Got back from my sister's and saw my new niece. It was nice, but here's a recent bummer that came from it.
I freaking saw it coming from a month away at least (before her birth). I am given the honor of being a godfather; but if I am to agree to it, I have to change plenty of things about myself (ranging from being entirely social, getting a full-on career (which I have no intention of having right now) to wiping my computer clean of games. Yeah, fucking right. Essentially, having direction in my life. I've been doing fine without one. So far, nothing's missing, aside a relationship, and a financial miracle (IE- job market restabilizes)). I accept, then there goes a year's worth of self-improvement to make myself better for myself, and others (the manner of which, which makes it undone, is trying to explain it.). I agree, then it means therapy, and working my ass off, to work my ass off, and then go to therapy to recover. I reject, then I break her heart (considering we've practically been buddies most of our lives), as well, everyone's calls for me to get therapy will come into fruition by more force.
I spent at least an hour explaining that my methods of self-improvement, though unconventional, have worked and etc. (Including my personality that I count on failure more than success, and I try to explain that it's actually a positive trait due to double-negativity. I plan for failure, on a plan that I know will fail; doubling-over it and converting it into success sans-pyrrhic victory. It was still looked upon as absolutely negative. If I were to be a proper godfather, I am to be a positive person. Good fucking luck on that one.), only to have it brushed off and ignored, and what I sense to be a week-long ultimatum to make a choice before the christening. ...Yeah, how do you describe lose-lose? Thank goodness I have a talent for pulling positive odds out my ass under these kinds of situations. But this is a real challenge.
This just sucks. I mean, just recently (since New Year's) I analyzed my results of my self-improvement resolution and all that. For the crap I had to deal with 2 years ago; I was in ruins; all last year was recovery and self-therapy to recover myself (credit to you guys for the additional help). What it was looked at was me throwing my life away. I hide a hell of alot away from everyone for good reason. I like to surprise people for one, but also I do more than I let out. So to put it: If I'm doing nothing, I'm up to something; if I'm doing a whole lot, I'm actually doing nothing (IE- wasting or passing time).
What bugs me is, why is there always an intervention or some sort of confrontation with me about stupid crap (which I can defend myself with evidence of some sort) before I have everything figured out in a way I CAN explain, and prove works (Think Ghostbusters, and how they put up with the government about their busting operations anytime they're arrested)? I mean; I'm never given the benefit of a doubt when I can write full-on essays explaining and proving my point and everything (that level of detail). I understand their concerns; but I'm almost 25 and I am damn well aware of my situations, how I look in accordance to society, and any other concern regarding or relating to me. I'm being paranoid FOR them; and it's being dismissed as a form of craziness. Like I always say, I don't do anything without reason, unless I am bored out of my skull. Nothing I do goes to waste. Not one bit. Even crap that's ages old still has life to them.
This crap always happens, like always being interrupted to do something or argue about something stupid DURING THE FREAKING CLIMAX OF ANYTHING!!!! The best part of a show, movie, or game; everything is going epically, the final shot to make the whole show damn worth the hours you spent watching it all about to-- WHAT NOW?!?!! (arguement/task) Credit roll. FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--
Despite it being a good visit; I fucking hate being "dealt with" (IE- these stupid-ass talks that are broken records to crap I already fucking know; sometimes ending in tears (from their end; I however, am bored by the n-th time I heard the same exact script)). Why is therapy always 'the answer'? That's such a cop-out. If I can do self-therapy, and confirm it's progress in multiple ways in ridiculous detail; why dismiss all my claims? I'm one of the more rational people that actually learn from their mistakes in my family.
Is it me, or is my lack of a quarter-life crisis a concern to everyone? I'm not worrying about my life, so everybody has to? I'm "the crazy one" and I'm saying they're nuts. That doesn't look right.
Excuse that rant, but that's not the first time that has happened. All key points of my life was the same exact fucking thing, and I am thoroughly bored of it. If they worry about my happiness and well-being, then why won't they just trust in me for once in what I am doing (which I am confident works; despite it being out of the norm of doing things)? I may be unconventional, and follow the less-traveled road (and have a more laid-back way of doing things), but I do have a common goal, and I am aware of the limits and rules to follow. What I don't understand is why they don't see it, even though I have presented it countless times?
Mind you, everyone in my family is pretty smart; but this just bothers me beyond all reason. WE'RE FREAKING SMARTER THAN THIS! At least, I'm aware of it. Why aren't they?
Add to it. It seems my younger sister's dog thought it was a good idea to whiz under my desk. I cleaned up the mess, but it still smells bad. Faint, but still bad, and there. Turns out my chair also caught traces of the mess as well.
Not too happy about that. And after the good treatment I gave it recently too. I mean, my cats are more well behaved than that, and they're all over my room most the time.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9797967 times)