1st Malachite, 209, Mid-Summer
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Three goblin snatchers were killed by a motley crew consisting of Nomal Zenithdagger the Engraver, Atír Razorcloak the Woodcutter, Led Theaterally the Furnace Operator, and the two dogs ònul Flagpointed and Kogan Spearsecrets. With no casualties on our side, save a bruised
left upper arm on Led! Way to protect our children!
"Oh, bother. I was really hoping one of them would die..."
I turn and find Likot Fountainclouted, our fort's only glassmaker (and only a Competent one at that), shaking his head at the lack of bodies.
"Likot! What--"
"No, no, erase that. It's not Likot anymore."
"...It's an engraving on slate. I can't erase it."
"Then scratch it out! My name is 'Rick' now... 'Rick' the 'Undertaker.'"
"'Rick?!' Is that a human name?! Ugh...
Fine, guess I'll have to go and change
yet another name in the logs. What's with this 'Undertaker' bit though?"
"Zon, every dwarf needs a proper burial sooner or later... preferably sooner... I want to take it upon myself to ensure that they have a... pleasant rest in the afterlife... and who wouldn't want to start their eternal peaceful slumber early?"
"You're creepy. Go move some more rocks onto that garbage compactor."
"Wouldn't you want them to be
under the bridge...?"
"It's more Fun this way! No go on, 'Rick,' let's see you roll some rocks."
"You don't mind where I put them, do you? I'm... disorganized."
"It's a dump. Soon it'll all be dust. Don't beat yourself up over it."
I'm noticing a trend that's starting to bother me... the workers are no longer ecstatic. It's probably the paranoia caused by the unexplained loss of their duke, following the loss of their baron... or, it could be their dismal 1x2 bedrooms. I immediately designate the entire dormitory quarters to be smoothed, seeing if this will alleviate the problem. If need be, we can start engraving pictures of dwarves being struck down by goblins or burning in magma to lighten their spirits better. This is a perfectly sound and reasonable solution, if I do say so myself.
Reg the consort followed up her demand of a gold item with a demand of a pick. Lucky her, she's getting one made of iron - we're practically swimming in the stuff right now! Kikrost the dungeon master also put in an order for a silver armor stand in her bedroom. Isn't it funny how these nobles all want several armor stands and weapon racks, but Armok be damned if you'll ever see them fight? I could see the hammerer needing
one weapon rack for that big, hefty hammer she carries around, but that's it. Ah, well... silver armor stand it is.
Oh, and to be expected, Tekkud needs me to make a trifle pewter item just because everybody else is getting something. What a freeloader! Trifle pewter isn't even that valuable, why are you wasting my time with this? At least I can sell those golden goblets Reg had me make...
Nevermind!
Argh!! What's going to happen when there are even more consorts?? This is preposterous...
I realize that I never created new bedrooms for the migrants that came with the latest duke! I don't feel like counting beds, so I just order up forty new ones and a long hallway full of more 1x2 rooms. Better to have too many than to have too few... also, what else are we going to do with all that wood? Might as well... Hey, we struck native platinum in one of the new rooms! Looks like some lucky fella is getting a 3x2.
A fourth goblin snatcher appears. Sigun Ikudmafol the Pump Operator (and I wish I knew what else) tackles it, but the thief gets the upper hand. Two more dwarves and a dog rush in to save Sigun, who falls unconscious, but this goblin is resilient! It manages to take down Sigun with it. Curses... well, 'Rick,' looks like you finally have something to bury.