I've had that belief in mind since about 5th grade. I'm surprised people find this amazing.
You obviously had a terrible 5th grade. Because I can't think of any reason to have that notion in mind other than your classmates constantly trying to shank you.
So to put it, by 7th grade, everyone was so much of a dick, I decided to be home schooled until 11th grade. It's amazing it took until adulthood for me to actually commit to my recent personalty.
Basically, I reset all standings I have with everyone, and let them re-earn their position with me. One of the best moves I've done. Tons of weight off my head. There is a occasional curiosity of what's going on with them nowadays.
Ever have old friends that
remember you by one stupid thing you've done in the past, regardless all the awesome stuff they've witnessed you do? That describes everyone I knew in school. Anytime I run into them once in awhile, they always describe me, to people they know, by that stupid incident, more than the fact that I was smarter with computers than everyone else back then or something like that. I mean, I knew how to operate DOS and Windows in 1st grade for crying out loud! :facepalm:
Made me sad: Was up until 4AM and woke up at noon, there's nothing to eat around the house and I'm fatigued and starving, and what was supposed to be a regular Christmas decoration removal/moving boxes, turned into a couple hours of cleaning up the garage instead; and nearly getting a hernia moving some furniture to the garbage pile.
Add insult to injury; I was actually rather pleasant when I started despite waking up at noon. I saw this fucking coming since returning home after seeing Avatar. I hate when my instincts bull's-eye.
Now I'm too hungry, angry, a tad lonely, and tired to work on the Bloodfist today, including trying to post last night's work on it. As the lame-ass acronym puts it, I should HALT before going any further with my day. Fuck it; overworking myself beyond my limits for hours on end is the only way I can get anything I want gorram done.
I really should not plan for anything E-V-E-R. Yet another planning to work on Bloodfist all week, and-- fuck it, I might as well remain bent over for life. Any which way, I always get screwed over by everyone else's wants. THIS is why I hate being nice. It's a gorram obligation, I've been too deep in being so. And again, I have yet to receive my reward in life for the effort.
I've been feeling expendable all week. I have to deny having any plans because the plans I usually have is enough to make everyone make plans to prevent my plans. Reason: it involves using my computer, and because it involves the computer, it's 100% guaranteed I'm wasting my life playing games, and doing nothing about it. I'm freaking stereotyped as the gamer that plays games 24/7, and not making any progress, or making any effort, by my own family. Basically, my time is worthless to everyone; even if I'm actually working towards making progress with my life (which I DID have plans for as well, but who gives a fuck about what I need/want to do.).
Because it looks like I'm doing nothing, doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. A concept always ignored.