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[KenboCalrissian]

14th Limestone, 206, Early Autumn
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To put the goblin mystery to rest, I decided to visit Dodók, the history expert/swordsdwarf/wrestler - or as he was now called by the dwarves on account of his five goblin kills plus a macaque, Dodók Oddommeb Olonilbĺd Uker, and by Bujit the human guild representative (who so boldly interrupted the siege with his demands for our shopping list), Dodók Cloisterinches the Geared Guile of Waving.  He seemed to know quite a bit about goblins the last time I spoke to him, so maybe he could help me straighten things out here.  I found him on our drawbridge, on his way inside for a drink.

"Dodók!  We meet again."

"Meet?  Huh... I see you every day, Zon!  You have a funny way of meeting people!"

"Err... Yes, well, you know how it is."

"No, I don't."

"...No, that's... that just a figure of speech, Dodók.  There's nothing really to know."

"Oh."

"Aaaanyway.  I was hoping you could tell me more about The Released Sins.  Mostly, I'm curious to know about the leaders who came to fight recently."

"Ah, yes.  Their sieges officially came to be recognized by King Minkot as a war just last year in 205, known as Okuzo--"

"'The Angry Conflict,'" Bujit Quispeptamed, Human guild representative, so boldly butted in from out of nowhere.  "'Tis a good name for a war."

You can tell a follower of Asën didn't think that one up, I wanted to say, but held my tongue.  Chances are the name was the King's brilliant idea.

"This latest siege is known as Etosp Kudo--"

"The Siege of Growling!" Bujit literally bounced with glee.  Dodók's hand moved toward his (Steel short sword)...

"Yes, Bujit, very good.  Your teacher would be impressed that you have learned our language so well.  But, if you would be so kind, I'd like very much to hear Dodók's story.  Besides, shouldn't you be finishing those trade agreements with Asob?"

"Oh... well, I seem to have lost track of her.  I'm told she makes frequent reports to you, so I thought I would follow you until she comes by, and then we can finish those agreements."

"That's... wonderful, Bujit.  How very smart of you.  Isn't he smart, Dodók?"

"Please, can I get on with my story?!"

"Of course!  Who, again, were the leaders of The Released Sins?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"This attack was lead by the goblin Song Ozautes Zospuzak Slaku, the axelord--"

"Song Roarspiders the... the... hrmm..."

"Umbral."

"Ah, yes!  Roarspiders the Umbral Bar of Continents!"

"...May I continue??"  Dodók waited, but Bujit remained perfectly silent for several moments.  "Good.  Of course, as we all know because a certain someone was shouting it loudly, Song bled to death after Archibold Bridgebolt the Equivalent Ram of Artifacts cut him down."

"Aw, you didn't say it in dwarven..."

"One more word, and I swear--"

"Ignore him, Dodók.  Please, continue."

Dodók readjusted his scabbard and pressed on with his tale.  "Grendus the dwarf was killed by the goblin Tode Witchfats, who was later defeated by none other than Archibold... Vabôk Lullpaddled the Craterous Machine of Citadels, one of our marksdwarves, killed five goblins this battle, but alas, he was struck down by the goblin Atu Hategulf."

"I know, I saw that part.  What I'm curious of, most of all, is what happened to Song Ulatu Olngöraslost Snuna--"

"Song Glazedflies The Monstrous Counsellor of Fountains?"

"It's 'Fortunes...' So sorry, perhaps you should get a refund on those goblin language lessons?"

"Oh, him," Dodók continued, forcibly ignoring yet another interruption.  "A dangerous axelord, but he held no special rank.  He died ingloriously in the jaws of the war dog Monom Perplexedwhips - unfortunately, Monom was immediately after shot and killed by the goblin Smuntsu Demoncaught."

"Ah..."  I was so sure that was the leader!  I must have got one Song confused with another... What kind of a Legendary Clerk makes clerical errors?!

"Well, that settles that mystery..."

