole.

Good sir, I insist. Borrow mine. Yours appears to be broken.

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Pokethulhu Orange: UPDATE 25
The Roguelike Development Megathread.

As well, all the posts i've seen you make are flame posts, barely if at all constructive.

Realmfighter

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2009, 10:50:43 pm »

I said it wasn't funny, i didn't say it was serious.
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We may not be as brave as Gryffindor, as willing to get our hands dirty as Hufflepuff, or as devious as Slytherin, but there is nothing, nothing more dangerous than a little too much knowledge and a conscience that is open to debate

Jackrabbit

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2009, 10:54:52 pm »

This is under control. If it seems like more people are being rude then it's because there's an increase going on, that will be followed by a decrease. I am certain people will be back to being polite in no time.

Except Dasleah. But if you don't love him yet, what the hell is wrong with you?
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Realmfighter

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2009, 10:56:05 pm »

This is under control. If it seems like more people are being rude then it's because there's an increase going on, that will be followed by a decrease. I am certain people will be back to being polite in no time.

Except Dasleah. But if you don't love him yet, what the hell is wrong with you?

Seething rage at humanity in general?
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We may not be as brave as Gryffindor, as willing to get our hands dirty as Hufflepuff, or as devious as Slytherin, but there is nothing, nothing more dangerous than a little too much knowledge and a conscience that is open to debate

Jackrabbit

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2009, 10:56:59 pm »

That's cool, we all have our problems.
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Alexhans

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2009, 11:20:54 pm »

Lego... It comes down to cowards on the internet not having to fear any consequence for their actions or words.
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Jude

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #9 on: November 05, 2009, 11:36:33 pm »

I'm not going to name anyone.
It's cool I it's me

Quote
To the point, this isn't good.  The more common it becomes, the more clique-like this place is.  Some have said that you should need to be extremely insensitive to the comments of others to deal with the internet, but I don't see why anyone should be any less sensitive than they have to be in real life.
You should have a thick skin, is what I said. That's because the reality is that people are jerks on the internet, and if you go around getting offended by everything that someone says to you online, you're setting yourself up to feel like you're being attacked constantly. That's not good for you.

The internet does weird things to people. Not seeing somebody as you're talking to them means a lot of the psychological processes that go on while interacting with someone in person don't get triggered; part of this is that it's much harder to identify with a person. As a result people tend to be much ruder in internet interactions. Maybe that's a bad thing, but it's a reality, and if you spend time interacting with strangers over the internet, you're going to encounter it. You can react in a few ways - stop using the internet, or be horribly offended by what people say to you, or just grow a thicker skin and realize that there is no reason to take offense at something that some wiener on the internet says. They don't know anything about you; why should you care what they think of you?

The exceptions, I guess, are when somebody's attacking an entire group that you belong to or sympathize with. Still, it's just an opinion. Is it going to kill you to hear it? No.

It's probably not for the best that people tend to be mannerless online, although from what I've seen, there's not that much of a correlation between the quality of a forum and how polite people are.

In some cases, a place where discussion is kept civil can be a great community, although the example I'm thinking of is bikeforums.net, where the rather noncontroversial topic of bikes is discussed. Even there, as soon as political issues get dragged in, people start to get heated.

Other times, attempts to keep things "nice" and protect people's feelings from the scorn of idiots on the internet result in all interesting discussion being banned, threads locked and any mention of something which sometimes results in controversy is off-limits.

So yeah, I'm sometimes rude online, although it tends to be in situations of either brutal honesty (and if you can't be brutally honest on the internet, where can you be?) or else if somebody's advocating human rights abuses against certain ethnic groups or something (I have two strikes of warning on this forum, both because somebody was doing that and I got pissed).

