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[Huesoo]

Poland is gone! Ruskies killed the last of them! I got raped by the hungarians thought, because I was fighting off milan they got the best of me. Full fledged jihad thing, sent all their generals at me at one time claimed 2 regions. I then became a vassal so I could focus tottaly on Milan, I just killed their Duke and another family member. I also got Venice!

[Farce]

(hope you like wall o' texts!)

I only recently was able to play the Total War games.  Rome, Empire, and Medieval II, which I just remembered I had in my steam account last night.

But, I'm a pretty non-aggressive guy.  :\  Apparently me playing this game is doing it wrong?


Anyway, I tried Medieval II just last night.  I played a couple custom battles, mostly taking the Timurids (I have no clue who they are apart from their Muslim/Eastern voice clips and stuff, because I am bad at history) and loading up on craptons of rocket launchers, because rocket launchers are awesome.  I usually pitted them against waves and waves of Scotland's super-peasants, whatever they're called.  But, due to also being bad at command and maneuvering, I only ever got one good volley off out of all the multiple attempts I mad, and that one focused on on section of the huuuge horde advancing on me.  And then I'd fired way too late, so all my forces were immediately overwhelmed.

I also kept shooting them into the ground right in front of me on a village siege map.  That was really annoying.

Anyway, after that I started up a campaign.  I'm England, because I dig bows and they have huge bows.  Took York and some French rebel town, but it hasn't really gone anywhere yet, I'm probably under turn 20, maybe even 10.

Also the game lags on mediumish settings, so that's kinda off-putting.


Empire is pretty much unplayable on this computer, and unitsmy units seemed to love ignoring my orders, so meh.


Rome was more enjoyable, as it ran very well.  Played a little of regular Rome, then I started playing the Barbarian expansion, and had a lot more fun as... uhh, Alemanni or something.

On campaign mode (easy difficulty), my Heir got caught with his default units (a peasant and spearmen, I think, slightly depleted from getting caught by a small army) because I didn't realize they wouldn't be able to enter a city under siege.  But yeah, my capital was under siege, and I sent them to support.  My King sallied out, but the Heir wasn't on the field, so I didn't want to risk open battle.

(digression, I then learned how retarded the AI is.  They keep running to a section at a corner of the city walls, just out of range from archers on the walls.  Except for the front or so ranks.  So, I depleted their army by getting my archers there and plinking away at them until I ran out of arrows for the turn, and later broke them after they were properly weakened.  They neither moved out of range nor responded in any form.)

Anyway, my Heir was outside the walls, no significant move left, and West Rome had a significantly larger army outside right next to him, with more on the way.  He was attacked, but was able to retreat a tile or so.  Only some of the army was able to follow for some reason, I think, but he was facing like 600 guys, with only 280 troops.

(I actually just found a recounting of this I had somewhere - I had my founder's 40 heavy horse, 120 spearmen, 67 hounds, and peasants.)

I sicced my dogs at some unit early in the battle, but due to being NEW AT ROME I didn't realize they wouldn't come back - thought maybe the handlers held 'em or something.  But yeah, I'm one unit down already.

But somehow I pulled through and ROUTED THEM.  Even if it was on Easy, it was still a pretty hard fight - of the 280 I started with, only 83 were left at the end.  The enemy deployed 607 men, and left with... 37.  My Heir killed most of them, at 436. Second was the spearmen, 88, then the peasants at 21, and the dogs killed 11.  Heir leveled three times from that, and I got a "famous battle" mark at the spot.

IIRC, I had a hill at my back, but instead of making them march up it I sorta just charged.  Later on I had to retreat up it, though.  My heir spent a good deal of the whole thing charging stuff from behind, and by the end I was still running him ragged - already exhausted, but charging all over the hill taking out weakened units and javelin men.  I still had my spearmen at the time, who were tying up troops so I could charge them non-suicidally, though IIRC they broke soon after.

It was pretty awesome.


Later on, after my founder died, I sent said Heir down from whatever Northern city I had him governing, down to the capital.  Alone.  WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

I thought I was on friendly terms with my Frank neighbors, but apparently not, as they sent a small unit out to attack him when he ended his turn in their territory.  As I recall, it was Paladins, woodsmen/hunters/whatever-some-kind-of-archer-unit, and an infantry unit of axemen or something, some 60 or 80 strong IIRC.