"By the by, Zon... Have you had a moment to count the dead?  It seems we lost quite a few soldiers this time."

"Sorry, I'm afraid I haven't.  There are a total of seventy-five corpses, including all dwarves, dogs, and goblins.  It's a lot to sort through.  Rest easy, though, Dodók.  They'll all soon find their resting place in the crypts.  At least we got one of their local leaders."

Dodók grinned.  "Only one?  I counted two."

"Hm?  I know for a fact that Archibold killed Song Fiendfought, one of the two local leaders who came to this fight."

"Aye, and the very first goblin to fall in battle!

"But I was pretty sure Olngö Dospoem Tokxemösmlo Smaxa got away."

Dodók and I both waited for Bujit, who stood there, scratched his head, and shrugged.

"... The Old Perfection of Accidents?"

"I had no idea on that one, sorry."

Dodók laughed.  At me, not Bujit, who was lucky to still be alive after butting in so many times.  "Well, well, who's that goblin I see over there in yonder puppy trap?"

"No!  Are you serious?"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"So!  What should we do with the second of two goblin local leaders from The Released Sins?"

[The Architect]

I'll take him with both hands tied behind my back and balancing a kitten on the top of each foot!

But, not to be greedy: I vote an arena show, for all the people, where I take him on bare-ass naked and he has full equipment.

[KenboCalrissian]

Yeah, why not throw away the most decorated, most capable killer of the fortress?  It's not like I'll be fighting an undisclosed variety of clowns later or anything like that.

[Lord Dakoth]

I say that you have a hunting party. Release him a ways away from your fort via levers, then see if your war dogs can catch him before he reaches the edge of the map.

If you're in favor of torture, you could dig a small pit, fill it with 2/7 water, and put a whip weapon trap in it. The goblin is then slowly whipped to death as he flounders in a puddle of his own blood.

[The Architect]

Great idea! Make sure you drop him in using a glass drawbridge so that he can see the sky and freedom the whole time, but can't reach it. You could even set a door and a bridge with pressure plates and use him as a repeater for a spike trap to kill others.

[KenboCalrissian]

20th Limestone, 206, Early Autumn
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Eight soldiers and guards dead in the last attack... This was by and far the worst we've ever had.  The militia's crypt has been filled, and needs to be expanded for future interments.

The main focuses right now are replacing the lost warriors, and getting that fountain built to make the workers happy.  We need to do everything possible to prevent tantrums.

A kobold shows up and tries to steal something.  Udib Uristnakuth spots him - what luck, Udib is already skilled in wrestling!  Udib decides to try and take down the kobold, and...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Are you kidding me?!  A skilled wrestler, not to mention legendary crafter, killed by a kobold!!  How?!  Talk about a lucky shot... wow, that's one more grave I need to fill.

This season is looking to be extremely bleak, and it's only just begun... We've already received word that no one even considered making the journey to such a cursed death-trap this season.  That's fine and all, we really don't need any more heads, but to be considered a death trap!

...Ok, you got me.  It is a death trap.  For Counts, anyway!  Others shouldn't be alarmed by that...

Another kobold unfortunately finds himself face to face with Dumat Amudthob the Woodcutter and is chucked several Urists away.  Persistent little things... Maybe we need to be a little more careful with kobolds.  I never thought them to be dangerous at all until Udib was killed by one.

Shorast Cudďstolon, Cook, begins a rather complicated looking artifact, so far involving twelve separate components, mostly bone, shell, and leather.

"Eeeek!!"

Asob?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A kobold stumbled into Asob!  She ran up into the guard tower to get away from it, but... it's chased her up the stairs!!  They really are getting more aggressive!  Fortunately, part of the wall hadn't yet been constructed and there was actually a thin path onto the mountain beside it that she was able to escape through.  Apparently, this just happened to be the same escape route the kobold wanted.  I'd have told her to attack it, but... well, we lost one legendary to a freak kobold accident just now.  I don't want to risk the same thing with Asob.  We let this one get away...