But while you can fault me for that, ultimately everyone's just responsible for themselves. And so fault me all you want, but people who take something I say personally have only themselves to blame. For all they know I'm a disgusting slob living in a basement who goes outside only to buy Star Trek porn once a week. Why should my opinion matter to them? Moreover, I know nothing about them. Plenty of my internet arguments involve somebody attacking me, especially if I'm arguing about psychology - I've heard it all, psychology's not a real science, whatever college you went to sucks, whoever wrote that book you're citing isn't a real scholar, you need to pick a different career path - and I don't care. Because the person saying those things knows nothing about me, so their evaluation of me is irrelevant to me. Everybody can benefit from taking that attitude. Save being offended for people who matter to you - if a friend or family member backstabs you or treats you like shit, that's a reason to be upset. If some jackass on the internet insults you? Move past it and laugh at them.


edit: christ I didn't realize this was such a wall of text...oh well, I'm too tired to edit it and it's the internet after all
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Realmfighter

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #10 on: November 05, 2009, 11:42:01 pm »

*Stands up*


*Clap*

*Clap*

*Clap*

(I applaud thine)
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We may not be as brave as Gryffindor, as willing to get our hands dirty as Hufflepuff, or as devious as Slytherin, but there is nothing, nothing more dangerous than a little too much knowledge and a conscience that is open to debate

sonerohi

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #11 on: November 05, 2009, 11:46:49 pm »


 For all they know I'm a disgusting slob living in a basement who goes outside only to buy Star Trek porn once a week.

I barely managed to read past this due to nose-soda.
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Kagus

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #12 on: November 06, 2009, 01:26:23 am »

I always try to remain civil when interacting with people over the net.  I'm well aware that it's quite different from speaking with someone face-to-face (the disturbingly large number of confusions over implied sarcasm are standing proof of this), but that doesn't mean I can't attempt to respect their feelings.

Yes, the internet is a cold, hard place.  Yes, electronic communications have an innate disconnection between the various parties.  Yes, it's full to the brim with rampaging idiots and bastards and trolls, so it's a good idea to build up a thick skin and not let it affect you.

But that doesn't mean you can just throw civility to the wind without consequence.


When someone is rude to me or just acting like an unsavory individual, I generally do not let it upset me, no.  However, I will regard that person as an inconsiderate brat and think much less highly of them, to the point of generally disregarding their opinions.  Needless to say, this doesn't help communications.

If you act like a prick, I will treat you accordingly.  If you act with some semblance of respect for the people you are talking with, I will respect you in return, even if I disagree with what it is you're saying.

Having been on the net for as long as I have (honestly doesn't take that long), I have naturally been subjected to all manner of people acting with total insensitivity to both individuals and groups whenever they communicate.

I do not respect these people, I do not respect their opinions, and I ignore them entirely whenever reasonable to do so.


So, it's a choice.  You can try to respect the people you're talking to and have them listen to what you're saying, or you can be a complete prat and just be filtered out.  That is my personal philosophy, and I try to stand by it when I can.  My personal philosophies tend to contrast those of several other people on the net, but I respect my principles very highly, and would rather stand by them than find a way of fitting in with the crowd (with reduced effort on my part, even).

And besides...  I think the main reason I actually stayed on the DF forum was because people DIDN'T insult everyone they talked to.  'Least not back then.


In case anyone was wondering, yes I have indeed been studying at the Shaolin Temple of Passive-Aggressive-Fu.  Unlike some people.

Neruz

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #13 on: November 06, 2009, 01:53:41 am »

People tend to drop much of their manners on the Internet due to the faceless nature of it; there's no real repercussions or way to punish someone for being a dick. If somone comes up to me and screams profanities at me in real life i punch him in the face, if someone does that to me on the Internet i, what? Write a scathing letter?

Tack

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Re: Internet manners
« Reply #14 on: November 06, 2009, 02:52:31 am »

Neruz, dude, If i met you in person I would want to spend the better part of a few hours having a scathing argument on no subject in particular with you.

Some people just crave that kind of angry stuff, and can't do it normally.

Or, others (like me) are that rude in person, so it doesn't change anything when they go on the internet.
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.
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