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[Kagus]

http://www.fanfictionmysterytheatre.com/1-1_metroid_conspircy.html

I just read a quick passage from that, and I'm almost certain it's a joke.  I mean, come on.  "Homophoner"?  "It may.  May may may.  Mayday"?  That's just blatant.  I'm not seeing many signs of legitimacy here.

Still though, I'll make sure to read it.  Horrible literature is almost always enjoyable in some form or another.

EDIT:  Dude...

Samus and ridley were burst on the houston ship, but there were fucking metorids all over the place.

After this, I don't really care if it's fake or not.  That's an epic quote.

[Cecilff2]

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/962782/111SAMUSRIDLEY4EVA2006-chan

Is where the person posts stuff.  Take special note of chapter 8 of the high school one.  It's actually somewhat coherant.  Almost like the person improved slightly at writing.  It's disturbing.

[Kagus]

Yeah...  Just finished reading the whole thing, and it's definitely a hoax.  Not a shadow of doubt in my mind.

Shame...  I know there must be some "real" fanfics out there that are hilariously bad...  Or heck, I'd settle for more trolls who are as good as Squirrelking.  Man, that guy truly was a king...


But yeah, those Metroid fanfics are certified jokes.  Nothing to worry about, except perhaps for they just don't make trolls like they used to.

[Neonivek]

Well Squirlking wasn't faking it at first. He was likely faking it during the 3rd and 4th chapter or he simply stopped caring about spelling/grammar.

Though the best part is that Squirlking actually at LEAST knew how a story should be formulated. He included real emotional drama which is rare in bad fiction... usually they just ignore it quite quickly (Christian Humber Reloaded for example just uhhh... Lets just say there is one emotion that is paid any attention to)

That and I love his use of grandious language and certain uses of words that I don't get enough of because it is too darned rare.

So from what I can understand... Great bad fiction have SOME aspects of good writing or even great writing.

Though MST3k and Retsupurae take legitimately bad things and poke fun at them while they are playing. (though I don't always agree with Retsupurae)

[Funk]

if you can bear it see Turkish Star Wars.
linkhttp://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7069307816427160377
it just so bad

[Jackrabbit]

If you want, I can write you something.

Beware. It'll be not The Shit, but The Shitpile. Even in terms of being terrible.

[Ultimuh]

If you want, I can write you something.

Beware. It'll be not The Shit, but The Shitpile. Even in terms of being terrible.

A fanfic based on 'The Neverending Story 3'?

I would avoid that at all costs.

[Neonivek]

I'd put The Never Ending Story 3 into the pile if it wasn't just plain bad and brutal stomping on your childhood.

[Aldaris]

I'd put The Never Ending Story 3 into the pile if it wasn't just plain bad and brutal stomping on your childhood.

The neverending story got sequels? Someone didn't understand the idea behind that title. As for fanfic, here's a link to the RP forum of an space MMOG based on something suspiciously like excel spreadsheets.
Yes, some of my stuff is buried deep in that archive, I was part of the absolutely horrible thread that started it (Back when i was, like, 11, and halfway through learning English.) and the semi-decent one that established the community there. Then there were new guys that couldn't write readable english and I left.
[/rant]
Have fun.

[Cthulhu]

Echoes of War
By Cthulhu

Chapter 1: A New Threat

The year is 1969. In Vietnam there is a military base in the jungles of Vietnam. Sitting in the bar in that base, drinking Tequila with no sugar, is a man. That man is Dash Gunmetal. That's Staff Sergeant Dash Gunmetal to you. Dash wears a black trenchcoat, a black cowboy hat, and a pair of dark sunglasses. His boots are made of snakeskin and have spikes made of alligator teeth. A .huge calibore revolver sits in a holster at his side. He has knives.
Suddenly, Commander Wolf Grayskull enters the bar. "Gunmetal!" he says, "We need you to assassinate the Vietcong leader, General Snakeeyes!"
Dash removes his sunglasses. "I already know that." He says, and takes off his sunglasses.
"Of course, Gunmetal. I forgot you have the gift of foresight." Commander Grayskull says apologetically. Dash pushes up his sunglasses out of his eyes and peers at Grayskull with eyes that had no pupils. For Dash is a vampire.
Dash finishes off his bottle of vodka and walks out. He loads his revolver and jumps into the air. His vampire powers allow him to jump all the way out of the base and into the jungle. But it's not a jungle. The Vietcong have used nanobots to turn Vietnam into a futuristic city. Dash takes off his sunglasses, since it's nighttime now, and walks into a seedy bar.
"Where is General Snakeeyes?" He asks viciously. The bartender pulls out a gun! Quick as lightning, quick as a cobra, quick as a barracuda, quick as a moray eel, quick as a sea anemone, quick as a fast, Dash pulls out his knives and cuts the bartender's throat. Everyone pulls out katanas. Dash knows he'll need to see well, so he takes off his sunglasses. It is time to kill.