The attack came in a forested area - I started in a clearing, while down the road, surrounded on both sides by trees, they came.  When they got closer, I charged their archers, who weren't blocked for whatever reason.  The axemen were off to the side, but the Paladins were marching right in the middle of the archers.  I manage to exterminate the archers, but the axemen were very close and coming up from behind, so I ran my Heir down the road they came, stopping to engage the pursuing Paladins once we could fight without threat from the axes, and moving further when they got too close.  Eventually I rout the Paladins, too, but now I'm weakened and they still outnumber me hard, and have axes, which would probably tear through my armor.

So I run past them and make them exhaust themselves chasing me.  By the end they're exhausted, but my guys are just tired.  I let them get too close to get a proper charge going, but they still broke almost instantly.

I'm pretty sure I got another famous battle mark for that.  :awesome:




Also, Spartan:  Total Warrior, on Gamecube, was fun.  Hard as hell, though, and that part at the end where my homie gets [spoilers]zombified[/spoilers] was pretty bad times.  I had absolutely no clue how to change weapons until like the last level or something stupid like that, too, derp.  It totally didn't say anything about it in the manual.

[Heron TSG]

I'm playing as Scotland now and have basically the same amount of land that Jack has in the OP, plus a tenuous hold on Russia after an incredibly bloody duel with the Polish (who substituted for Jack's Timurids).

One of the few remaining European countries is Sicily. Not because they're strong, but because I use them as battle practice. A full-fledged army of scotsmen has defended against over a dozen equally-matched Sicilian armies, using a tactic that I borrowed from my time playing as the Saxons in some mod. (I call it the Saxtagon)

Basically, I start on the highest ground available, and pack as many archer battalions as I can into a tiny area, surrounding them with six walls of pikemen. Outside of that are six loosely-packed heavy infantry battalions to absorb any charges while the Pikewalls stab everyone to death. When available, I try and set archer stakes at various points outside the Pikewall. Outside are two units of heavy cavalry and two of light cavalry to take out siege equipment and archers. (The one weakness of the multi-unit Schiltromm I devised.) It's been tested to withstand over 30,000 APPB.*

(Aztec Peasants Per Battle, allowed by adjusting the # of troops in the Aztec Peasant unit)

[umiman]

Not to insult your strategy, but you can defeat 30,000 Aztec peasants with a blind, one-handed gnome.

[kalida99]

For those of you who do not have it yet and have the Kingdoms expansion, get the custom campaign mod 2 (or the first one if you don't have Kingdoms). Basically it changes some of the factions units (England now has Armored Sergeants for 1), adds New World units for Western European factions and reduces the upkeep A SHITON (reduces by half or more for all units) which allows for larger armies and a more manageable defense budget. Also adds a few more factions (Rebels and Papacy [yay pope time]) and new Custom Campaigns where you can play as the Timurids and Mongols. And last but not least NEW UNIT MODELS, the king and generals body guard have new sprites in and out of battle (and maybe other units I don't know )

And for those of you who didn't see my LOTR mod thread with ridiculous prisoner counts (the number in parenthesis)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

GO ENGLAND!

[dogstile]

I prefer fighting with the orcs. It seems more awesome swarming and killing them and I feel like I don't have to worry about shooting my own troops.

[Akigagak]

Playing as Denmark in Med 2 is great for shits and giggles, particularly if you like repeatedly slaughtering the HRE and Poland as they try and cross bridges. What's also fun is bum-rushing York at the start of the game.  Act fast and you can get your general there, recruit mercs, then lay siege, all within 2-3 turns. Which is often before England or Scotland get their act together.

Oh, and: HURSCUUURRRRLLLLSSS!!! WOO!

[Jackrabbit]

Not to insult your strategy, but you can defeat 30,000 Aztec peasants with a blind, one-handed gnome.

If you've got one group of knights, you can take on anything up to 1-5 odds, with any Aztec army at all on open ground. I love my knights.

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

I could never really play the LoTR mods for either M2 or Rome.  Both of them started you with tons of units, thus tons of upkeep, and nowhere near enough income.  You would wind up in debt in a few turns.

[Jackrabbit]

I could never really play the LoTR mods for either M2 or Rome.  Both of them started you with tons of units, thus tons of upkeep, and nowhere near enough income.  You would wind up in debt in a few turns.

I know precisely what you mean. You spend the first turn meticulously managing your coffers if you want to get anywhere.

I managed it, but only because I'm anal enough to keep right on trying.

[Morsigil]

Anyway, I tried Medieval II just last night.  I played a couple custom battles, mostly taking the Timurids (I have no clue who they are apart from their Muslim/Eastern voice clips and stuff, because I am bad at history)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timurid_dynasty

[Aqizzar]

I could never really play the LoTR mods for either M2 or Rome.  Both of them started you with tons of units, thus tons of upkeep, and nowhere near enough income.  You would wind up in debt in a few turns.

