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[Fisherdwarf]

Here, post just about anything that you've seen in this game that you thought was funny.

Heres mine:
I'm rather new and haven't fought goblins yet, but I'm starting to train up a military. I made 2 steel shields and 2 steel plates and a couple weapon and got an immigrant wave right after. I drafted a few guys, set two to wrestling and gave them the steel armor because my other guy I made into a marksdwarf and didnt need it yet.
Anyway, when my wrestlers hit champion, I decided to check their stats.
One was no label in both armor and shield.
One was skilled shield but dabbling armor.
Confused, I check their inventories.
One dwarf was wearing one steel plate, and holding the other steel plate in his free hand.

It just like 2 shields!

[Foxbyte]

I remember the time I got an immigrant wave comprised of a single dwarf; you, actually. Remember that? The time you were traveling to Goldenshowers and you were wandering near the river... You weren't trying to go fishing outside and still got dragged under by a carp.

[Starvation]

Just a couple hours ago one of my engravers and her baby (while asleep in bed) spontaneously combusted and died.

[UndergroundTree]

I was trying to build a magma channel over a 10 x 2 ocean embark when one of my founders got wounded. (by camel! curse the beasts!) I was just about to put in the pumps and the magma ring to keep it in one spot when the tantrum spiral hit critical mass. At the same time I sent all peasants, lye makers, soapers, basically anyone I didn't have working on the massive pipeline to wage undwarfy war against the humped beasts.  None of them came back alive.

Also, being completely focused on only making the magma pumps I said "forget fresh water" and let the chaos begin.  One dwarf would go mad, injure 7 others, they would go thirsty, die, 2 dwarfs go mad...etc etc


It finally came down to I had to save a wood cutter that had dismantled a floor to lock himself in. After I saved him my remaining dorfs, two planters and three injured dorfs, knew nothing of what was to come. He tantrumed, raged, and murdered them all.


I was angry at the lost time, but laughed at how epic that was. When I re-embarked on the spot it put me on the edge of my magma pipe, but then when I tried to rebuild a part the entire thing collapsed and two z-levels of magicaly earth refilled (even being a giant skylight didn't stop it. Leaving only 1 dorf left. That was extremely amusing 

[Telcontar]

Was gonna make a new post for this, but it's short enough that I'll just stick it in here.

I look through legends a lot, and found this legendary warrior in a world I recently genned up:

Laro Mennose the Inconsiderate Bowels
racked up 72 kills - all elves in interminable war between his homeland and the tree huggers - in his 47 years of life. He was eventually struck down by an elf in yet another battle.

His nation has never been so happy and yet so sad to lose a warrior. Guess why!

[Magua]

Lord Mennose's wife was disgusted by a miasma recently.

[KaelGotDwarves]

I was at these human ruins as part of my no fast travel challenge in adventurer mode, when this elf guard showed up at my area. I damaged half of her body to red/yellow by beating her with with my mace, stripped her clothes in the freezing biome, gouged her eyes, and broke all her joints, and then left her there fading in and out of consciousness.

I walked off to refill my waterskin when I got the message that a wandering dwarf ranger (presumably at war with the elf civ) shot her to death.

[Tirin]

Thanks to a bug I had a legendary stuck in jail for the better part of a year. Vucar was my first mood of the fort, got legendary armoursmith out of it. Wanted to get him to +5 before he got to work outfitting the military, so he got put to work making copper leggings to be quickly re-melted. It was fine for a bit until he stopped making the leggings and I forgot to stop the melt orders. So eventually almost all his masterworks are melted and he's really upset about all the art defacement.
He wants to meet with my leader, but also did something to bring dwarf justice down on himself. He's locked up before he can meet, and from then on whenever he's in jail my leader's default thing is to sit in his room waiting for the meeting. I think the pairing of the meeting and jailing is what set off the problem.
See, when his sentence ends, he's happy to be free. So happy that he punches a puppy to death. Which earns him another sentence. Which makes him miserable because he's locked up. He expresses his joy at being released next time by breaking a door. Which lands him in jail. Again. And so it goes on and on.

I think the jailing/meeting mixup screwed up his orders, so he was doing after his release whatever he had been about to do when he was jailed. Whatever it was, it was fun. Even better was after I got it to stop, our repeat offender was eventually elected mayor himself.

And on a sweeter note, his artifact was a golden platemail, which eventually was worn by his champion wife. Very romantic for dwarves I thought. And they must be, given their 10 children.

And on a less sweet, more funny note. They had 11 children. There was a horse scaring haulers in my courtyard. I ordered the champion out to deal with it, but for some reason she wouldn't attack it. I tried fiddling with "chase/stay close to station" and "harass/ignore animals" to no avail. So I keep ordering her to stand right next to it, figure I can herd it out at least. Works initially, then all of a sudden the horse kicks her baby to death, after which she finally clobbers it.

[Grendus]

You know that bug that causes invaders who get sent flying with a hammer to get stuck in midair and not land. I've got it... on one of my dwarf soldiers. Apparently another wrestler threw him into the air while sparring and he got stuck. He's currently hovering in the middle of one of my barracks.

Every one of my crafter moods has been bonecarving and has happened to one of my existing bonecarvers. It's not as great as it sounds, I have so much magnetite I arm them with iron bolts. Makes processing a siege easy though.

A single dwarf just drove off the first goblin siege with a hammer modded to only do 1 damage. She suffered a broken arm, which healed while she was walking back to bed to rest.

I have two pieces of artifact furniture waiting for nobles. The baron will be getting a coffer, while the king has a native platinum armor rack. I also have a death tower if they're the type that likes to ban the export of totems, clothing, or metal goblets (my three largest exports, because stone crafting and cooking are boooooooooring).

[Jude]

Just a couple hours ago one of my engravers and her baby (while asleep in bed) spontaneously combusted and died.

Whoa.

Also, can I have the frog in your avatar?

[Blackburn]

I made the sheriff's bedroom, office, and dining room in the prison itself.

"Hey, convicts, I'm gonna eat my *Cat Meat Roast* and then take a nap in my +Pine bed+ so don't make any noise in your crappy wood cages, 'K?"


(Yes, I am lame.)

[Tradanbattlan]

My engraver recently made a masterwork engraving... right below where a cave in occured.
He went insane, and destroyed 3 masterwork windows.
This causes the dwarf who made them to go insane and toss her baby into magma.
This draws the attention of the nearby SOF, who burns everything.
Exept for the dwarf who caused the cave-in who is unconcious in his room.

[Doomshifter]

Just a couple hours ago one of my engravers and her baby (while asleep in bed) spontaneously combusted and died.

Whoa.

Also, can I have the frog in your avatar?

I think that Starvation's frog is actually the hypno-toads lesser known cousin, focus-frog. You will focus on the frog till you can no longer do anything else. Almost every thread that Starvation posts in, someone comments about his frog. It's awesome.

The frog is awesome too.

[Satarus]

I was playing a succession game.  Baron came and I had my engraver engrave his room so it would meet his requirements.  Halfway through his office I noticed it had a few engravings of flies.  The baron hates flies.  I think my engraver was trying to antagonize the baron because that was the only place I saw engravings of flies in the whole fort.

[Roland]

I had just gotten the countess to be knocked unconcious on top of some nice spike traps. I give an order for the lever to be pulled, and the first person to respond is the philosopher. Her husband beat the crap out of him in a tantrum, and I guess he never forgave her.