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Author Topic: Things that made you sad today thread.  (Read 9723960 times)

hector13

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120825 on: July 09, 2022, 09:52:56 am »

+1 on the ending the relationship stuff. It’s hard to make the decision, it’ll suck doing the decision, and your brain will remember the good stuff you’re losing, but it’s the right decision.
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dragdeler

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120826 on: July 09, 2022, 08:57:52 pm »

Oh. If he is conscious not all is lost... In that case he might still be a threat too... Locking yourself in your room is your safest bet, unless you feel that ain't gonna cut it, then walk to the police station tonight, you will have time to think about how you will formulate yourself. But sleep is better yet, more time too, maybe you even get to check his reaction tomorrow? It might seem like the end of the world now, but sometimes the most intense things just go by without anybody ever loosing a word about it... Life can be non-sensical like that. I don't know your dad, I couldn't even guess his reaction...

In any case you need to be prepared for the case it becomes litigious, and also for the case... and I know this is rough... that your mother takes his side in this debacle. In case it gets really really rough it's never too soon to look for new living options for yourself, and maybe your mom.


Best of luck, get some sleep hopefully, this is not the end.




Fuck i hope shit is gonna be allright: if you get to talk at all here is an idea of a formulation: hi glad to see you're allright, I shouldn't have done what I did, and neither did you, I'm going to turn myself into the police unless you think that is a bad idea. Watch his reaction carefully you might still wanna do it if he advises you not to.

I say there is a 1% chance the man is plotting your demise, and a 1% chance he swears off alcohol forever, but most likely we are dealing with the 98% in between.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2022, 09:16:46 pm by dragdeler »
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120827 on: July 09, 2022, 11:00:07 pm »

Deep breaths ...

If there's a possibility that he can be given medical attention and helped, it might be a good idea to check on him if you can do that safely. This isn't the end. In most places afaik they are kinder to young people protecting their mothers. You should maybe talk to your mother about plans too if that's safe.
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Vector

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120828 on: July 10, 2022, 03:33:01 am »

+1 on the ending the relationship stuff. It’s hard to make the decision, it’ll suck doing the decision, and your brain will remember the good stuff you’re losing, but it’s the right decision.

I'm double-posting but the breakup conversation has now happened. I'm proud of how I've handled it given that I haven't had to go through the breakup of an established relationship since like ... 2015.

Much easier since we haven't talked face to face in a month due to her catching COVID and then my being away on vacay for two weeks. But I feel lousy. I was really working hard to keep the balance between "I like you, I liked you, I know it seemed like it was going well but you have these sudden mood swings that I am personally not able to deal with that from my perspective come out of absolutely nowhere. Between that and our general lack of shared hobbies, and the physical side of our relationship falling apart because it was being used to manipulate me, I'd like to repair this but I've run out of avenues to keep doing so."

I've contacted most of my close friends and tried to set up some support for myself so I can stay in touch with people over the next few days and get myself plugged back in to life. I'm alone here for the rest of the summer. Just gotta make sure that I don't retreat socially, because I know that I absolutely will do so and stop eating and sleeping in this kind of situation if given half a chance.

I dunno. I feel awful because I hate hurting someone where I can't sit down and immediately start trying to repair the harm that was done. It's very hard for me to look at anyone who's in pain and not try to help but in the conversation she was cold, frozen off, and even a little bit manipulative. I'm relieved to know she has a plan to take care of herself because I asked her.


And also, I think I wish that she had expressed even the slightest concern over my wellbeing. I get it, and on top of the fact that it wasn't her job in that moment I really worked hard to sew things up so tight that it was going to be hard to argue that I was wronging her. No reason to check in on your thoroughly traumatized ex later I guess if there's no way that the relationship can possibly be re-established.