Chapter 2: Visions of the Past

Dash Gunskull draws his revolver and shoots the first guy. He is blown in half. Another guy jumps from a balcony with a katana and dash parries and knocks the katana out of his hand and slashes him in the chest and then cuts his arms off and then cuts off his head. He shoots another guy behind him, and it goes in slow motion. Three guys shoot at him with machineguns and he bends down to dodge the bullets like in the Matrix. One of the bullets hits his sunglasses and they break.
"Now I'm angry" he says and jumps on the guy and drinks his blood. The blood gives him superspeed and he kills another guy with his claws. He kills more people with his claws, until only one guy is left. Dash picks him up and slams him against the wall. "Where is General Snakeeyes?!"
"I don't speak English" he responded. Gunmetal, disappointed, blows him up with his mind powers because he has mind powers. He walks outside and sees a tower in the distance. It says in neon letters THE HOME OF GENERAL SNAKEEYES.

Chapter 3: A Dark Revelation

Dash jumped to the top of the tower and subdued the guards. Then he killed them. He walked down the stairs into General Snakeeyes Throne Room. But General Snakeeyes wasn't no longer General of the Vietcong. He was now king of Vietnam.
"I am no longer General of the Vietcong, I am now King of Vietnam!" he said from atop his pet dragon. Using his super-vision, Dash saw that Snakeeyes wasn't a human. He was a terminator and also a vampire. Snakeeyes' dragon breathed fire at Dash, and Dash jumped out of the way. The dragon turned into a werewolf and charged at him. Dash fought hard and tried to avoid being bitten because werewolf poison is poisonous. He slashed it in the paw and it howled. It slashed him in the hand he howled. Its poison was now in his veins. He shot it in the head and it exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Dash was wounded. General Snakeeyes would have to wait for another day. Dash jumped out the window, but landed on the ground safely, for he was a vampire. He pushed a button in his pocket that called his car to him. It drove up and he got in. He drove 100 miles an hour away, but there were cars chasing him. He leaned out and shot a car. It exploded. The other cars started shooting at him and he dodged through a fruit stand. He knew he had to go faster to get away, so he pushed a button on the car's dashboard. It turned into a motorcycle. He went 200 miles an hour now. The cars did the same, and now he was in a motorcycle chase. He turned at an exit ramp and ended up on a giant deathrace track where the track was a hundred feet off the ground and looped and stuff. It was time to kill.

Chapter 4: Dangerous Knowledge

Dash drove down the racetrack with the motorcycles behind him. He used an oil slick and one of the motorcycles fell into a pit full of robot sharks. He died. Dash ramped off of a ramp and did a 180. He opened the roof of his motorcycle, because it was one of those enclosed motorcycles like in Spyhunter. He pulled out his revolver and shot two of the motorcycles before turning around and landed on the ground. There was only one motorcycle left and it could fly. Dash tried to get away but it shot missiles at him. He dodged them and they hit a school bus.
"No!" Dash shouted, and remembered his secret weapon. He jumped out of the motorcycle and pulled off his sunglasses. He pushed a button and they started beeping. He threw them like a boomerang and they hit the flying motorcycle. They stuck to it and it used an EMP to shut it down. He ran away for in thirty seconds they would explode and they were a nuclear bomb. At 29 seconds he jumped forward and dove to the ground as they exploded, blowing up General Snakeeyes city of evil.


Chapter 5: Shadows of the Future

Dash returned to the base, but it was destroyed and on fire. He ran to Commander Grayskull, but he was dead.
"Ha ha ha, I have the Dragonball Z!" King Snakeyes cackled. Dash turned around and saw him holding a magical star. "You fool! It was here in your base and I have it to make a wish!" He said. He flew away.
"I swear, King Snakeeyes, I'll revenge you for what you've done" Dash said, and threw his sunglasses to the ground in anger.

To be continued?

Digitally remastered.

[Jackrabbit]

What was that harry potter fanfic with mary sue and vampires?

That was hilarious.

Wait, My Immortal, you mentioned it.

No, really, read it anyway. Or at least the Tropes page.

[Neonivek]

In Vietnam there is a military base in the jungles of Vietnam

Yeah off to a great start, but lets see how long it takes until I hit something else badwritingly stupid.

Sitting in the bar in that base

Hmmm next line

drinking Tequila with no sugar

Wow, this is amazing!

That man is Dash Gunmetal

Your right this is amazing terrible fiction! Well if the first few lines has anything to say about it.

-----

Also as for My Immortal

Ebony isn't so much a Mary sue as a Jerk "Relationship" Sue

She tends not to be very perfect beyond the fact that the world revolves around her and that she is apperantly the center of everything.

Heck if you notice... she is incapable of injuring people even with a gun! (that never seems to run out of bullets)

Though I havn't got far enough... maybe she shows her magical supperiority over everyone else much later... because where I am... she actually doesn't do much... most things are solved either by someone else's magic or the fact that everyone is inlove with her (EVERYONE!)

[Jackrabbit]

ADABRA KABARA

[Lord Dakoth]

Twil-

Oh, bad fanfiction. Ya, I only know D:RoE.

Twilight fans write stuff about the series, too. Pretty much bad fanfiction of bad fiction.

[Kagus]

Aw geez, I've just been reading My Immortal again, this time with a little help from Scotland.

These guys do a wonderful reading, but it's best to read the fanfic itself along with them.  Partyl so you don't miss out, and partly because it can be a little difficult to hear what they're saying from time to time.