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[Splint]

Moral of the story: Anything can become a flying death brick with enough force put behind it.

[omg_scout]

I can't say that's true; the sock could easily be rolled into a ball-like shape (using the elastic of the ankle to hold it in place) and dampened, thus granting enough density to effectively mitigate the effects of drag. The additional mass from the dampness would also assist in decapitation.

Although I generally agree with you, this is not necessary a doable task. Imagine, in one game tick dwarf needs not only to take of his sock and roll it, but also unzip his pants and piss on it, not mentioning throwing it accurately with great velocity. Now do it all in steel high boots and greaves! Guess this is where "Grandmaster Armour User" comes handy.

[HavingPhun]

I usually die early but one time I beheaded 4 enemies in a row. Then I was smacked in the back and beaten to death... 

[Aerie]

Although I generally agree with you, this is not necessary a doable task. Imagine, in one game tick dwarf needs not only to take of his sock and roll it, but also unzip his pants and piss on it, not mentioning throwing it accurately with great velocity. Now do it all in steel high boots and greaves! Guess this is where "Grandmaster Armour User" comes handy.

Your theory has merit, but is ultimately fruitless. It's only a matter of carrying additional socks with you, and urine is not necessary to wet a sock (though it does make for a psychologically striking effect.)

[KingofstarrySkies]

I was playing the dragon ball Z mod, and I had a group of saiyan warriors with me. After finding a tower that I had been previously at ((I almost died there)), I wanted pay back. So, In a mighty march of glory, we slaughterd hundreds of zombies, being led by namekian necromancers. only one of the saiyans besides me survived. His name was krillin.
At one point, one soldier, named nappa, died, and fell on the namekian who had almost killed my super saiyan ass before.
He landed on the guys head.
I lost my shit at that.
I regained it when I realized krillin was all that was left, and then I proceeded to kill all of the zombies and necromancers.
Both of these two men lived for twenty years as peasants. I reactivated them, and went on a quest to end the namekian empire.

We won.

..........What? You thought Vegeta, the whirling yearling of immortality could fall to NAMEKIANS?
HA!
He died of old age, with three sons. They kick ass.
 

[Naryar]

I do have a theory about socks...

Considering so very many thousands of dwarves have died while foolishly trying to bring back a sock to the fort, the very nature of the sock has been, over time, linked with violent death and suffering. Socks are like fonts of negative energy, in a D&D sense. In a DF sense, socks are linked to the spheres of death and murder, and maybe war.

I therefore suppose that each sock emits a field of entropic energy that has a chance to kill dwarves, and by extrapolation other living creatures, if it is hauled or carried. Not worn, though, via empiric evidence.

I suppose that's why a thrown sock is so deadly.

... Wait, so socks are grisly instruments of murder then ? That settles it, I'm going to worship socks from now on.

[Brays Vatrid]

I had a human outsider named Abraham once. I managed to kill a roc plus a myriad of other mythical creatures, but met my end fighting roughly 20 goblins. I lost sight of my companions, and fought every goblin I could find. I realized my allies were dead, and, after finishing off their leader, scattered the rest of the goblins. I though I had won when a goblin on the edge of my view shot me- one arrow to the arm, the other to the stomach. I made my way towards him, but took an arrow to the throat and bled out. Abraham had ~200 kills and was a legend to all the known civilizations.

[Meistermoxx]

The night after i murdered the entire population of a small village, i am forced to sleep in the woods.
I am awoken my boogiemen, but two fearless stags position stemselves on either side of me, taking the blows and holding the boogiemens attention. I press ., watching time pass as they bravely fight the monsters. I finally deside to help my saviors and finish off the crippled boogiemen. After the boogiemen are all dead, one of the stags bleed to death, the other pulls its mutilated body over to its friend, and dies upon getting there. I can say that my adventurer did not deserve them saving him.
I didn't even know that boogiemen would attack wild animals, so i like to think that the stags guarded me in my sleep, and gave their lives to save the - in their eyes - innoscent, helpless human.

Grammaedit.

[Burnup]

Really bad ass axedwarf shielduser armoruser on his way to collect his candy everything from my old fort with his 15+ followers.

My fort was classic medieval castle keep with 3 block wide inner and outer walls, both walls and the keep are perpetual roof covered pillboxes. walls and keep only accessible from underground. underground only accessible from the courtyard of the keep.

On his way in I thank armok it hasn't been inhabited by-

Event #1:
You take a bolt to the face
You have been struck down!
...

rinse and repeat around 16 times.

