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[slink]

I was checking through my 7 founding Dwarves (5 male, 2 female), trying to see if there was any hope for the 3 bachelors ever getting married.  I found that my carpenter has only one female friend among the immigrants.  When I went to check her relationships, she doesn't even know him.  How is this possible?   

[**((pig tail sock))**]

Dwarves are kind of like people in the way that they only really form relationships when they see each other a lot. My fisherdwarves always hook up because they spend almost every minute in the exact same 1X1 fishing zone. Although it does seem like in a community of seven everyone would know each other pretty well...

[Cruxador]

slink, He considers her to be his only friend. She doesn't even know who he is. Depressing as hell, but it happens in real life too. Try putting them together, and maybe she'll get to know him a bit better.

[slink]

I guess I wasn't very clear.  The immigrant is not from the original 7.  There are 126 total.  I am just puzzled that he knows her well enough to call her "friend", while she apparently doesn't know him at all. 

Actually, now she is off his list also.  Very odd.  Sadly, that was the only unattached female he knew better than Passing Acquiantance.

Maybe I can try that, Cruxador.

[martinuzz]

I think the question the OP asks is:
'How is it possible that dwarf A lists dwarf B as a friend, but dwarf B does not list dwarf A as a friend?'

Checking through my dwarf lists, I see no such asymmetric relations. But that does not say much, since my fort's dwarves have chilled out with each other too long, in too cramped a space. Almost everybody's friends.

I don't think that what you describe is abnormal though. There are, after all, personality treats for dwarves like '..is quick to make friends', '..does not actively seek friendship and is incredibly distant and reserved', '..is slow to trust others', etc.

So it makes sense that, if dwarf A makes friends quickly, while dwarf B does not, dwarf A could list dwarf B as a friend, while dwarf B might only see him as a passing acquaintance.

EDIT:ninja'd by OP
Hmm. That's strange. I've never heard of a friendships being broken once formed. Except maybe by a grudge forming (grudges have a slightly bigger chance of forming if your dwarves are unhappy enough, if what I've read is right).
Are you sure that you checked the right dwarf the first time? If you jump to a dwarf using (u)>>(c), always make sure that the right dwarf is selected. There could be more than one dwarf in the tile you jump to.

[slink]

I was using the u=>v=>r=>v links, but I suppose I may have gotten lost somewhere along the line.  I did check it a couple of times, though, back and forth ... friend, not listed, friend, not listed, etc.

But when I closed it all out and went back to check a few minutes later, that person was not on the list.

Maybe he is exceptionally fast to make friends, and she is exceptionally slow, so that in virtually no time she was a friend in his eyes while she hadn't even caught his name?  Then when it did not continue further, her name was dropped from his list?

Either I made a mistake (possible) or the I caught the program in some intermediate state that vanished when the situation was resolved.

[Lord Dakoth]

If this is the case, I wonder if it could go farther than that... he considers her to be his lover, but she wants to be "just friends."

I really hope that Toady will consider shining a little bit of light in the near future on how dwarves' relationships work. We all know the basics, but I would love to know some of the particulars (as I'm sure we all would.)