Most of the remainder of the day passed uneventfully. Well, we did break open a case of Redshirt 1's rum and party in the Valkyrie (Unprofessional, maybe, but good for morale). About ten minutes before midnight, warning sirens went off.
Operator: "UFOs detected."
Being a good commander, I functon well under pressure, even while drunk. "Launch the fighter jets! All of 'em! We'll head to the hospital and hold them off there."
Operator: "..."
I suspect he woke the scientists and ordered them to the vehicle control center.
I've pieced together the battle from security camera footage. Five UFOs total came out of portals in three different areas of the city. The four hoverbikes were sent to one set of two, the Valkyrie (We were still inside, drinking. It was a very fun ride.) went after two others, and the two hovercars went after the last.
The Valkyrie succeeded in downing both, getting only lightly damaged in the process. In retrospect, the programming allowing a remote user to shut down the Valkyrie's internal controls until a six digit password is entered was a very wise choice.
Nirur Torir: "Operator! Land us! We'll capture it!"
Operator: "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
Nirur Torir: "That's an order!"
Operator: "Understood, sir."
Unfortunately, there were no aliens inside, and the weapons systems had been destroyed. We recovered it, but the scientsts don't think they'll be able to learn much from it.
I don't even want to know.
Thankfully, the hoverbikes arrived and chased it off.
One of the hoverbikes was damaged by the UFO's escort while it was chasing its primary target. The hoverbikes then
turned to face the escort.
They blew it up, manging to down their inital target before it could flee.
The hoverbikes failed to reach their UFO before it did .. whatever they were doing and escaped. Still good overall, considering I was drunk at the time.
We returned to base.
Nirur Torir: "Hey, let's go see what the UFO did to that building!"
Bug: "Yea!"
Operator: "Sir, I think that's a bad idea in your present condition. I insist that you want until tomorrow."
Nirur Torir: "Spoilsport. Bah, fine, we'll wait until tomorrow."
Nirur Torir: "Hey, it's tomorrow! Everybody, to the APC!" Tomorrow starts at midnight, which is exactly when those night owls at the Senate Administratory Commission send out their reports.
As most of us stumbled into the APC (Bug had fallen asleep. Dynamitri was locked in solitary, pending for a psych eval), we found an android inside.
Jimmybob X-1: "Howdy, y'all. Name's Jimmybob X-1. I'm here to guard John."
This was highly suspicious, and probably a planted mole. I could probably have handled my counter-intelligence attempt better.
Nirur Torir: "Yo!"
After a few brief introductions and some smalltalk about cows, we arrived.
Nirur Torir: "The androids make great explosions!"
I warned everybody to watch their fire in the crowded factory full of explosive things.
For once, my squad was the first to make contact.
Well, actually, it was Aqizzar. A drunken man carrying two guns that cannot reasonably be fired one handed, filled with explosive shells is an awesome sight to behold.
He hit what he was aiming for though.
Aqizzar: "Still standing. Nirur, get over here and shoot those purple worm-things."
But when I was in position, they had already started bothering the rest of my squad. My hero asked me to do something, and ... I failed him. Please hold while I drown my sorrows in the last of of Redshirt 1's rum.
Bah, somebody else drank it before me. Anyway, I think the rest of my squad killed them.
Aqizzar successfully killed the strange purple alien while I was still aiming.
Jimmybob X-1: "Woo-hoo! Targets!"
John: "Cease fire! A civilian walked into the line of fire!"
Nirur Torir: "What's that? Nah, keep firing. The managers don't care if we kill civilians."
John: "That's barbaric!"
Nirur Torir: "Them or us. That's an order."
Jimmybob X-1: "Die, foolish fleshbag!"
John: "Jimmybob!"
Jimmybob X-1: "I missed. The flashbag ran off and I shot the alien instead."
I think we need to check that thing's programming.
Jimmybob X-1: "Got one. Easier then a turkey shoot! Ha. Ha. Ha."
John: "Jimmybob, you are ordered to not aim at humans."
Jimmybob X-1: "Command processing"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Program conflict detected. Command denied."
John: "I order you to override the program conflict."
Jimmybob X-1: "As John wishes. Program deleted."
John: "Good, now I order you to not aim at humans."
Jimmybob X-1: "YESSIR! Sir, I have a confession to make!"
John: "Save it. We have civilians to rescue."
I'm glad they get along so well. I wish I had a pet robot.
Redshirt 3: "Ow! Some sort of yummy-looking purple worm thing is eating me!"
Redshirt 2: "Aw, it's so cute. Can we keep it, commander?"
Nirur Torir: "Shoot it! Just shoot it! You are ordered to shoot it!"
Redshirt 3: "I'll stab it with my stun grenade! Ahh! Noo, I dropped it! I feel ... zzz."
Nirur Torir: "Good thinking. Hey, operator, is the APC prepped for alien transport yet?"
Operator: "No, sir."
Nirur Torir: "Lame. Remind me to fire at the scientists when I'm over my hangover tomorrow. Maybe the engineers too."
Operator:
"...Six more months and I can retire. Six more months..."Redshirt 3 is either a genius, or really stupid. I mean, really, priming a grenade and dropping it by accident? Hey, wait, the operator never did remind me to shoot the scientists. I'll continue writing this in a few minutes.
Ah, satisfaction. All I could find was an old tazer though, I think somebody took my lawpistol.
Crazy Mutant Lady: "I have successfully managed to probe one of the worms. They have a really low intelligence, and seem to act purely on instinct and hunger."
Jimmybob X-1: "Oh Suzana, oh don't you cry for me ..."
Nirur Torir: "John?"
John: "He's been doing that since I yelled at him. He's not responding to commands to be quiet." We've really got to get somebody to look at the programming on that android. I suspect it's been attacked by a virus. Probably several, actually.
Nirur Torir: "Hey, I got one. Leave it to me, I want a kill."
Nirur Torir: "It gave me a present. I wonder what's in it. I'll just stick it in my backpack until I'm done shooting the alien." It could have been a grenade. I really shouldn't drink before missions anymore.
Nirur Torir: "Killed it. Anyone see any more?"
Spartan 117: "I think I found some alien eggs."
Nirur Torir: "I wonder if they'd make a good omelet." They didn't.
Operator: "APC scans report no xenomorphs remaining in that building. I advise moving one to the west."
Nirur Torir: "Boo-ya! Mission accomplished, back to the APC!"
Spartan 117: "Woo! Drinks are on Redshirt 1!"
So, we returned to the APC. About halfway back to base we realized we'd forgotten the redshirts, and the operator made us turn back. I think the object fell out of my backpack at some point while we were recovering the redshirts.
All-in-all, it was a great way to spend an evening.
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