Chapter Ten - WHAT'S - INSIDE - THE HATCH???17th Limestone, 504"Do you know," Nako commented, punching an inexplicably hopping farmer in the face. The farmer tilted, quickly hopped backwards, and then proceeded to counter with a vicious head butt before toppling to the ground. "This has been the hardest, bloodiest, and most enjoyable battle I have ever fought in."
"It's only been five minutes," a hammergoblin replied sceptically, breaking the farmer's others knee. Nako considered this, kicking the flailing farmer in the crotch a few times.
"My statement stills holds true!" Nako declared happily, tap-dancing on the farmer's stomach. The hammergoblin shrugged and swung at a nearby guard. He, Nako and a few goblins were slowly fighting their way north around Ramactaba's engraved hall. Ber and the other goblins had seperated a couple of minutes ago while chasing and subsequently being chased by other humans. A couple of high pitched screams hadn't boded well for them, but Nako knew if he turned back now their chance to reach - and firebomb as requested - the hatch would be lost to the merchant guards.
(Engraved on the wall is an exceptionally designed image of a dot. The dot is surrounded by stone. The artwork related to the tripping while eating of a carrot by the human Gido Waxyvigor in Ramactaba in 483.)"Damn you, hell spawn! What do you want with us?" a human guard swore, retreating back into the hall.
"An unlimited pass to your underground nude spa!" Nako answered, following. Another guard from inside caught sight of the goblins and drew his weapon, and the first guard turned to fight.
"What underground ..." the guard suddenly burst out into laughter, even while he fought. Nako and two wrestlers ducked under his weapon and grappled his arm. The guard broke free and swung hard, splattering the brains of one goblin across the grass. Undeterred, the wrestlers tried again. "Oh, I won't have to worry about seeing you in hell." Those were his last words before Nako ripped his tongue out. And a few other organs to follow. And then juggled them.
"Are you HUMMING?" another wrestler exclaimed.
"I can't remember the lyrics!" Nako replied, slapping the other human's face in time with the tune. "It goes 'something something flowers, something something elf, but when you've got the power, they'll something need help!" The wrestler stared at Nako, just long enough to be caught unaware by the human and smashed into the cliff face.
(Not pictured: Tactics.)Something snapped in the last guard's eyes, and he let out a roar. His weapon was swung wildly, spinning all around him and generally being ineffective. One suddenly low blow caught Nako by surprise, smacking into his head as he ducked. Nako reeled in pain and dry retched while hammergoblins quickly ran in between him and the guard. The guard dropped his weapon in exhaustion and ran further into the hall.
"I'm fine!" Nako assured, grinning at a spot forty-five degrees clockwise of the hammergoblins. "We're good. Why aren't you stealing those stars yet?"
"Maybe we should quit while we're ahead," one of the hammergoblins suggested. "There's no way we're making it to the hatch now, but we've still worn the humans down a little bit."
"And walk all the way BACK?!" Nako exclaimed, tutting a finger at an engraving of a tree. "Hell no, not without Ber to talk with. This is much more fun."
"If you die now, your clone isn't even going to be the same goblin doing all this!" the hammergoblin objected.
"Existential debating:
Later. Ago's poorly defined revenge on these humans:
Now."
Nako made a fist and charged in mostly the right direction, glancing off a wall and heading towards the terrified guard. The other goblins followed in varied states of enthusiasm. Together the goblins mobbed the guard and finished him off without much difficulty. The immediate area free of hostiles, one of the goblins took to examining the carvings around them while Nako called for a headcount.
"Uh, three," the unoccupied hammergoblin replied. "Including you."
"Hmm," Nako considered. "Are you sure you didn't miscount?"
"Pretty sure, yeah." Nako further considered this, scribbling some diagrams into the dirt to aid him. Meanwhile, one of the hammergoblins beckoned the other over to a particular engraving on the wall.
"This is weird," the hammergoblin whispered. Outside the hall marching feet could be heard passing by. "You know that old, dark prophecy that had the phallic gem cluster in it? There's an engraving here that uses almost the exact same runes, but instead of the dark moon there's a picture of a bloodied sun. Almost like it's supposed to be a holy prophecy."
"Huh," the other hammergoblin replied, and leaned in closer to see it. "You sure that's not just YOUR blood?"
"Hey shut up, you took way more hits than I did. Just because you lucked out with the armour ..."
"Okay, if anybody asks? I'm bored," Nako suddenly announced, drawing attention back to himself. At his feet were various stickgoblins dying slow, horrible deaths. Each was measured by pain and the graph beside the doodle of three stickgoblins running through a forest was comparatively low. "But screw it, let's get out of here."
The hammergoblins nodded their agreement. Once it was quiet again Nako led them out of the hall. Carefully they started to backtrack south, ignoring the corpses in their path. No more guards seemed to remain around the fringes of the town; either Ber's group had killed most of them after splitting up or they'd retreated to protect the hatch further in. Either way, Nako was careful to keep quiet while the living goblins snuck towards their safety. For at least two minutes, anyway.