Right now there are seven injured dwarves resting injuries.  I take this time to grab an assortment of unneeded personnel and recruit them for training.  The champions are assigned posts to reduce the number of training injuries.

Imush has been demoted to a peasant.  He can't do us much good as a marksdwarf if he's blind... and narcoleptic.  He keeps passing out every so many steps, but he won't rest.  Speaking of marksdwarves, I set an ammo pile within the guard tower.  I noticed several marksdwarves left the tower and ran into battle after running out of bolts, and I want to prevent this.

To my surprise, Shorast finished a stone mug artifact, called Mostoditur Kovest Likot.  At first I think it's a religious artifact devoted to my god, Kovest, but I check my notes and recall that Shorast is a woshipper of Nikot the Ray of Robustness, god of... err... fat beams?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...Like ...which end do I drink from?  This thing isn't even recognizable as a mug anymore.  I'm afraid I'm going to cut my lip on menacing spikes of turtle shell and groundhog leather if I even try to drink from it... heck, where would I even hold it?  And why on earth is the exact same piece of history on the artifact twice?  This is why I just don't get art.  I kind of like the name 'Pearl of Ink,' but as Asob would say, the irony is too obvious.

[The Architect]

Nickname: Tiresias
Job: The Blind Prophet

Is one of my best dwarves. I used pump operating and record keeping to end the narcolepsy, and how Tiresias kicks some serious ass. Thinking of turning her into a civilian champion for kicks (I named her Tiresias before I realized it was a she).

[KenboCalrissian]

9th Sandstone, 206, Mid-Autumn
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The workers have been complaining of tremors all week.  I've thoroughly checked the halls and, as expected, the cut of our dwarven picks have been smart and sure.  I can find no structural faults in the mines, and the only thing we've been digging is the pile of obsidian.  I don't know, I haven't noticed anything.  Everyone is on edge, though.

There's a lot of narrow iron armor to melt down, so I assign three magma smelters to repeated melting.  I also commission several more full sets of armor for the new recruits.  I fear I've recruited a bunch of slackers... all this time, and none of them are in a full set of leather yet, even though we have plenty to go around.

Thoom.

Huh... felt that one.  So they aren't imagining it...

Count Tholtig found a way to make an annoying demand from beyond the grave... or rather, from several leagues below.  I found that one of the coffins in the military crypt was assigned to him, even though there was no body to be placed inside.  What the hell?  This must be Inod's doing.  Annoyed, I order the coffin removed, and a new one placed in Inod's crypt, which is then immediately claimed by the dead Tholtig.

Thoom.

...Uhm... ok, that was a big one.  I decide to see what's going on.

Outside, I notice the majority of the workers are staring out toward the south west.  I push by to see what--

Oh...

Thoom.

((DFMA)) ((Movie)) Kikrost the Dungeon Master shouted.  "The titan Anetha Caquiaritha Noletha Eyo has come!"

"Pah!  And you were worried," I laugh.  "Come and get me when a real threat approaches."

Amusingly enough, the kill went to Athel 'Wringfenced' Ulzestustuth, one of the brand new swordsdwarf recruits.  I have a good feeling about that one...

The obsidian is harvestable now.  Not much left, then we'll have to refill the reservoir with magma.  I thought for a moment about sticking the goblin cages inside the reservoir and watching the goblins panic as the magma slowly creeps up on them, but then I decided I'd rather see them fight five giant eagles and the dragon.  In case that doesn't go as expected, I keep one of the male giant eagles restrained next to the female we already had.

The stairway fountain is coming along smoothly.  It will span four z-levels, is floodgate-controlled, and arranged such that water will constantly rise and fall through floor grates, generating mist that will seep through wall grates into the stairway.  The floodgate, all the pumps, and all the grates are in place.  We're just waiting on the mechanisms to get linked up and the gear assembly that will draw power from the windmill above... though now that I add up the power requirements, we'll definitely need another windmill to get it moving.

