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[Frumple]

Well, no, he's apparently already taking the trip to the country in question? More saying swing by if you're in the borders, and from what I understand of most of europe that's a hell of a lot more reasonable of a proposition than it would be stateside, heh.

[TD1]

So, it'd require an additional flight. Judging by current prices it'd cost about £76 extra plus an hour-long trip to hop down to Munich for my scheduled plan. Which is doable - though also not trivial.

And she's coming here in the summer, albeit not necessarily to see me - perhaps as more of a nostalgia thing with our mutual friends. And probably a camping/hiking trip with me down Donegal direction.

This is feeling a lot like a long-distance relationship atm. She texts every day, there are now multiple plans to meet up over the year. Yeah.

I'm in a slightly better headspace about it now, though. So I'm hoping that trend continues until it's all 100% fine ahah.

[hector13]

It shouldn’t harm things to ask for clarification on the long-distance relationship thing, at least if you want to take things in that direction.

[TD1]

She said it wasn't long-distance before she left. I suspect she's feeling shaken now she's back home and is latching on to me. I might ask for clarification if it continues long term.

[Great Order]

Seems like I need to go back on antidepressants for my anxiety again.

Sleeping is bloody hard, I lie down and shut my eyes and my heart starts thudding and I'm breathing heavily, which itself gives me anxiety. The expectation that this'll happen also gives me anxiety, so it's all feeding back into itself. I need to spend half an hour to a full hour reading, watching something, whatever to get my brain calm enough to actually sleep.

At least I know for a fact this is all anxiety unlike last time where I was sure my heart was doing something bad, not helped by probably psychosomatic heart pain.

Might just have to live with this for the rest of my life. Borderline cyclical anxiety, get anxiolytics, taper after a few months, spend half a year-ish without any, then get back onto them.

[Loud Whispers]

Waiting an hour to go to sleep is normal, but if you feel anything dodgy with the heart it's worth going to your GP and getting a checkup just to make sure that nothing dodgy's going on in an ECG. A lot of time stuff like heartbeat irregularities or heart pains can be a sign of something else that you'll want to spot early, as anything spotted early is easier to treat. Also don't beat yourself up on using anxiety meds on a cycle, it's on the same level as going on and off blood pressure meds or asthma inhalers. Important thing is just whatever helps you manage your health is a useful tool, so don't deprive yourself of useful tools

[scriver]

There are antidepressants and anti-anxity medicine that also have sleepifying effects. I know changing medication is very tiresome, but maybe it's something to talk about your doctor to?

[hector13]

The problem with those is that going off them gives you horrible insomnia, and they usually have other side-effects too.

I know Mirtazapine also can make you hungry so you tend to put on weight with that one.

[Great Order]

There are antidepressants and anti-anxity medicine that also have sleepifying effects. I know changing medication is very tiresome, but maybe it's something to talk about your doctor to?

Oh yeah, I was thinking about asking for mirtazipine, after the first week where I feel like a corpse after sleeping 16 hours it turns into a mild sleep aid.

Waiting an hour to go to sleep is normal, but if you feel anything dodgy with the heart it's worth going to your GP and getting a checkup just to make sure that nothing dodgy's going on in an ECG. A lot of time stuff like heartbeat irregularities or heart pains can be a sign of something else that you'll want to spot early, as anything spotted early is easier to treat. Also don't beat yourself up on using anxiety meds on a cycle, it's on the same level as going on and off blood pressure meds or asthma inhalers. Important thing is just whatever helps you manage your health is a useful tool, so don't deprive yourself of useful tools

I did that last time, didn't believe it was the anxiety. Whaddya know, a few weeks after getting on the citalopram I'm no longer having any sort of heart issues.

Honestly, I don't like being on anxiolytics because it's a pain in the arse, they tend to blunt my emotions and coming off of them sucks.

[TD1]

I'm gonna stop giving step-by-step updates on the German situation because it seems to be settling into a routine. So, one final update:

Yesterday she called me to discuss her doctor's appointment. She texted about her friends/what she was doing throughout the day.

Today she's sending me videos from her kayaking trip.

......... this is either me being an interactive diary or a long-distance relationship fml.

[martinuzz]

Whatever you do, do not mention the war.

[TD1]

She lives less than an hour from your borders, martinuzz. I'd be careful in case she hears you mentioning the war.

[Loud Whispers]

Don't get your panzers in a twist, and DON'T MENTION THE WAR

[King Zultan]

If we don't hear from TD1 in a few days we can safely assume that he did mention the war.

[scriver]

He might have mentioned it once but I think he got away with it