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[martinuzz]

A nice distraction for your kid at that age would be to browse the online store for a Capt'n Hook hook that fits over the cast, and a pirate tricorne. Make him feel badass with the broken arm

[LordBaal]

Also a good oportunity for him to develop his other hand skills which is always a good thing. Brushing teeth or drawing can be games. You could use your other hand too and play to see how well both do it like that.

[MonkeyHead]

Also a good oportunity for him to develop his other hand skills which is always a good thing. Brushing teeth or drawing can be games. You could use your other hand too and play to see how well both do it like that.

Literally how I became ambidextrous after a horrible rugby injury.

[McTraveller]

Thanks all - in general he's a trooper - apparently he was less vocal than many adults when they set the fracture; due to limited visitors I wasn't in there at the time (he was with Mom).

He has already started referring to the splint as his "robot arm." 

The resilience of kids...

[LordBaal]

Cool. Try to find some robotic stickers or something.


Edit: My wife's uncle, one of the very, very few cops that were honest in this fucking wasteland got killed in the line of duty.

[martinuzz]

That's horrible. Killed by criminals, or by his colleagues?

[LordBaal]

Probably both. He was a very christian guy and very clean for our standards on policement. Got ambushed with his boss and gunned down with assault rifles. Probably was a collateral.

[McTraveller]

Wow. Horrible, indeed.

[Dunamisdeos]

Damn man that's terrible. Sorry for your loss, and for the loss for the community there.

[LordBaal]

Yeah, we are here on my inlaw's house. It was guys with FAES uniforms. Maduro's SS basically. My mother in law is wrecked as her 90+ mother is. Fuck.

I mean, this happens all the time here but one does not gives much though until it hits near you.

[JoshuaFH]

I'm honest to god sickened to my core at the dilemmas my retarded family keeps putting me into.

My Sister surprised me on her 19th birthday with the knowledge that several pregnancy tests have come up positive. I know for a fact that she wouldn't make a good mother, she is lazy, unmotivated, stupid, and living a squalid, poor existence with her mother in an apartment that is barely big enough for the two of them. The supposed father is someone SHE BARELY FUCKING KNOWS and I grossly doubt would be a competent father from the little I know about him. Any child birthed into these circumstances and by these people is just going to suffer, exactly as I've personally suffered by being birthed under similar circumstances.

Knowing all this, I am forced to broach the topic to my Sister, that maybe she should just abort it. She won't have it, a baby is a blessing and abortion is murder and she wouldn't even think to do it. I'm just fucking disgusted at the tenacity that my closest immediate family is willing to jump at the chance to ruin their own lives, and by extension my life, because while there's a lot to be said at the value of female bodily autonomy, it's not like I'm going to be uninvolved, I'm going to get dragged into all of my sister's problems because she just refuses to think things through and she's too incompetent to handle her life by herself. And if I don't help them, her life is ruined and I'm overwhelmed with guilt for my whole life at not helping the one person in life I'm closest to.

Just, fucking goddamnit, I don't know what to do.

[Vector]

Hmm... do you know anyone else with a very young child? Maybe suggest that she spend a week living with them to "help out and learn the ropes?"

[LordBaal]

Way too young to have a baby. It seems most likely was not planned and the situation is not good at all.

Didn't she knows of contraceptives? Fuck there is even a pill for the day after.

Or did they wanted a  child? People can change and when children are the catalist they can change quickly and for good. But is not a given really.

Im not pro abortion in this kind of cases because I think it should not be used as a regular contraception, you were having most likely unprotected sex, what you expected to get? A plasma tv? But to each its own, I guess if is still early... its just a fucking mess.

In the end, my own opinions aside, I just hope your sister and your family do what is best for everyone involved.

[martinuzz]

...I'm going to get dragged into all of my sister's problems...

No, you're not getting dragged into all of your sister's problems, you are letting yourself get dragged into all of your sister's problems.

And if I don't help them, her life is ruined and I'm overwhelmed with guilt for my whole life at not helping the one person in life I'm closest to.

You cannot help her.
Do you know the difference between enabling and empowering? What you have been doing all your life is enabling your sister to manipulate you and everyone else via guilt trip. She might not do that intentionally, or even if she is aware of the burden she puts on your shoulders, she is not able to alter her behaviour (without professional help at least). That's borderline personality for ya.

As long as you keep cleaning up her mess and picking up the broken pieces after her, you are actually not helping her, it will just reinforce her behaviour.


EDIT: I wish I could give you advise that would fix it all, but sadly I can't.
I can give you some basic advise though.

1) Set boundaries on what is acceptable behaviour and what is not. She cannot do that for herself, so that is up to those close to her.
You will have to learn to tell her 'no, I can not do that for you'. And 'no, you can not expect that from me'. Expect tantrums, and emotional blackmail remarks like 'you are an egocentric bastard', and ' you dont care for me at all'. Don't give in to those.
Tell her you love her, but that she is crossing the line of what you can and cannot do for her.

2) tell her excactly how her behaviour makes you feel when she does something that makes you feel shitty or guilty. After things cool down a bit, not in the heat of the moment, but don't wait too long.
Example: if she made a remark like 'you don't care for me at all' in a tantrum, when things cool down, sit down with her and tell her 'do you know how it makes me feel when you tell me I don't care for me at all?  It makes me really sad / angry / desperate, because I do care, a lot'

3) Never push her to get professional help. She needs to get that idea by herself.  Ofcourse, you can hint at it, but never in a 'you must do that' way.  If she ever does show any interest in help, be supportive.


EDIT2: Also know that there are both self-help groups as well as professional councelling for people close to people with a borderline personality disorder. At least over here there are.

[Vector]

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