Gold star lesbians are a group who pride themselves on never having been with a man, unlike those other lesbians and are known for being TERFs/biphobic and making a lot of really gross jokes about how much they hate all men and blah blah blah. The reason why it's a problem is because in general, part of "never having been with a man" is about priding yourself of course ... on never having been with a trans woman.
Am I a trans woman? No. Do I care? Absolutely I do, I identify as "half and half" or "balanced" and the same group would either... be "yuck, a trans person" or "Oh! a woman, you won't ruin my scorecard." That kind of thing.
As for Harry Potter, I told the soon-to-be-ex at the beginning of the relationship that I really detest Harry Potter and feel actively threatened by JK Rowling's internet activities and the various people who go "well, it's too bad Rowling hates you guys and is getting a social movement sprung up, I love that wizard stuff." Turns out that her only involvement in nerd culture is the wizard stuff, which when I randomly saw on her Facebook months into the relationship she was like "lol deal."
The worst "treating me like a man" thing is that in lieu of any other form of caring about me she's repeatedly said that she can shake her boobs and make me do whatever she wants. It was briefly funny but then she started saying it in more serious conversations and it became. Just really wrong.
I'm completely fucking demoralized. There's a lot of different little things like this but the above is the one that I feel so humiliated by that I haven't been able to tell anyone until now.
"you, you queer... you'll take this and you'll like it," right?