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[Magmacube_tr]

Be prepared to be alone for the rest of your life. Learn to be ok being alone for the rest of your life.

wow ok

Jokes aside. Thanks. I guess I get it.

[nenjin]

Be prepared to be alone for the rest of your life. Learn to be ok being alone for the rest of your life.

wow ok

Jokes aside. Thanks. I guess I get it.

If the alternative of constantly wondering when/or if you're likeable enough is preferable you're free to do that too. A bad relationship is worse than being alone though.

[Great Order]

My thoughts are spiraling on how my love life is going. Or the fact that there isn't one, and never has been one.

The hopeless romantic in me just wants to be loved and to love. To find someone. I am quite surprised how intense this yearning gets sometimes. I am not someone who feels intensely very often (surprising, I know). I am 20 though, so it might be just the instincts instead of anything really profound.

But the logical part of me quietly points out that this theoretical lover won't fall from the ceiling and into my arms. It says that the chances of me even mustering up the emotional energy to form a crush are slim at best. Chances of me actually acting on it, improbable. And me managing to not completely ruin it by being my autistic self in that epsilon chance of those two previous prerequisites being fulfilled? Impossible. I might as well wait for them to actually fall from the ceiling.

And then the paranoia kicks in. What if I am just... fundamentally unlovable? What if my qualities are just... undesirable? Or just straight up unacceptable?

Logical me supplies that there is no reason for me to think this way. That this is something everyone else also feels, and that it isn't the end of the world. Maybe this is just normal for neurodivergent young adults? Or for all young adults to varying degrees? I am not a teenager; I know my problems are uncommon, not unique.

But I can't shake the feeling.

I'm on the approach to 30 and I've never been in a relationship. I get the yearning, I really do. A lot of what I read here sounded intimately familiar.

But there's no such thing as someone who's unlovable. People who have the morals of a cat have found love, after all.

Personally I've come to realise that as nice as a relationship would be, I'm also living a perfectly good and happy life without being in one.

They aren't necessary, and trust me, you can find happiness without them just as easily as you could within them.

[Frumple]

Heh. I'm nearing 40, and the thing that's really started to get noticeable is that happiness without one... it's definitely possible, but easily? As your body slows down and breaks down, if you don't have some kind of pretty damn close relationship with someone, shit actually starts to get increasingly hard, and especially if you're not pretty fucking wealthy. It's damn rough, tbh, and just kind of compounds whatever other issues may have existed.

It's more about mutual support than anything to do with romantic love or relationships in that general region, but, well... most cultures that's the only way you find that kind of support, family of some sort. Stuff more distant than lovers or parents/children rarely seems to cut it, not that even those relationships are any sort of guarantee.

It's kinda' the rub, really. If you don't have someone that really cares about you, well. You don't have anyone that really cares about you. Y'know?

And if there's a society that's supportive towards folks like that, I don't know of it

[dragdeler]

Oh god, it's not the right people breeding, it's not even funny. The selection of people who wrote about this only convinces me that I barely made the cut, in terms of being dumb enough to get lucky. It's much the same with many people I know IRL. Well it did taper off a little but 5 years ago I could have introduced a girl to a true selection of husband material... If I count down who I know there is at least one remaining where I am puzzled, the others I might not be so quick to suggest as an underated option tbf lol.


I mostly don't like to be reminded it exists. I fare better with less people taking up real estate in my head, and besides I doubt I could be able revive the magic of being in your early 20's being mad in love, and basically going out with big cliques every weekend. I thought I was kinda late but actually it was the perfect timing. Also I still have too much stuff to get done, before I could even consider dedicating time to anything but projects that mean something to me. I wasted months since I'm unemployed because I was fearfull to make my ears worse, not only lost musclemass but weight alltogether, because of a stupid fungal infection that I couldn't affect with all that precaution anyway. Like today I thought I'quickly solder a few bits in like 90 minutes or so, and spend the rest of the day sealing with silicone, only to finish nothing but the solder part after 8 hours.

I need to fucking finish sonething once in a way that I can be proud of, it's insane how much my self-worth has come to hinge on that, but I guess that is exactly the kind of staying hungry, that makes this community interesting in the first place lol. God I'm such an idiot, the other day I didn't pay attentionand put a 18650 the wrong way in a diy power bank I had been using for years... Let me tell you I'm not surewhen's the last time I felt such terror, It went white and I got a good huff of steel/nickel vapors, luckily it failed the spring and contact was allready interrupted by the time I managed to run outside. All things considered I'm very lucky it happened to that battery, teaching me to mark out the poles hyper visibly imagine if that happened to of the servicable batteries I invested hundreds of hours of work into at this point, and that I'm basically making my whole self perception hinge on, before I'd even consider seeking the normal kind of validation one hopes to obtain from a romantic relationship.

[bloop_bleep]

Be prepared to be alone for the rest of your life. Learn to be ok being alone for the rest of your life.

wow ok

Jokes aside. Thanks. I guess I get it.