...

He finally got in! Though he is now a wreslter shielduser armoruser.. And has 5 out of the 12+ followers he started with. Fought his way through the first room, then while turning into one of the main halls he-

Event #2:
got shanked in the face by a goblin.

...

Event #3:
rinse and repeat event #1 a good 8 more times. then rinse and repeat event #2
then rinse and repeat event #3 a good 5 times.
...


He finally got in! Though he is now a lasher shielduser armoruser.. And has 2 out of the 8+ followers he started with. Fought his way through the first room, then while turning into one of the main halls he-
Slew 3 legendary knife wielding goblins! Then went up to the inside of the keep and-
Slew 15+ legendary goblin Xbowmen! While taking bolt hits from the inner wall.. Went back underground, then up into the inner wall and-
Slew 12+ legendary Goblin Xbowmen! while taking bolt hits from the outer wall.. Went back underground, then up into the outer wall and-
Slew 10+ legendary or otherwise goblin Xbowmen!

...

yay redundant defenses.

...

Then proceeded to clear out the rest of the underground, slew the undead fortress underneath pulled the fun lever and-
Left his men to die! sealing the rest of the world from Hell Fun. Then in his shame he left the edge of the world map and turned into a seal. then gorlak. then fire imp. then-
I deleted that save!

[Burnup]

This isn't an adventurer,
but he should have been.

Two of my front gate guards + eight war dogs, held off two ambushes long enough for my civis to get inside. Not one of the goblins died.. I told all military to NOT go outside. But I suppose the sight of the last front gate guard dragging his bleeding and mutilated body closer to the soon-closing gate was too much for one barely competant sword dwarf.

He was one tick away from the gate catapulting him into space.

And now was outside with eight dead wardogs, a dead guard, a guard about to be finished off, and somewhere around 8 goblins.

The sword dwarf charged straight in, stopping the guard from being finished off. Killed one, dodged another. A goblin went after the downed guard again. The sword dwarf would have none of it! He charged passed the three goblins infront of him just to back stab the goblin threatening his friend. Dodged a bolt, killed another goblin.

And so on.. Until no goblins were left. The sword dwarf took no wounds, and gained a title. The guard survived.

I made that sword dwarf go through #$%& as part of a suicide squad until I found that no matter what I threw them at, no one in his squad would die. Years later I ended up making him the military leader, Had a huge tomb made. suited him with artifact; 1 boot, 1 shield. Everything else Candy, with his candy sword named. I planned on having my adventurer come in and don his equipment, then invade the undead fortress in the depths of my fort, then pull the Fun switch.

But the mother#$%&r wouldn't die! And I wouldn't kill him.

That fort was dying due to FPS..
So I had the now legendary sword dwarf lead his squad into the undead fort and do all of this himself. He did it with no losses.. But I had forgotten he couldn't pull the Fun switch.. So I just tunneled down unleashing Fun upon the world. He stopped them.. losing every man in his military, he alone stood atop the bodies.
"What the hell are you?" I said to the screen.

[Burnup]

My lasher: losing all My followers when I was traveling over mountains, I was following the mountaintop killing the few who got in my way, avoiding the rest. Got to a chasm with a natural strech of stone across it, I had no choice but to go for it. Half way across I ran into a dead end. The other half of the natural bridge was 2 tiles away from me through open air.. I looks back, and observe the horde flooding towards me. I faught heroically until dodging off into thin air! And fell over 40 z levels, narrowly missing spikes of stone, and other natural bridges.

BAM, I nailed a 4x3 of 7/7 water at the bottom. I crawl out, and look up. It was raining bogeymen, they were smashing into the merciless stones around me, some even hitting the natural spikes above me, Bodies shattering.. Not one made it into the tiny pond that had saved me. I had lost my way, But I escaped the mountains 3 days later, finding new followers, on a new adventure.

[KingofstarrySkies]

that.....Was Beautiful.
*Is talking to the guy who was going on about the stags.*

[KingofstarrySkies]

This isn't an adventurer,
but he should have been.

Two of my front gate guards + eight war dogs, held off two ambushes long enough for my civis to get inside. Not one of the goblins died.. I told all military to NOT go outside. But I suppose the sight of the last front gate guard dragging his bleeding and mutilated body closer to the soon-closing gate was too much for one barely competant sword dwarf.

He was one tick away from the gate catapulting him into space.

And now was outside with eight dead wardogs, a dead guard, a guard about to be finished off, and somewhere around 8 goblins.

