((Warning: Looooong post ahead!))
22nd Granite, 207, Early Spring
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Several kobolds and goblin snatchers appeared, but thankfully no ambushes yet. Bëmbul the guard proved himself to be totally inept... he bumped into a kobold, and then he froze in place for a good solid minute and a half, just watching the kobold run away. Grr! I order him to shave his beard - and have the hammerer stand ready, in case he drops a tantrum.
I, myself, chase down and kill a goblin snatcher. That's twelve kills for me. Eat your heart out, Archibold; I'm not even wearing armor.
Reg Eralfath is assigned the duty of metal extraction for purposes of the adamantine experiment. The masons simply would not build the floor out of the ore, so maybe they'll build it from wafers.
Meanwhile, a second test is conducted to see what happens when we drop a floor made from a green glass block--
An ambush! Curse them, I'm trying to do
science here!!
"Alright, dwarves!" Other Grendus takes command, as Archibold is absent
yet again. "You know the drill! Stay here in the box until you see the yellows of their eyes! They're all the way on the other side of the mountain, so we've got a while to wait. Steady, st--"
((DFMA)) ((Movie)) "--oh! Where did you come from, you sneaky green bastards?!"Tekkud Lenodmeng, the Tax Collector, put out an order for two Trifle Pewter items. I ordered up some flasks right away to shut him up. Last time we waited around, Inod put out two export mandates. Sheesh...
Back to the experiment, Athel Zegrigňth, child of Dodók Cloisterinches the Geared Guile of Waving and Rith Hollowseal the Guard, triggers a cave in involving the green glass block. Alas, searching the ground only turns up a single green glass block and an unconscious Athel. Let's not tell Dodók that I used his kid for
science...Unabashed, I order up some adamantine wafers to try again. No one is getting around to it for a while, but I guess this can wait.
Aaaaand in the midst of the ambush, I completely forgot about the obsidian. The entire plot is flooded 7/7 and is currently draining into the area around my soggy crypt. Beautiful.
Actually, now that I get a better look at Asob's design I realize that this was always her intent. The runoff from the obsidian farm would create a circular pond around the crypt, turning the plot of
Outside Light Above Ground land into an underground island.
Asob... That reminds me about that book I found in her room... Conveniently, I find her hanging out in her dining room admiring some fine engravings.
"Hello, Asob!"
"I never understood why the symbol of the Swift Arches is querns..." Immediately launching into artistic criticism, Asob doesn't take her eyes off of an engraving entitled 'The Passionate Girder.' I try not to think too hard about that title. "Querns are so lazy. They're basically just millstones without power, right? It's like we're saying 'Hey, we're the Swift Arches! We can't be arsed to do anything the right way, we'd rather stay in the stone age.'"
"It's not much better than the one we voted for when we founded the Crypt of Crowns. Tower-caps, really? Are we elves or are we dwarves?"
"That vote was mostly Fikod the miner's doing. I didn't vote for it either, but they still got the majority. Anyway, what did you want, Zon?"
"Well, last week I came looking for you to remind you to trade with the elves, and I noticed a book lying on top of your cabinet. It was green and had the symbol of Pesor Siti on it."
"The Confederacies of Targeting? Yes, Bujit left it behind. It's his book of records. He keeps track of everything we traded for in there."
"And he left it? Sheesh! How long's this guy had his job?"
"Not much longer, I'd suspect!"
"Have you... you know..."
"Read it? No. Wouldn't it be rude?"
I sigh and scratch my beard. "Very much so. And I'm not going to lie, it could even be damaging to our relations with Pesor Siti if they found out we read it. But I want to get to the bottom of the goblin bands who were lead by humans."
"Why? Humans haven't been seen in the goblin groups in at least two years. Clearly, something has happened to break their alliance."
"I wouldn't count on it... Don't you care for the fortress? If there are clues within, it could protect the fort."
"...Ok, I admit it. I tried to read it, but... I can't read human."
I blink. "You... can't read human."
"Nope, not a word of it."
"And you've been signing trade agreements with the humans since we embarked here."
"Bujit was kind enough to read them to me!"
I close my eyes and take several deep breaths. Asob doesn't need to see my angry side again...
"Wow, that's a neat trick. You can write in your diary with your eyes closed?"
"Asob. Hasn't it occurred to you that Bujit might
not be reading you what's on the page, and just telling you it says something else so you'll sign it?"
"What? Oh. Oh!
Oohhhhhh..." Asob slumped her shoulders and started to walk out of the room.
I grab her by the left upper arm to stop her. "No, Asob, don't pull the lever. It's not worth it."
