14th Limestone, 206, Early Autumn
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To put the goblin mystery to rest, I decided to visit Dodók, the history expert/swordsdwarf/wrestler - or as he was now called by the dwarves on account of his five goblin kills plus a macaque, Dodók Oddommeb Olonilbĺd Uker, and by Bujit the human guild representative (who so boldly interrupted the siege with his demands for our shopping list), Dodók Cloisterinches the Geared Guile of Waving. He seemed to know quite a bit about goblins the last time I spoke to him, so maybe he could help me straighten things out here. I found him on our drawbridge, on his way inside for a drink.
"Dodók! We meet again."
"Meet? Huh... I see you every day, Zon! You have a funny way of meeting people!"
"Err... Yes, well, you know how it is."
"No, I don't."
"...No, that's... that just a figure of speech, Dodók. There's nothing really to know."
"Oh."
"Aaaanyway. I was hoping you could tell me more about The Released Sins. Mostly, I'm curious to know about the leaders who came to fight recently."
"Ah, yes. Their sieges officially came to be recognized by King Minkot as a war just last year in 205, known as Okuzo--"
"'The Angry Conflict,'" Bujit Quispeptamed, Human guild representative, so boldly butted in from out of nowhere. "'Tis a good name for a war."
You can tell a follower of Asën didn't think that one up, I wanted to say, but held my tongue. Chances are the name was the King's brilliant idea.
"This latest siege is known as Etosp Kudo--"
"The Siege of Growling!" Bujit literally bounced with glee. Dodók's hand moved toward his (Steel short sword)...
"Yes, Bujit, very good. Your teacher would be impressed that you have learned our language so well. But, if you would be so kind, I'd like very much to hear Dodók's story. Besides, shouldn't you be finishing those trade agreements with Asob?"
"Oh... well, I seem to have lost track of her. I'm told she makes frequent reports to you, so I thought I would follow
you until she comes by, and then we can finish those agreements."
"That's...
wonderful, Bujit. How very
smart of you. Isn't he
smart, Dodók?"
"Please, can I get on with my story?!"
"Of course! Who, again, were the leaders of The Released Sins?"
"This attack was lead by the goblin Song Ozautes Zospuzak Slaku, the axelord--"
"Song Roarspiders the... the... hrmm..."
"Umbral."
"Ah, yes! Roarspiders the Umbral Bar of Continents!"
"...
May I continue??" Dodók waited, but Bujit remained perfectly silent for several moments. "Good. Of course, as we all know because a
certain someone was shouting it loudly, Song bled to death after Archibold Bridgebolt the Equivalent Ram of Artifacts cut him down."
"Aw, you didn't say it in dwarven..."
"One more word, and I swear--"
"Ignore him, Dodók. Please, continue."
Dodók readjusted his scabbard and pressed on with his tale. "Grendus the dwarf was killed by the goblin Tode Witchfats, who was later defeated by none other than Archibold... Vabôk Lullpaddled the Craterous Machine of Citadels, one of our marksdwarves, killed five goblins this battle, but alas, he was struck down by the goblin Atu Hategulf."
"I know, I saw that part. What I'm curious of, most of all, is what happened to Song Ulatu Olngöraslost Snuna--"
"Song Glazedflies The Monstrous Counsellor of Fountains?"
"It's 'Fortunes...' So sorry, perhaps you should get a refund on those goblin language lessons?"
"Oh, him," Dodók continued, forcibly ignoring yet another interruption. "A dangerous axelord, but he held no special rank. He died ingloriously in the jaws of the war dog Monom Perplexedwhips - unfortunately, Monom was immediately after shot and killed by the goblin Smuntsu Demoncaught."
"Ah..." I was so sure that was the leader! I must have got one Song confused with another... What kind of a Legendary Clerk makes clerical errors?!
"Well, that settles that mystery..."
"By the by, Zon... Have you had a moment to count the dead? It seems we lost quite a few soldiers this time."
"Sorry, I'm afraid I haven't. There are a total of seventy-five corpses, including all dwarves, dogs, and goblins. It's a lot to sort through. Rest easy, though, Dodók. They'll all soon find their resting place in the crypts. At least we got one of their local leaders."
Dodók grinned. "Only one? I counted two."
"Hm? I know for a fact that Archibold killed Song Fiendfought, one of the two local leaders who came to this fight."
"Aye, and the very first goblin to fall in battle!
"But I was pretty sure Olngö Dospoem Tokxemösmlo Smaxa got away."
Dodók and I both waited for Bujit, who stood there, scratched his head, and shrugged.
"... The Old Perfection of Accidents?"
"I had
no idea on that one, sorry."
Dodók laughed. At me, not Bujit, who was lucky to still be alive after butting in so many times. "Well, well, who's that goblin I see over there in yonder puppy trap?"
"
No! Are you serious?"
"So! What should we do with the second of two goblin local leaders from The Released Sins?"