I know precisely what you mean. You spend the first turn meticulously managing your coffers if you want to get anywhere.

Not to mention a bunch of the starting cities (like the Dale cities for instance), even on Low taxation start off with negative population growth.  What the fuck is that.

Spoiler: What I'm up to in the proper stock game. (click to show/hide)

Playing the Venice campaign, 28 turns in (I swear that's supposed to translate to half-years, but apparently the royal family lives in crazy 5:1 Groundhog Day time).  Doge Dominico, 61 years old and the paragon of all Machiavelli's worst virtues, led an army to battle for the final time before dieing in his sleep.  At his sides were every male heir to the empire west of the Ionian Sea.  His three fighting age grandsons: Antonio the Prince, his only competent offspring left alive; Benasuto the Rathful and Gerardo the Brutish, sons of the elder Bartelomeo who died when they were toddlers; and their two adopted brothers in arms, Tomaso de Concordia and Carmelengo the Prelate, the only surviving bodyguards of Antonio's father Cristiano at the epic Battle of Tunis.

Yes, I managed to arrange a battle with six generals - the quiet Prince Antonio, his two valiant friends and two vicious cousins, all in their early 20s, led by their inhumanly frightening grandfather; riding at the head of three combined armies to finally slay the hated Count Bernardo and the Milanese once and for all, so the great Doge could finally die in peace.  I can just picture them singing Dragonforce lyrics as they ride into the fray.

Thankfully, the heirship of the empire passed from Cristiano to his son, instead of his worthless younger brother Alessandro the Faggot.  Or Alessandro the Crusader as he's now known, after an aimless career that eventually led to the conquest of Jerusalem, by shear dink of luck and blood.  And then there's the diligent if uninteresting adopted General Saraceno, finally rescued from obscurity to stave off the entire Balkan Peninsula by himself.

Milan is finally under my heel, but now the Pope is pissed at me again, and demands I not attack the Holy Roman Empire.  Who prepare to besiege Venice itself, the inevitable conclusion of an unholy alliance building since day one.  The Milanese allied with the Imperials, who allied with the Hungarians, who allied with the Byzantines, and then they all allied with each other.  And declared war on me, a Sword of Damocles hanging over my whole Mediterranean empire waiting for any sign of weakness.  And of course I not so accidentally wound up at war with the Sicilians and Egyptians, but they hate the Eastern Alliance too.  My efforts to build a competing Western Alliance with France, Denmark, Spain, and the Moors (who somehow set aside their differences and already allied) have proven frustrating.  Only France has signed on, and true to form have done fuck all since.

So I'm under siege by an empire I can't make war with without being excommunicated outright, my eastern holdings are already being crushed between the Hungarian hammer and Byzantine anvil, a disloyal fruitcake is pissing everyone off building a new kingdom in the Holy Land, I'm fighting a three front naval war against everyone with a navy, and the autocratic mastermind holding this rambling fiefdom together finally croaked.  I see dark days ahead for Venice.

Reposted from elsewhere.  I haven't touched the game much since, but it's been pretty righteous.

[Jackrabbit]

Sounds like you've got several dozen last stands ahead of you.

That's the best damn part of the game man, gogogo.

[Aqizzar]

Normally, Bodyguard units are glass cannons.  Sure, they're fantastic heavy cavalry, and useful for beating up peasants, but without significant support they drop like flies because of their small numbers.

Not when you have six of them though.  You should see the hole 150 Bodyguard Knights can tear through an army.

Yet another problem I have with that Lord of the Rings mod, is that after I installed it, in the stock game all units are built with twice the manpower they used to have.  Infantry were 75 men, now they're 150, and so forth.  Apparently the LotR mod guys wanted big movie-style armies so damn bad they had break the engine to get them.  The problem is, it bleeds beyond the mod into my ongoing stock campaigns, and now I've got these armies with 75 man and 150 man units with the same upkeep costs.  The good part is that the AI is equally ripped off but isn't smart enough to notice.  Even so, that's some retarded mod-dickery, and I wish I'd been warned.

Actually, my biggest problem with the LotR mod is that the install files alone take up 3 gigs, and the mod itself like 4.  On top of the stock game taking up 12 gigs and another 1.5 for each expansion.  Where the fuck is all that space going?  This is one of the chunkiest, most hardware straining games I've ever installed and it doesn't look any more complicated for it than Warzome 2100.

[Gunner-Chan]

Usually when it's that much space it's a lot of uncompressed texture and sound files. At least from what I've seen.