"Yeah, but who knows what agreements I've gotten us into?"
"Do you have copies?"
"...No, Bujit keeps them."
"Asob!"
"Alright, I'm going!"
"Stop trying to leave to go pull the lever already! Sheesh... in that case, I really think it's necessary we look into this record book. We need to get an idea what these guys are like to find out whether they're the type to pull our beards over our eyes."
I retrieve the book from her ¤Basalt cabinet¤ where it still lay. As I re-enter her dining room, she
forbids the door so no one can walk in and see us snooping about.
The first thing I notice is a list of all of Pesor Siti's towns...
Ithevbale, "Closetpastimes", a town
Owner: The Anguished Coalition, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Lelgo Prankgift, human
64 humans
1 wagon
Istrabelom, "Twinklehumor", a town
Owner: The Society of Meshes, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Gipest Wealthssmile, human
101 humans
4 muskoxen
4 wagons
3 donkeys
2 mules
Uzuret, "Beeshooves", a town
Owner: The Group of Truth, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Cil Temptedrooters, human
96 humans"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing, Zon?!"
"What do you mean?"
"You're copying Bujit's records!"
"So? Is that a bad thing?"
"...I don't know. Personally, I'm quite concerned about this writing addiction of yours."
"Wha-- it's not an addiction! Let me get back to this, I'm looking for clues."
Areisha, "Goodcherishs", a town
Owner: The Council of Jacks, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Nushrat Sabredance, human
88 humans
6 wagons
2 donkeys
2 mules
Arthapika, "Spineknit", a town
Owner: The Red Dates-Fellowship, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: S thra Touchbastions, human
68 humans
Githaaggung, "Flaggulf", a town
Owner: The Girlish Councils, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Mo¤ol Spinessprings, human
51 humans
Daspan, "Sackwork", a town
Owner: The Society of Tempests, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Ciko Crazytruss, human
85 humans
Josuerod, "Musicracks", a town
Owner: The League of Wildness, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Uram Hopperfires, human
52 humans"Huh," I mutter. "Some of these government names sound a little funny."
"How do you mean?"
"Well, come on. 'The Anguished Coalition?' 'The League of Wildness?'"
"'The Girlish Councils?'"
"No, not that kind of funny. I mean disturbing."
"... 'The Girlish Councils?'"
"...You've got me."
Threteltoke, "Fatalround", a town
Owner: The Council of Consideration, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Teme Laborspiral, human
46 humans
Nikomceshca, "Critterobeyed", a town
Owner: The Sloppy Councils, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Nebo Daubnut, human
87 humans
Oburodoh, "Lunchowns", a town
Owner: The Past Crystalline Council, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Tista Orderquick, human
69 humans
Boshkucari, "Cruxboot", a town
Owner: The Coalition of Nourishing, humans
Parent Civ: The Confederacies of Targeting, humans
Leader: Imec Faithhelped, human
24 humans
Zursulbalad, "Severedcoils", a mountain fortress
Owner: The Crypt of Crowns, dwarves
Parent Civ: The Swift Arches, dwarves
Leader: Asob Cryptsieges, dwarf"Huh... There must be some mistake. Not only does he have our fortress listed under the wrong section, but he has
you down as our leader."
"Well, Zon, I
am mayor. Technically, I've outranked you for a while."
"And yet, you still take orders from me. How does
that work?" I give Asob a playful smile, but I don't think the joke went over well with her.
I turn the page. Oh, this looks like familiar material - religions. What a coinc--
"Zon? Why'd you stop?"
"This... this definitely needs to be recorded. We have a problem here."
...Zas Shootdips (b.49, Reign Began: 169), Inherited from father, Married (d. 72)
1 Child -- Ages: 143
Worships Stot Flagcuddles (38%)
The Confederacies of Targeting, Humans
Worship List
Sitsu the Maze of Fogs, deity: darkness
Lerdi the Midnight of Terror, deity: murder
Stathra, deity: travelers, revelry
Sewat the Poison of Menace, deity: torture
Bese, deity: marriage, pregnancy
Quamun Veiledperplexes, deity: trickery, the night
Sathar, deity: gambling, fortresses
Usmen, deity: thralldom
Rubsit, deity: disease, laws, order
Nushrat, deity: oaths, loyalty
Ruler List
The Belted Birds, Elves
Worship List..."Huh? Where's the Ruler List for Pesor Siti?"
"That's not what-- wait, I thought you couldn't read human?"
"I'm reading what you just wrote in your diary over your shoulder."
"Oh. No, look at their gods! All but a few are inherently evil!"
"Oh.
Oohhhhhh... OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!!"