[Quietust]

Every dwarf must have a coffin, even if there's nothing to put in it. Coffins are allocated in the order in which they were built, and the dwarves themselves (and their pets) are assigned in the order in which they died. I usually just set aside a general catacombs area in my fort, build a bunch of coffins, then make them available for burial - if I decide a certain dwarf deserves to be buried somewhere else, I'll turn off all of the other unassigned coffins, build new coffins where I want those dwarves buried, then deconstruct the ones currently holding their remains. It's a shame you can't assign a tomb to a dwarf that's already dead.

[KenboCalrissian]

Yup, I was being pretty careful about that all along.  I forgot about the Count, though, and it threw me off.  Then I had a FUN time of trying to juggle around his resting place with those of two other soldiers.  The end result is an ugly placement in Inod's crypt.

[KenboCalrissian]

FYI, busy weekend ahead of me so expect few updates for a couple of days.

[KenboCalrissian]

3rd Moonstone, 206, Winter
-------------

One of the guards - Goden Gébaralĺth - suffocated to death in the barracks.  The death count for this year continues to rise...

There's a lot of construction going on right now, and work is divided between the stairwell fountain and finishing the giant eagle roost.  The obsidian is almost totally carved out, we just need it moved out of there now.

Urvad Dodókäkil , Olin Geshudibruk, and 'Other Grendus' Thusestcilob all became champions within a short time.  Most of the export mandates have ceased, and we haven't had any demands in a while.  Thank goodness...

...Wow, wouldn't you know it.  The very second I finish writing that sentence, Inod requests two black bronze items.  Simple enough... I order up two black bronze instruments, but suspend one.  The way I see it, the longer she's waiting for the order to be completed, the longer I get to wait to hear another silly demand.

"Well, Asob," I hear Bujit saying as they pass, "It's been a pleasure, but I must be on my way.  I've stayed far too long as it is."

"Oh, so soon?  It's as if you just got here!"  I don't know if Bujit can tell, but to me, Asob was clearly lying through her teeth.  I grin and walk over to them.

"Oh, but Bujit, can't you stay just for a few more moments?  We're about to unveil the mist project!"

"Well... I suppose I'm already so late, what's another few moments?  Is it ready now?"

"All we have to do is pull the lever!"

Asob looked horrified, and started waving her hands and shaking her head and mouthing 'No!' behind Bujit's back.  Oh, Asob. 
"Yes, that lever over there in the dining room will open the floodgate below." 

Asob mouthed the word 'Oh, that one!' and calmed down. 

"The pumps are already running, there's an emergency shut-down pressure plate below set to reseal the gate at a depth of five... it's all ready to go!"

"I've seen so much of its construction while I was here following Asob!  This is so exciting!"

((DFMA)) ((Movie)) I give the order to pull the lever and watch...

It's not as effective as I had hoped... Ideally, mist would be coming from the main floor, but unfortunately we have a stockpile overhead so the water can't be brought high enough.  There is plenty of mist on the second, third, and fourth floors, though it seems some small puddles are forming on the floors below.  I order the lever pulled again to stop the flow of water before the puddles become larger, but leave the pumps running.  I'm sure it will even itself out eventually, and the slight flooding will stop.

Fortunately, our guest Bujit doesn't seem to notice these flaws.  He appears absolutely astounded!

"What do you think?"  Asob asks Bujit.  She, too, seems to be ecstatic at the sight of the mist.

"The architecture of dwarves never ceases to amaze... something like this could never be accomplished in the grand halls of The Confederacies of Targeting.  There would be too much red tape and paperwork to approve something like this, not to mention the safety inspections!"

"Bah!  A few deaths make the project even more worthwhile.  It's a shame no one got killed in this one!"  It's now my turn to lie.  While this would normally be my point of view, last season brought more than enough death to the fortress... eleven dwarves in total, if my math is correct.

Bujit did that weird thing humans do where they grab your hand and shake it around to Asob and me in turn.  I don't see how they find this pleasant in the least, but I grin and bear it.  "Again on behalf of the Merchants' Guild, let me bid farewell to you and your stout dwarves."