From what I remember nenjin has a particularly cynical or bitter outlook on romance, possibly due to fresh wounds, so you want to keep that in mind reading his stuff. =P

[dragdeler]

Fcol body, you can not only ever feel tired at either 16 or 19 o'clock.What the useless clownshit could I do at 6am, those hours of the day are completly haram. Freaking listen to the birds as if life was worth a shit before 10am or what, JFL. But we both know it wouldn't come to that bc I'd wake up at midnight and be unable to fall asleep again. How about feeling tired between midnight and 2, why the fuck not. Yes I love the night but we are both suffering here. We can not pull off this shit in "summer".


Summer solstice is calendaric summer begin right, freakin weird, 2 weeks into june wouldn't technically be summer even tho you hardly get less darkhours than that. Don't even dare to cover my eyes well bc the ears need to aerate.

[nenjin]

Be prepared to be alone for the rest of your life. Learn to be ok being alone for the rest of your life.

wow ok

Jokes aside. Thanks. I guess I get it.

From what I remember nenjin has a particularly cynical or bitter outlook on romance, possibly due to fresh wounds, so you want to keep that in mind reading his stuff. =P

If by fresh wounds you mean two years worth of online and actual dating, then yes.

[McTraveller]

I feel... something today.

I need new semiformal shoes (for work, nice occasions, etc.).  Over the past 20 years, the size of my feet has remained constant.  The label for the size, however, has dropped by 3 numerical values (in the stupid US system) and is now in the "youth boys" size range, rather than men's.

This means that I basically have zero selection for shoes, because even when a store has shoes my size in stock, they have about two options and I have to suffer by trying on shoes in the kids' section. And no, sorry, shoes are not something I'm going to buy online...there's no way to tell how they'd fit or really look, and I'd end up having to return probably a dozen pairs before finding one.

WTF society... yes I know that general physiological trends are changing, but I'm in like the 20th percentile of height.. for my age you'd think that with 20% of the population my age needing shoes, I'd have a reasonable selection of clothing.

I mean stores have entire Big & Tall sections... why can't we have "low percentile" sections, with some dignity!?

[nenjin]

I've taken two days off of work sick even though I know I shouldn't have.

Sunday night I ate way too much garbage and knew I was probably going to be hurting on Monday. Which I was. That felt pretty legitimate even though it was self-inflicted.

Monday I had a lot of tummy issues and didn't eat anything all day. Which is pretty normal for me after I over do it.

Today though....it was just ennui. Truth be told I am burnt out and have been working in overdrive mode for months and months. It's being acknowledged and is slated to be rewarded. That said....

Oof the work is already piling up. My team definitely could have used the help today. But my position is, if you're sick, you're sick. I don't ask people to reconsider their sick days unless it's absolutely critical they handle it, and I take the same for myself.

Still, feeling like a piece of shit right now. Especially because when I take these mental health days, I never make good use of them. Owing to oversleeping, under-eating and just generally feeling like hot garbo even though there's nothing actually wrong with me.

(That said work did give us an extra week of sick time for the year, specifically for mental health, soooooooo......)

[Funk]

Sadly the First Doctor Who Compaion Ian Chesterton has left us as William Russell Enoch has died as the age of 99.

He had a long career, everdent as he got the Guinness World Record for the longest gap between TV appearances at 57 years.
(less everdent is that he was ment to be in the 1983 story Mawdryn Undead and 1983 story the five doctors has a cameo)

[nenjin]

Wow, you know what's good for ennui?

Being stupidly busy. Too busy for feelins!

[Frumple]

whoo lordy approximately everybody dealing with burnout wished that was true ahaha

[Magmacube_tr]

I am getting a summer job. And that horrifies me.

I... I think I want to do a job. I want to be independent, even if just for a summer. I am not doing it because I need  the money. I am doing it to start flying out of the nest. I will never be able to do it otherwise. Otherwise, I'll end up like them...

You know? Those basement dwelling 4channers that never amount to anything, or those neo-nazis. Those people. Sometimes, when I look at them... I see myself, in a reality where things went just a tiny bit differently. And that scares me. And knowing that those peoples present can be my future if I just let go... It is horrifying.

Every single instinct of mine is telling me to just go home and forget about it. I crave routine. I crave the predictable. It's my nature. And not like much will happen if I do that. My dad will be dissapointed, but accepting, and my mom will celebrate, since she didn't want me away from home. But I know it isn't that simple... I can't grasp how, but it isn't. I know what might gradually become of me due to inertia. But the finer details escape me.

[nenjin]

You'll learn a lot about yourself. That's the most valuable part of the experience. So I would do it. The best advice I can offer you is: invest in being present with what you're doing. Find the fun or at least the interest in whatever job you're doing. I've done various things from McDonalds to working at a food bank to cleaning Hyena cages to tech support for million dollar businsses. Each job had something about it I found to like. Either being busy or meeting/helping people or doing novel things. Those are the things that make jobs bearable. The pay and the responsibility only takes you so far.