I知 almost 19, as in like less than a week, and I still can稚 draw. I知 just as scared as ever that I値l never be able to improve my drawing skills no matter how hard I try, no matter how many people say that drawing just comes with enough practice. This never feels like enough to justify posting on one of these threads, and I知 sure someone out there is tired of me doing this, but I think I need to venture here every now and then to keep myself sane.
Look man, I've had a crayon in my hand since as far as I remember, years upon years of practicing this noble art, and I still can't draw. But I stopped caring, because the beautiful thing is, by being constantly in this state of un-worthiness gives me the goal to pursue. I want to draw. I want to draw well. I want to be someday able to look back, and actually be satisfied. Still not there. I can vividly remember at the time of posting some of my old pics, the immense pride and confidence I had putting the stuff out. Guess what, it's trash. I wasn't able to see it then, but my outlook is firm - all that stuff's awful. I kinda hate it. All the old drawings, all the old posts venting, raving like a child I was, the confidence and pride is now guilt and shame, I hope you had at least a good laugh out of me. But I want to redeem myself. And the good thing is, despite how terrible my art is, there is progress. Looking back, there are improvements all the time, despite the non existence of quality. So there's hope. There is an evolution.
I don't want you to feel like I'm an angry P.E. teacher yelling at you to git gud and shoving my way down your throat, I'm merely telling you about my experience, and I hope you can find some encouragement in it. Oh, and don't feel bad about posting your frustration 'ere. That is all fine and well, just please... Don't do it in the way I used to.
Actually, what I used to do when feeling extremely down or fed up was draw. There's many ways how to let the emotion go, and art is a very good option. Those were probably my most competent works, though I've destroyed them all over time due to their excessive eldritchness and horror.
I'm sad because sometimes I feel I'm stupid and useless.
Yo as stated above, I'm also stupid and useless
I can definitely relate to that. But I don't believe
you are. Tell that feeling to shut up and wipe the floor with it, or let me know and I'll call the boyz and we'll mug it or something.
I'm joking around, obviously, but I'm not sure what to say. It's good to have a proof that you aren't useless, then the feeling's invalid. And I'm sure the proof is out there, it just doesn't happen to be in sight in the darkest hours.
That actually reminds me of a sermon I've heard today, it was about a story from the Old Testament, about Ismael and Hagar. You know Abraham, right? Had two sons, Ismael born from a slave Hagar, from which Arabs derive their origin, and Isaac, which is an Israelite patriarch. And because it was deemed that Isaac is the one through which the prophecies and blessings promised to Abraham would come, Hagar and Ismael were driven away.
There's this tragic scene when they're in a desert, out of supplies, Hagar drops her son, walks away a few steps, and turns around, because she doesn't want to watch her child die, and weeps. Then an angel is sent to comfort her, she finds water, and they survive. And the point of the sermon was, it wasn't any spectacular miracle that saved her. It was her, encouraged by the heavenly messenger, opening her eyes, and seeing the well. The solution was there. But for the suffering and desperation, she couldn't find it initially.
Whether you're religious or not, I think that's a beautiful moral. Wish you can banish those bad feelings, Fox.
I'm back on the depression roller coaster. Feel down, steadily get worse, have a mental breakdown of some sort, then feel fine after. Then start feeling down again, steadily get worse, breakdown, rinse and repeat.
Lived through that at once point as well. Ultimately found hope in the fact it was cyclic, it would come and return over and over, but after some time I recognized the pattern and knew, however bad it was, it would end.
I know that's not very helpful, but I feel you. Let your emotions out occasionally, and try to maintain control. Again, I know it's much easier said than done. But I know you can do it, because ultimately, no one else can. Wish you luck, stay safe.