"ARGH, why does sneaking around have to be so SLOW?!" Nako snapped, kicking a chunk of human flesh in his path.
"There are surviving goblins on the southern outskirts! Get them!" the roar of a human came back. While the two hammergoblins glared at Nako, all three started running.
(Said 'screwing it' and 'getting out', respectively.)- - -
"We killed a few outer guards, ended split up inside the town, were worn down by more guards and mostly died before we could reach the hatch," Nako recapped blandly, waving the newly cloned wrestler towards a pile of narrow silk clothing the survivors had stolen on their way back to camp. The wrestler nodded, disoriented, and happily slipped on a pair of the smooth, luxurious pants. Gribishrodus stood at the controls and punched in the next name.
"Why do
I have to do this?" Nako asked irritably, tapping his foot while the cloning machine warmed up, or cooled down, or whatever the hell it actually did again.
"Ago tells me you were in charge when they died," Gribs replied idly. "I imagine their armour wasn't cheap to buy back from the same merchants that looted it, either."
"Yeah, well ..." Nako looked away and twiddled his thumbs. "So why are
you doing this? I thought you quit, anyway."
"I overheard a guard in Ramactaba discussing how they'd caught a goblin trying to sabotage their defences, and what precautions to take against a goblin invasion," Gribs explained, fiddling with a few controls. "I was too slow to warn Ago before you'd already left, but offered my services as a scout now that he was willing to 'forcibly investigate' the town." Gribs frowned and pressed a button. There were no response from the cloning machine. "Unusual. The machine isn't cloning Ber Sasalusbu."
"What?" Nako immediately snapped to attention, and peered over the kobold's shoulder. A few symbols waved up and down on the display screen but Nako didn't understand them.
"Nako, did you account for all the bodies when you left the battlefield?" Gribs asked, still calm.
"Yes! Well, no. I was sort of in a hurry," Nako answered edgily. Gribs nodded.
"She would have rejoined you if she was well and I'm sure the humans would have killed her if she was injured, but," Gribs considered, pointing at the display. "She's 'already alive in this dimension'."
- - -
"We're all in terrible danger," Rabies spoke earnestly. Ago rolled his eyes and also a few bowling balls towards Rabies, who hastily dodged them.
"That's what you said last time," Ago replied irritably. He was not in the mood for this. If there even was such a mood for this. There probably was not, but Ago liked to consider himself an open minded leader, which why he had allowed this
conbold back into his camp a second time.
"I meant it last time too, but I didn't realise how fast they were growing," Rabies massaged his forehead, then sat down on one of the balls. "But Sethreksas has taken one of your goblins alive. They must need outside intelligence, which means they're almost ready to emerge. I won't kid you right now, I'm thinking of my own preservation here. If any of us are going to stand even the slightest chance against this, we need to combine forces."
"With who? Your mewling band of merry snoozers? Don't make me laugh, punk."
"Yes, and others. You'll never crawl back, but I'll make the offer again once you've seen it," Rabies shrugged and turned to leave. Despite himself, Ago hurled another stone to get the kobold's attention. Rabies jumped it as if he'd known it was coming.
"How about you tell me just what the hell you claim they're hiding, or you don't leave this camp until you've died very slowly," Ago threatened.
"Of course." A smug smile grew on Rabies's face. "Just not on camera quite yet."
- - -
It was dark where Ber was standing. That had been her first impression after coming to, the darkness. There was no glowing from the clone machine, no twinkle of stars, no warmth from a camp fire. Wherever she was, it was somewhere far deeper concealed than she had ever been in her life.
She hadn't died, she knew that much. Her memories were fully intact, and a wound on her side ached too much for heaven and too little for hell. An incredibly strong swordsman and axeman had chased her and a few other goblins away from Nako. She'd seen the other goblins struck down one by one. The swordsman had headed towards her and then ... this. A clanging, and darkness.
The unfinished traps had been decoys, she realised now, and she'd been careless. Once she'd realised what had happened she'd tried to kill herself, but she had no weapons and couldn't summon the willpower to actually choke her own neck. By groping in the darkness she had found thick maple bars containing her and some heavy cover hiding her from outside sight. Occasionally she heard muffled noises outside, perhaps discussing her fate. What had happened was abundantly clear, but why the humans would bother taking a captive she couldn't figure out. Unless it wasn't humans at all that surrounded her cage.
Suddenly a much clearer noise came through into the enclosure, one of heavy fabric being moved. Ber drowsily pinched herself to attention and narrowed her eyes, but wasn't quick enough for the rush of artificial light that burst into the cage. All she could make out was a blurry figure standing just beyond the bars.
"What do you want with me?" Ber demanded, blinking hurriedly. The figure only chuckled as he came into view and Ber gasped, finally realising what the hatch had been hiding all along.
"Welcome to Sethreksas."
END OF ACT ONE
YES
I AM AN ARSEHOLE
Author
Topic: Goblin Story (There are dwarves in it now I SWEAR.) (Read 8786 times)