The sword dwarf charged straight in, stopping the guard from being finished off. Killed one, dodged another. A goblin went after the downed guard again. The sword dwarf would have none of it! He charged passed the three goblins infront of him just to back stab the goblin threatening his friend. Dodged a bolt, killed another goblin.

And so on.. Until no goblins were left. The sword dwarf took no wounds, and gained a title. The guard survived.

I made that sword dwarf go through #$%& as part of a suicide squad until I found that no matter what I threw them at, no one in his squad would die. Years later I ended up making him the military leader, Had a huge tomb made. suited him with artifact; 1 boot, 1 shield. Everything else Candy, with his candy sword named. I planned on having my adventurer come in and don his equipment, then invade the undead fortress in the depths of my fort, then pull the Fun switch.

But the mother#$%&r wouldn't die! And I wouldn't kill him.

That fort was dying due to FPS..
So I had the now legendary sword dwarf lead his squad into the undead fort and do all of this himself. He did it with no losses.. But I had forgotten he couldn't pull the Fun switch.. So I just tunneled down unleashing Fun upon the world. He stopped them.. losing every man in his military, he alone stood atop the bodies.
"What the hell are you?" I said to the screen.

HOLAY SHAT!
So, he killed......HELL!?
I think we just found armoks incarnation. And hes pissed.

[Khorinis]

I once gen'd a world that was basically just elves, with a minority of humans and goblins living amongst the elven civs. I'm guessing the elves overran the world pretty early on and the surviving races are just the left overs. I decided to attack what seemed like a human capital, though it was full of elves and it's buildings were falling apart. I had managed to steal some good armor and a spear off some random adventurer in the woods (unlucky him) and then began to gather as much clothing as I could. I had already slaughtered a town, so I had basically everything I needed. As night came I crept into the village and began to lay the clothing in a perimeter around the city, something that took a great deal of time and many many MANY socks. As I stepped into the village I ignited a near by tree, a fire which quickly spread to my clothing line and from there to other trees and buildings. It was just breaking dawn by now.

Amidst the burning chaos and charred bodies rose the guards and angered civilians, hell bent on bringing me down. The peasants were barely a diversion, their clumsy punches easily parried and countered. Most died instantly, heads and chests impaled, all others were horribly wounded, some fatally. The fire would take care of the unconscious ones. I clashed with the guards, but they too were barely a challenge, falling bloodily before me with their limbs snapped and their life blood gushing forth. Finally, their leader, a human druid in wooden armor but wielding a steel ax, approached me. We fought equally for several turns, blocking and parrying each blow. Finally, he struck the first blow, shattering my right arm and forcing my shield from my hand. His blow left him off balance though, for my next thrust struck him square in the face, glancing off his helmet but breaking his neck  in the process. I struck again, embedding the spear in his chest, however before I could finish him off I was tackled by one of the last living guards.

I lost hold of my spear and found myself beneath an enraged guard brandishing a short sword. I managed to grasp his blade and wrestle it from him before repeatedly stabbing him in the gut. Still he continued to fight, managing to break my left hand before he bled to death. I found myself standing alone in the center of the burning city, both arms useless. It was then that an arrow struck me, piercing my shoulder. It was from an archer, one I considered as good as dead already; both his knees were broken and his stomach was little more then a gaping hole and yet he continued to fight. Enraged, I turned and charged him, as another arrow struck me, sticking in my already dead arms. As I closed the distance, more arrows came, one of which struck my stomach and embedded itself there. I leapt upon him and by some serendipity, managed to sink my teeth into his throat. However, even as I tore his throat out he fired again, piercing my heart this time.

The archer fell dead in moments, already pale with blood loss before my final bite. I lay in the burning ruins, my life draining from me. With my last strength I pulled myself next an old oak and set it ablaze. The fire consumed me even as I died.

OMG
That was fuckin epic o_O
Did it really happen that way?

[bananaman]

I just had an epic adventurer in year 5 of his world. He slaughtered 3 full squads of kobolds, and a cyclops. Then, my band of adventurers went against a roc. My adventurer had a motor nerve severed in his leg in this battle, but managed to kill the roc.
This adventurer was a hero in the eyes of over 100 civs, and was a famous hero in around 10.
My starting civ had no capitol or shops of any kind to get a crutch for him, so I decided to adventure across to another civ that did. I was swimming across a river, and was one step away from the bank, when it froze solid and killed him....

I know its not as good as some of the other stories, but it is the craziest lamest way to die that I've had so far...