I think the minoxidil had minimal overall effect. A bit of darkening and that's it.
The alternatives now are oral minoxidil, which is going to cause more body and facial hair, both of which I want to avoid, and a transplant, which is expensive.
Looks like I'll be searching for wigs. The thing I didn't want.
My partner is a woman who's an aficionado with wigs, as she loves to experiment with her natural hair and in addition to cosplaying just prefers to wear wigs in general a lot of the time. A good one should run you about 50-80 dollars, and to my understanding if you care for them the same way you would natural hair it's literally impossible to tell
My partner has a shockingly pink and floofy head of hair that doesn't like to be styled (it's beautiful), but she prefers to wear a daily driver wig that is straight black and goes down to her waist and it looks just as lovely. I think if you'd like a way to rock some girlier hair, that would be a good way to do it!~
I'd posit that your trust should begin and end with her. If you've agreed you're in a relationship, and other flames keep texting her despite her saying not to, but she doesn't block them, then that is something to talk about. If you're clear about what you need to see (and yes, presenting demands in a relationship can be reasonable given the context) and she's not doing it, then you have a problem. Fucko is going to be Fucko regardless of what she says or does. All she can do is affirm what she says she wants by taking action....i.e. blocking someone who won't take the fucking hint, because it's the right thing to do by everyone: her, you and him. No one is served well by keeping open connections that they chose not to pursue. No one should accept being the side guy/side girl/fall back emotional validation. We all deserve more than that. Even Fucko.
It's very funny you say that about fucko, because I basically laid out this exact boundary before we called it for the night and I hopped on to check bay12. It's going to have to be addressed but I'm hopeful for the future
I might add "We all deserve more than that, even Fucko" to my signature XD
Hah, thanks. I'm level-headed when attempting to tell other people their business 
Most people who know me in real life would not describe me as level-headed. I'm a passionate individual who feels things intensely and deconstructs them intellectually afterward. That's why I write so much: it helps me process things in a reasonable, level-headed way. But that doesn't make me level-headed. It's way easier to seem reasonable talking about someone else's life than it is to approach one's own life reasonably. But one cannot see the full scope of the storm from within the eye. It takes someone outside of it to see that.
My friend I don't really know if anyone can! I am beyond grateful to my friends irl and my "pen pals" on here who have listened to my problems and helped me understand my own blind spots, because if it wasn't for that I would be a completely unrecognizable person. You and several other vets on this forum are on that list
I'm at work for another week then I'm taking a legit 10 days off to go see family and spend some time on a beach. I'm hoping that refills my tanks. I'm also exhausted and dipping in and out of inner turmoil about relationships or the lack thereof. My focus has been shot for over a year now and I can see it in how I'm working and how I'm not processing things with the clarity I used to. So much of my mental energy is still tied up in things I can't do anything about and should have let go of, if only they'd actually let go of me.....I'm a little tired of myself, tbh, and the cyclical nature of my thoughts, disappointments and anxieties. So I'm hoping a total change of scenery and breaking out of my norms for a few days really helps. (Also, possibly getting some high quality sleep for once.)
Going to the beach and spending time with family is quite literally the best medicine for me when I find myself stuck in a pattern or rotating old thoughts or traumas in my head. Hey, and other people on vacation are a lot more libertine too! It's nice to be able to get drunk, make a lot of friends that don't really have a lot of expectations, and maybe even find the same with someone you can spend some alone time with
Intimacy stuff can be really hard to unpack through no fault of one's own, and it's okay if that takes time. I've had anxiety attacks just from people implying or offering to send risque stuff digitally for reasons I'm still unsure about, even though ideologically I'm totally okay with it (and there's a conversation to be had here about consent and boundaries, but the latest time it happened I was consenting to being uncomfortable, so). Remember to give yourself grace and patience, America has a horribly convoluted relationship with nudity and intimacy (including the horribly TERFy idea that men are opportunists that just want sex and are dangerous for it- this one is particularly insidious!) and, even in supportive, healthy company, it can be difficult to shake the phantasms of one's upbringing or sociocultural credence. That baggage can be heavy.
It's also okay to want something casual or committed, as much as it's okay to be in a place about either of them. I'm mentally unwell. I'm not in a place where I can commit to a relationship with all the bells and whistles; what I'd like more than anything is to get stoned, get canoodly, and get cuddly while watching something insignificant, like GDQ speedruns. I'm also bad at both seeking that out (or knowing how to ask, really), and quashing my insecurities about jumping to that kind of relationship. That doesn't make me less for being or wanting that sort of intimacy, and it doesn't diminish my capability to give and connect in a proper relationship. This is just where I'm at for now, and is what I feel I need. It's not a judge of character to have needs, and those needs can be loud if they're not managed. There are no such thing as thought crimes, you are what you do about it, right? It reads like you've got a pretty good base to work from, so may your healing be swift.
