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[Robot Parade Leader]

Car towed. $290 impound fee I cant really afford. So its 300. Got my car back though. I was told there was a fire hydrant, but there isn't one anywhere on that street. At fucking all. So I guess I'm just fighting the ticket, but who knows if I get the impound fee back. I just guess probably not. There is no hydrant or any kind of water hookup on that street anywhere near where I parked. Just for several blocks there isn't anything. No sign. No anything. Just car not where I parked it. Just a blank parking space when I come back. Other people park there. Sure, Im not camping there, but never seen anyone else have any problem.

So the ticket is a couple hundred on top of the impound fee. That just sucks. So like $600 plus something, and court costs if I fight it. So like $700 $800 something. It would have been more at $15 per day if I could not scrape up the impound release fee. That's like $105 per week. This is bullshit. I thankfully have a job, but so no public defender. I don't know if they do that anyhow. More stress great.

[methylatedspirit]

It's dawning on me that my trusty HTPC (that totally isn't a piracy proxy) has a dying boot SSD. Normally, I'd go "oh well, time to replace it!" but considering that I don't have physical access, I can't exactly do much about it apart from backing up its contents.

Now I get to see a computer basically dying in front of me, and I can't do anything about it. It's already showing 2 symptoms of disk failure; it's mounting read-only half the time, and it's showing some 3000 bad sectors on the SSD, rising on the last full self-test. I'm legitimately sad. I'm mourning over this computer already. It's like having a pet suffering from cancer; it's about the same situation for all I care.

[Great Order]

Had a hell of a day yesterday.

Don't think anything went right at all. I woke up depressed, fucked up a few times, and found out some things I thought had happened hadn't.

Then had an anxiety attack because my brain threw up its arms and said "Fuck all that shit then"

[LordBaal]

I can relate on both accounts...

My old collection of hard drives, which were on my old computer before selling it has started to fail and most movies and cartoons for pete are there. I have backed up as much to the laptop we have but there is simply no enough room, and that laptop is mostly for working now.

Internet has stabilized somehow, in the following fashion, during the day it's working from around 9:30 am to 5 or 6 pm. Then it comes around 3 am for half an hour or so.

Electricity goes out again for 3 or 4 hours everyday, and water, which in around 25 years hasn't been cut has been cut a couple of times last week....

Peter feel and had something on his shoulder, something about the soft part of his humerus, which required his shoulder immobilized for three weeks.

This ordeal consumed the last ounces of gas on the tank and the money for the groceries this month... so yeah. At least he is fine.

[hedgerow]

The impregnable and pathological stigma and dichotomy of the moodys on society and normal people, and the misunderstanding of the subject by the people who regard them.

And that made me kinda sad.  It's been about three days now, really.

*kicks a rock*

[Lord Shonus]

The last surviving liberator of Auschwitz died today.

[Vector]

I had a dream that my parents bought me a cute and clever T-shirt with a slogan saying something related to being enby on it:

1. off the rack in a normal (i.e. not queer) store
2. after deliberating which was cutest and picking it out for me
3. in public with me with them

Not in this lifetime, kiddo ... not in this lifetime ...

[methylatedspirit]

I got sad today. It's a transient sadness in a steady signal of happiness, but a sad nonetheless. I'm more-or-less transcribing my feelings here for reference because I (as always) think there's some deeper meaning to it that I'm not getting.

I think the thing that triggered it this time is that I'm fucking lonely. Like, I have no physical friends, none that I can legitimately call "friends", none that I can legitimately trust enough to qualify them as "friends" rather than just "acquaintances". Bay12, you're wonderful people, but I guess it's just not the same. I have my own arguments against the concept, but I don't believe them well enough, it seems.

Then at some point, I expressed this feeling that I cannot be loved, that my work is not good enough for that. This time, the brain listened somewhat to reason. I reasoned with myself that no, external measures of validation are themselves not valid enough to measure self-worth. I'd accept the null hypothesis. The fact I don't have IRL friends is tangential to my self-perception of self-worth. I can choose that. Even if the idea was valid, the counterpoint to that would be, "If I'm trash, then I'm somebody's treasure."

I took a walk after taking one of many naps throughout my day (I blame the meds, but I did wake up at 4), and I realized that to transcribe it here, I feel the need to censor and omit many details. I may be on the side of oversharing, but there are certain details that I'm hesitant to reveal. I don't know if it's internalized whatever that I need to eradicate, if it's my desire for privacy and/or the inherent paranoia that does still influence me despite my best efforts. Am I wrong for doing so?

[Loud Whispers]

If not this, then at least in the next one Vec. Born too early to be the first tea farmer, born too late to be the first orbital tea farmer; may as well be cute and clever

Also I feel that methyl. Though I am grateful for the friends I've got. There're many people I'd say I'm friendly acquaintances with but two handfuls of people are whom I'd call friends who I'd put my life on and for; amongst which two are my left arm and right arm. You can live without friends but they make life more colourful. I'd get a dog and/or cat in the meantime, take up gardening or fishkeeping, those usually scratch that itch for companionship when I'm far far away from any friends

[Kagus]

If not this, then at least in the next one Vec. Born too early to be the first tea farmer, born too late to be the first orbital tea farmer; may as well be cute and clever

But on the plus side, we do live in the timeline with Tim Curry

[Loud Whispers]

But on the plus side, we do live in the timeline with Tim Curry

Where did you gain such wisdom Kagus? I wish to learn it too

[Yoink]

But on the plus side, we do live in the timeline with Tim Curry

Who's that?   

[Vector]

If not this, then at least in the next one Vec. Born too early to be the first tea farmer, born too late to be the first orbital tea farmer; may as well be cute and clever

I appreciate this. Thank you

[Frumple]

But on the plus side, we do live in the timeline with Tim Curry

Who's that?   

Rocky horror picture show guy, Hexxus in fern gully, probably some other stuff.

[TamerVirus]

But on the plus side, we do live in the timeline with Tim Curry

Who's that?   

BEHOLD!