Bujit departed.  Asob and I stand and admire the mist for a while longer, relishing the fruits of the labor that was put into it.  The mist generator will go a long way toward keeping the fort's denizens happy.

As we stand there, we're both shocked to see a very soggy Edzul Zonkegeth, Weaver, stand dripping before us.

"Zon, nothing to be totally panicked about yet, but there's a pretty sizable amount of water coming out of those grates in the wall..."

"Really??  Blast!  How much?"

"Um, it's starting to flood the lower levels..."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Where is all that water coming from??  I know we didn't let in that much!  Ugh... right down the new stairwells.  Ok, cancel the construction of the stairs below that level and take off the door near the bottomless pit.  The water is going to have to drain into there."

"But... isn't that door blocking the entrance of cave swallowmen?"

"Well, put up another wall grate!  And put some doors around that area to force the water into the pit.  It isn't too deep, so the doors should still be passable.  We'll set up a more permanent solution on the lower levels when we get down there."

"Doesn't that mean water will constantly be falling down those stairs...?"

"Look at yourselves!  You're all covered in mud and blood and vomit!  You stink!  You all need a shower anyway, and this is one way of accomplishing that."

Edzul hurries on to relay my orders.  Unfortunately, it seems the water is moving just fast enough to make the building sites for these new features too submerged to complete, so I'm forced to kill the gear powering the pump stack for now.  Since it's already off, we might as well forego the temporary drainage arrangements and work towards something more concrete.  What a shame... well, I'm sure it will still work once the excess water drains out. 

Part of the problem is the placement of the emergency pressure plate... it's behind the pumps, and never seems to reach a high level of water even though a lot is coming in, so because I relied on that we let too much water in.  Maybe if the reservoir drains enough, we can get someone in there to move it to a more appropriate location.

...Oh, for the love of... Now I see what happened!!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

That damn pressure plate went off and re-opened the floodgate after we shut it with the lever!  Augh!!  So stupid... well, OK, this definitely calls for a more robust drainage system, because we're going to see some definite flooding of those stairwells the next time we turn on those pumps.

[KenboCalrissian]

15th Opal, 206, Mid-Winter
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Spoiler (click to show/hide)

A drainage tunnel is dug just below the servants' quarters and right behind the mayor's office, and the pumps are turned back on.  A wall grate keeps the cave swallowmen from coming in, and another access route with dual doors leads to a large collection of cave spider webs.  Truth be told, it could have been done on the floor above the quarters, but I was serious about these workers needing showers.  I'll be the first to admit that I'm filthy, and I don't like it.

Fortunately, the pump draws water so quickly that only one to two Urists ever sit on that pressure plate at a time, and thankfully, it's right next to the door.  We have an opportunity to remove the plate!

At the same time, I notice the water has already regulated itself.  When we turned on the pumps, the water headed for the edge of that pit pretty quick, and then came to a stop.  Then, it took an entire month for the water to reach the edge of the pit, and then it very slowly began to trickle down the walls.  Looks like the workers don't need to worry much about those showers...

Finally, we constructed a pump near the wells for the blind peasant (and ex-marksdwarf) Imush.  He keeps falling unconscious everywhere in the middle of his tasks.  Archibold, showing a rare moment of compassion, suggested we build an exercise machine to help him build his stamina, and then maybe he wouldn't keep falling asleep everywhere.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lňr Olonměshos comes out of the leatherworking shop with a really nice looking leather buckler.  Now, this is the kind of artifact I need to see more of; the kind with a practical purpose, and especially one with a military purpose!  It even has a picture of The Mournful Plaits the low boot, as if the mere image of that platinum boot will grant the buckler extra protection.  Way to be... ugh... impractical, and maybe possibly a bit daft.

[skaltum]

gah water

[Pandarsenic]

Wrong spot.

While I'm editing this post though, I might as well add that I FREAKING LOVE this fortress. When will the next map of the whole thing be released?