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Author Topic: Dwarven Excrement  (Read 690 times)

Overspeculated

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Dwarven Excrement
« on: October 18, 2009, 01:05:07 pm »
Dwarves never go to the toilet. The only thing that dwarves expel from their bodies are little dwarves.
Conclusion: Babies are made of dwarven "waste".

Now I know why dwarves love mud! They are mud!
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slink

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Re: Dwarven Excrement
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2009, 01:25:15 pm »
Only female Dwarves expel babies.  If your theory is true, then that means male Dwarves are all full of it.   :D
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There is only one cat, and all cats are that cat.
Almost losing is sometimes fun.

Julius Clonkus

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Re: Dwarven Excrement
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2009, 01:53:15 pm »
Even though it's not realistic for dwarves not needing to take a dump, I'd rather not see half my population with a "Wait for free toilet" job. Or fifty toilets spread through my fortress. Seriously.
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Quote from: Christes on December 12, 2009, 02:35:20 am
Holy schist, this thread is mica me sick.
Quote from: Greiger on August 18, 2010, 11:20:45 pm
DF Players never truly leave.  They just abandon the fortress for a few years and then reclaim.

slink

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Re: Dwarven Excrement
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2009, 02:26:48 pm »
Or have them failing to get there in time because "as the crow flies" pathing makes them go to the toilet many, many steps further away "as the Dwarf walks" than the actual closest one, followed by a bad thought and some stagnant water.  I think someone already wrote a game like that.   :P
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There is only one cat, and all cats are that cat.
Almost losing is sometimes fun.

Skorpion

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Re: Dwarven Excrement
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2009, 02:37:31 pm »
My theory is that dwarves have very efficient metabolisms, and excrete by way of vomiting. They know that sunlight means outside, so it's not going to mess the fort up when they throw up.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

Jetsquirrel

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Re: Dwarven Excrement
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2009, 02:40:35 pm »
Dwarven logic
inside = house
Outside = toilet
Elves = toilet paper
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