I said a very bad thing to a very good friend because I was too stressed out to say anything right and caused another good friend to be angry and disappointed in me all because I just wanted to help another friend with something and now I just messed everything up and I'm probably gonna just loose all of them as friends... ;.;
I just wanna die. But I can't even reach my guns to do that,
Suicide, in case you're serious, is not a good answer. Not only is it a coward's way out (no offense), but it also has a decent margin for error. If you live through the attempt, life would just suck much worse than previously. By logical analysis, it's not worth it; and then if Heaven and God really does exist, have fun explaining it to them afterward.
As for the issue at hand, if they return and forgive your outburst, they're still worthy friends, other than that, try to explain that you were stressed out and they caught you at a bad time. I don't really have anything else to say that can further improve the situation. I already disowned most, if not, all of my friends. Lack of contact does that; plus, I enjoy my solitude. And again, no offense, I tend to enjoy feeling grateful for having solitude when I see others have hard times with their friends. Reminds me that my sacrifice of social contact has kept me at peace.
And as contribution for something that sucks; I'm working tonight. Fortunately, I close at 8, but still, New Year's partiers will be ordering like mad, so I might end up clocking out 30 minutes past closing time, as usual it's turning out. More cash, yes, but everyone's schedules suffer when this crap happens; which in turn, also affects my future schedules. Stupid fixed time schedules.
Well Sof, just take it easy. They'll forgive you. They won't be proper friends if they can't.