I woulda checked in on her if it was the other way around :/


I know I don't have any right to complain u_u But since I'm on this board and she isn't, I'm just gonna say that I'm a little bit hurt, but I'm not at all surprised.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Great Order

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120829 on: July 10, 2022, 04:33:29 am »

Nah, you've every right to complain. Just because someone else feels bad doesn't mean you can't. Besides, from what I've gathered from the recent stuff she wasn't treating you all that great and there was no way it could have ended well.

You just need to give yourself permission to feel shit and eat nothing but ice cream for a bit. You can get better later, but for now you're allowed to not.
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120830 on: July 10, 2022, 05:17:18 am »

I misread that as "shit and eat nothing but ice cream for a bit". And I was imagining a loop. An endless, ice cream loop.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2022, 05:29:43 am by ChairmanPoo »
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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120831 on: July 10, 2022, 01:42:14 pm »

I don't really know what to say vcd14, but I can somewhat relate as my dad used to be an alcoholic (never was violent though).

I can completely understand why you did what you did, and won't judge you about that. Sometimes you just snap and things get out of control. However, it's usually not the end of things, even if you cross a "point of no return". I don't really have any good advice, so I'll refrain from saying any (lest it be ill advice), but if you need to vent, I can be ears.

Take care and stay safe!

Magmacube_tr

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120832 on: July 10, 2022, 03:29:39 pm »

I am trying to make a Roblox game with very little knowledge on Lua engine, and there is this stupid forum that is both my only hope at proceeding and my biggest handicap.
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Akura

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120833 on: July 10, 2022, 06:30:09 pm »

The last of my dogs died this morning. My parents were going to put him down tomorrow(and really, should have done it weeks ago), but he didn't make it that far.
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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120834 on: July 11, 2022, 09:11:27 am »

Oh man I'm sorry I missed all you peeps' posts. Sounds like you have chartered the right course Vec, because if they're not going to care about you, you've got to be there to care about yourself.

Vcd14 do you have someone or somewhere you can seek legal advice from? Speaking to a lawyer about what course of action you can take, or a citizens advice bureau to find out where you can access free/low cost legal advice may be wise, just so you can gain access to impassioned expert advice. Even if in the end you decide to turn yourself in it is beneficial to have your legal access before you start talking to police. Whatever the case, I hope you can take some time to breathe and think clearly. I unfortunately can sympathise with living in a violent home with people trying to push you into acting against your better nature, in such situations it is important to slow down, get out of the fight or flight state and be yourself again

And Akura, my condolences for your dog. How old were they, if it's ok to ask?

Akura

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120835 on: July 11, 2022, 09:19:22 am »

And Akura, my condolences for your dog. How old were they, if it's ok to ask?

13, maybe older, I don't remember exactly.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120836 on: July 11, 2022, 05:28:56 pm »

My dog is in the hospital now, I just drove her all the way in, she's still conscious. Our pit bull attacked her, tore her legs and chest up, she couldn't walk to the door to greet us. She lost so much blood, just soaked the towel. They said she tore open both her knees and armpits and her chest. Pit bull was soaked in blood on her face and paws. She had been getting more aggressive towards Lucy for months but we didn't think she'd do this. Mom shot her, just shot her right in the head and I can't get it out of my head. And I'm scared for Lucy. I love lucy
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120837 on: July 11, 2022, 05:32:33 pm »

Oh no I'm so sorry for all of that, how are you doing? I hope they're doing everything they can.

Just... lots of sympathy. Your poor pets.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120838 on: July 11, 2022, 09:44:31 pm »

I had to put her down. She was too injured, her legs were broken, she'd never walk again, and I straight up couldn't afford the surgery necessary at $10k. She's got a nice grave full of toys and a treat. They both do. My dad's all shaken up real bad, I haven't cried like this in years, neither has he. It's gonna be a bad week.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you sad today thread.
« Reply #120839 on: July 11, 2022, 09:48:56 pm »

Yeah, it'll hurt pretty bad for a while, especially with it going down like that. Just... try to make it through. Always pretty miserable to lose a pet you were close to, but the edge does wear down after a bit :-\
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