It's really hard to find somebody outside of a committed relationship that's willing to help with intimacy issues like that! As you might have gathered I haven't had the best track record when I was looking for casual sex, but what I
did find was a lot of people who like to dance sing have fun and maybe even share a brief kiss with a stranger they just met that night, if they're confident enough that the other person isn't coming in with loaded expectations. It's not really connected enough to be intimate, but in a way that can help with the nerves if that kind of hot and heavy contact makes you anxious. The type of thing where you can dance with somebody and feel that contact and explore how it makes you feel, and dip out if you start feeling uncomfortable with mostly no consequences. If you can believe it I was wound into an even tighter gay little protestant knot before I explored that kind of thing, and it really really helped, way more so than me trying to find romantic relationships in my tiny ass hometown and explore things that way. Maybe don't do what I did and start chasing down those feelings, because you'll end up disappointed more often than not when the other person doesn't like the idea of moving onto sex from there. That could also just be my own experiences coloring that opinion XD
Sorry, I guess I'm springboarding off of your posts a little bit. I'm mentally unwell. It's weirdly palpable once you're in the thick of it, y'know? There's a lot I need. There's a lot I need to do for my health. There's a lot I need to do for my future. There's a lot I need to do at work.
There's a lot I just don't have the capacity to do in respect to any of that, despite knowing that it would improve my mental health. That's frustrating. There's bits I can pick at, and that'll have to be enough.
I'm tired. I don't need a mental health day, I need a mental health month. A mental health eternity sounds too much like ideation. I'm hopeful, just very, very burnt out.
I have been in the same situation! I dropped out of college because I had too many things I
needed to do and not enough me to do it. The end result of that was me just taking on as much work as physically possible until I reached a point where I had to leave home or else i was going to flip out! And even though I saved up money pushing myself like that, I was back to square one after three months in atlanta with no job and two financially irresponsible roommates, who then ground down my ability to do any basic cleaning or self care tasks. It took a while for me to get my head straight; the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to start breaking down tasks into more manageable pieces, and instead of trying to do what you can in big spurts when you have the energy, try to do as much daily work on that goal as you can keep up for the forseeable future. This can be tough because it can be hard to tell what your own capacity for these things is when you're in the middle of it, so it's going to take trial and error to figure out what works consistently. If you're over capacity mentally with your current goals, then all taking a mental health day/month/year is going to do is put you back in the exact same position once you try and take on that load again after it put you in that spot to begin with. After about two years of breaking down my goals into more manageable pieces, I've gotten to a point where I have a job I like (after two years of dogshit jobs lol) and I'm able to take care of my home and my self care consistently while having enough spoons left over to maintain relationships with the ppl I keep close.
So, I'd suggest taking one of the three and focusing on that. (As an aside somebody check me if this sounds dumb this is just what I feel works). If you don't have the money to focus on your health and plan for your future, then spend your spoons looking for a job that pays well enough to support those two needs while leaving you with the mental energy to work on the other two. If your health is too bad physically or mentally but you are decently set with a job and you have a sound future plan, then spend your spoons on self care. If you find yourself wondering why you're even trying with your health and with work, then put a little less effort into both and use your leftover spoons to think about something you can build to in the future that makes you happy. And if all three are pressing down and you find yourself scrambling to find the spoons to stay alive, then reach out and do so fucking
lethally. Say fuck it to all three goals! You are running on a clock right now until you run out of spoons to dig yourself out of this state. Spend your spoons applying to government aid programs you are eligible for, go to food banks to save money on groceries, go to religious organizations and lie intelligently about your religious affiliation to get whatever charitible aid they give out, reach out to family and friends if you have any that are on good terms and get the help from them that they're willing to give and that won't piss them off if they have to provide it for as long as it takes to get stable (use those words exactly when you ask if you have to).
Shit, legitimately start committing non violent crimes in minecraft if you have to! The emeralds that come from trading redstone are just as green as the emeralds you'd get elsewhere! I would say this is an emergency red button option as the type of villagers that like to trade redstone can be a real tough crowd, however, and sometimes admins can be real dicks completely out of nowhere; additionally if you sink into the redstone trade it can be even harder to get out unless you play the game intelligently, because these villagers only know how to trade redstone and they don't like seeing people moving on from that life. Play on an alternate account and don't ever ever tell them your main or any other identifying information, classic internet safety. Fuck it man if you're a Steve that's Like That and you wanna run up on some Illagers and Witches for the emeralds then pick your targets well and execute intelligently, the only thing you're justifying yourself to is your own moral framework and God. It goes without saying that this should be a last resort, because one small slip up on your pillaging run and you might not ever log off of that kind of server, you feel me? DM me for more Minecraft tips tricks and FAQs.
The point is your life is worth something and you should protect it and nurture it through any means you're ethically willing to use. It would be a loss to the world if that weight crushed you before your potential is realized, and I for one wouldn't want that to happen. You've been told to be selfless decent genteel and respectable by a world that wants to giving tree the fucking life out of every human on the planet, so it's time to be selfish my friend
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9378309 times)