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Author Topic: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time  (Read 74768 times)

kalida99

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #360 on: March 07, 2010, 03:07:07 am »

Sort of, excommunication lets you call in super joint strikes/wars with a faction of your choosing, and inquisitors act as super assassins without diplomacy loss. BUT, you can't just excommunicate anyone at will, they have to attack you, and they won't be automatically reconciled you have to do that yourself which works as excellent diplomatic leeway, and I've been playing for 60 turns and only got 1 inquisitor which killed 6 imams and 2 of Egypt's generals then proceeded to vanish  :'(.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #361 on: March 07, 2010, 03:09:13 am »

That inquisitor is just lazy. Why is he accusing people who openly follow another religion of not being Christian enough?. Inquisitors only ever accuse Catholics of being heretics, right? That's all they do. I could understand if you'd conquered the place but I going after Muslims for not being Catholic, that shit won't stand with the Middle Eastern crowd.
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kalida99

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #362 on: March 07, 2010, 03:16:35 am »

I imagine it happened similar to something along these lines

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Let's see how those degenerate sophisticates handle a healthy dose of pure unreasoning violence.
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Aqizzar

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #363 on: March 07, 2010, 03:18:30 am »

I just had this image of a Knight in full plate wearing the Pope hat.

I've done my best to find any mention of a Pope actually going into battle, and the best I could come up with is Pope Julius II, the Warrior Pope, but I don't think he ever actually went out with mount and blade to chop bitches' heads off.  Or at least there's no picture of him in armor.  Of course, my best effort was one minute Googling, so I'm sure there's at least one Pope who personally got his medieval on.

Goddammit, why is there no way to dismiss Agents?  Look Diplomat with zero ability score and Merchant who started off so crooked you're negatively effective, I need those agent slots open for people who are actually competent, and nobody wants to bribe you.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #364 on: March 07, 2010, 03:20:15 am »

I sort of imagined it like this:

Inquisitor: DO YOU SERVE GOD AND JESUS?
Muslim: Uh. No?
Inquisitor: AHA! YOU ARE A HERETIC! YOU WILL BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!
Muslim: Piss off.

The inquisitor is then bashed over the head and his body burned, because he tried to convict a person of heresy in a country where he had no jurisdiction and the entire local population had no qualms about murdering his stupid ass.
Or he poked the dude with pillows, I don't know.
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Neruz

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #365 on: March 07, 2010, 03:59:03 am »

Inquisitor: DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE ONE TRUE GOD?
Muslim: Yes.
Inquisitor: What. But you're a heretic.
Muslim: Also yes.
Inquisitor: But how can you be a heretic and believe in the true god at the same time?
Muslim: From my point of view, you're the heretic.
Inquisitor: *Brainsplosion*

Jackrabbit

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #366 on: March 07, 2010, 04:10:11 am »

Of course, since - being inquisitors - they are impervious to logic and therefore paradoxes, the brainsplosion came from his head being caved in by a large rock.
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Neruz

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #367 on: March 07, 2010, 04:14:42 am »

That is entirely possible, given the location.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #368 on: March 07, 2010, 04:23:23 am »

Precisely. Inquisitoring in a Muslim land is a bad idea.
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dogstile

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #369 on: March 07, 2010, 08:13:54 am »

Inquisitor: YOU! BASHID AL RAIMID! I ACCUSE YOU OF HERESY! YOU WILL BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!

Muslim: Cool story bro

Inquisitor: O_o

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Cthulhu

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #370 on: March 07, 2010, 08:33:25 am »

Inquisitor: YOU! BASHID AL RAIMID! I ACCUSE YOU OF HERESY! YOU WILL BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!

Muslim: Cool story bro

Inquisitor: *Burns him at the stake anyway, just not publicly*


Don't mess with the inquisition
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dogstile

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #371 on: March 07, 2010, 08:41:30 am »

Inquisitor: YOU! BASHID AL RAIMID! I ACCUSE YOU OF HERESY! YOU WILL BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!

Muslim: Cool story bro

Inquisitor: *Burns him at the stake anyway, just not publicly*

*Inquisitor gets beheaded for being an infidel*


Don't mess with the inquisition

Don't mess with middle eastern guards.

INFIDEL! DIE!
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my champion is now holding his artifact crossbow by his upper left leg and still shooting with is just fine despite having no hands.
What? He's firing from the hip.

Apple Master

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #372 on: March 07, 2010, 09:22:04 am »

Incendiary Pigs <3
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Neruz

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #373 on: March 07, 2010, 09:33:21 am »

Inquisitor: YOU! BASHID AL RAIMID! I ACCUSE YOU OF HERESY! YOU WILL BE BURNED AT THE STAKE!

Muslim: Cool story bro

Inquisitor: *Burns him at the stake anyway, just not publicly*

*Inquisitor gets beheaded for being an infidel*


Don't mess with the inquisition

Don't mess with middle eastern guards.

INFIDEL! DIE!

Gotta watch out for those Altair's too.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Medieval II, Total War in general, discussion time
« Reply #374 on: March 07, 2010, 06:39:42 pm »

Yeah, they'll talk you to death after you died.

Anyway, downloaded Empire demo. My God naval battles are a lot of fun. Age-old tactics just work. Form into a line, curve around your enemy, and then split into two ship wrecking crews. There's nothing better than seeing a heavily damaged French ship come after your ship, which is even worse, only for them to sink after turning too sharply. And then devastating the sinking ship with a raking broadside of anti-infantry shot, killing those jumping from their sinking vessel.

I'm an asshole.
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