Finally a moment to lay down for a bit...
Grandmother not likely to be alive by the end of the week. Doctor has ethical/liability duty to keep her alive/under observation for a while longer, but as near as they can tell she started having strokes early yesterday morning and has been continuing since, more than one or two. Her vital signs were actually doing better when the doc sent the folks that were at the hospital to get some rest, but her brain is basically fucked. Even if she survives for more than another day or two, if she ever comes to it would be with significant brain damage, almost certainly would never leave the hospital again for whatever extra time she had. Last folks were there she was fully intubated/vented and regularly having seizures.
Grandfather is... I don't know. He's clearly worried, more distracted, weaker/shakier than usual, but it's relatively low key and I don't think he really has it left in him to understand what "stroke and in ICU" meant when family let him know more about what was going on. His siblings died in the last year or two, his wife's basically the only person around his age he had left. He hasn't seen her since she was tubed (did the night before everything went entirely to shit, at least), it's questionable whether he will or not... she was pretty clear in the past she just didn't want to be seen like that, especially by him.
Personally, I just... want basically nothing more than to curl up under a blanket and not move for like a month. Shit's been getting increasingly worse in general life and my health for like the last month or two, pointed and growing anxiety/stress symptoms, and now this on top of everything else. Been trying to hold it at least a little together throughout the day 'cause I'm basically the one keeping at eye on the husband while everything's going on at the hospital, trying not to worry him more. Every week or so feels like I'm pushing things closer to "dead by heart attack or stroke before 40" instead of my apparently optimistic previous estimation of something killing me before 60. I haven't been healthy enough for all this for years, and I'm so, so tired, even while being fucked up enough I never feel like I'm actually managing anything worth a damn, just burning myself from both ends to try to make things less bad. So tired, and it hurts too much to sleep.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9777146 times)