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[ChairmanPoo]

I’m lonely and I’m bored because I can’t see anyone to talk to thanks to Corona, I lack the motivation to do anything more complicated than the basic requirements of my continued survival, one of the only people I have definite contact with is very bad at hiding that he’s in a terrible state and yet continues to fool the people who are the largest source of his stress, and honestly, I’m so insecure about myself and my relationships with others that I have a trauma-induced mental block stopping me from bringing anything up if it could possibly in any way shape or form annoy them, I don’t know if anyone is being honest about me as a human being, and I genuinely don’t know if I am, as I instinctively think I am, a thinly tolerated source of constant annoyance, or if anyone likes me as a human being, and I don’t trust anyone to be honest, because I know I wouldn’t be honest about that if someone I knew was like that. I don’t know what I’m doing with myself. I don’t know what the future may be, or if I’ll still be employed at the end of the epidemic, I don’t know what I want to do, and I’m cripplingly afraid of beinging it up with people because of a trauma-induced fear of being annoying that I need to talk with my therapist about more. Thanks for listening to my sad talk.

Imic I'm here if you want to talk

For what it's worth I've had many of those thoughts. I dont know what will happen to me and my family and I'm terrified. I dont know how bad the next few months will be in Europe. What will happen to my plans

I was looking forward to meeting again with the girl from Dublin I was dating last year but I think she has something else going. That dropped my moral quite a bit. I was trying to see that as a light at the end of the quarantine.

[Il Palazzo]

[David Attenborough voice] When reminded of his own mortality, the male human thinks of procreating.

[Dunamisdeos]

[David Attenborough voice] When reminded of his own mortality, the male human thinks of procreating.

[David Attenborough continues] We don't know what his excuse is for the rest of the year, but we are working on that.

[ChairmanPoo]

[David Attenborough voice] When reminded of his own mortality, the male human thinks of procreating.

Yeah, they say as much in Akira Kurosawa's "the 7 samurai"

After the movie my father remarked that if a month ago anyone had told him he'd be willing to sit through a four-hour-long 1954 movie in Japanese with subtitles, he'd have laughed out loud.

[itisnotlogical]

Not a single minute of my life has been normal, and I'm starting to think it won't ever be.

When I was little I thought I could be an astronaut or the President. When I was in high school and college, I wanted to be a game developer or software engineer. When I left college I thought I might be a retail supervisor if I really work at it for a year or two. Now, with all I've been through, where I am financially/emotionally/physically and what the world looks like, it'll be an act of God and this entire crappy Sisyphean journey of my life will all be worth it if I can move out before my 30th birthday.

[Naturegirl1999]

Not a single minute of my life has been normal, and I'm starting to think it won't ever be.

When I was little I thought I could be an astronaut or the President. When I was in high school and college, I wanted to be a game developer or software engineer. When I left college I thought I might be a retail supervisor if I really work at it for a year or two. Now, with all I've been through, where I am financially/emotionally/physically and what the world looks like, it'll be an act of God and this entire crappy Sisyphean journey of my life will all be worth it if I can move out before my 30th birthday.

What’s your business idea?
Mine involves self employment
Making something to sell
Let’s think of a way to make money

When you look at a cactus, tell me friend, what do you see?
It’s just a boring old cactus, Maybe to you, but not to me
I see a drought resistant plant, an example of a business opportunity
I might buy some garden plants
And breed them to have drought resistance
Less water will be needed
They will last through droughts
More people let them be seeded
I have no doubt

We can get creative
Thinking of a new business
Listen to your heart, listen to your brain
Listen to the thoughts within your brain

An idea you can do
Will hopefully come to you
Hopefully you can find something
An idea that works for you

What are your interests?
What are your skills?
Are you a mechanic?
Are you good with drills?

Maybe you’re good at using a lathe
Or maybe you could sell materials for spelunking in caves
Just think of something that fits for you
Try not to think about being blue

Maybe you can paint
Maybe you can draw
Maybe you have skills
Allowing you to go into law

Maybe you can engineer software at home
Maybe your software company can be called SoftwareDome
What kinds of things are you able to craft?
Whether wood, metal, plastic, paper and other materials

Maybe you can make YouTube videos teaching people how to learn your skills
To learn your skills
Surely there is something you can make
What if you made a program to make recipes for things to bake

Listen to your heart, listen to your brain
You probably have skills that you can train
Don’t let the quarantine get you down
Your house is a good place to practice skills and write things down

Not every job needs a physical presence
Working from home will work too
Will work too

Find out something you’re good at and work to improve
When quarantine is over you can have people buy from you
The things you made while in your home
Possibly statues made of styrofoam

Creativity is good
Creativity is great
Molding things out of metal and wood
Making things out of pieces of broken plates
Gluing the glass together and smoothing off the sharp parts
To make sure said glass objects don’t cut your arms

If you can’t get a job working for someone else
Self employment is the way to go
It gives a chance for you to let your creativity flow

[Yoink]

Think I'm having a bit of a sadness spike. Getting all teary-eyed over nothing in particular. Maybe the book I've been reading?   
It's kind of heavy stuff, I guess, but I think the real rub is that I look at these folks whose lowest points I'm reading about and it still seems, to me, that they're doing a helluva lot better than I am. I can't help it. Can't coerce myself into thinking otherwise.   
Anyway, ahem, I reckon I'm gonna go make some refried bean burritos.   

Not a single minute of my life has been normal

How the hell can you tell? I'd like to see a nice set measure for what a "normal" life even is, 'cause as far as I can tell that word holds next-to-no meaning in this context. Are your problems not normal? Are mine? I'm told there are millions out there suffering as I do, but I'm not sure where they hide themselves.   
Perhaps they all find themselves in similar situations, laying low in their mother's house stuck in some nasty country town where it's too hot to relax and too threatening to go outside, and they're distracting themselves with books and booze and Netflix specials from the endless barrage of negative, self-defeating thoughts that are just about all they can think these days, hating the world and hating themselves for their place in it.   

Aw hell, I'm ranting and I'm not even sure what about. I'm not even drunk yet, honest!   
The above seems cringe as hell, though. Not sure why I typed all that nonsense. Believe me when I say it takes considerable willpower not to delete all or most of it, or even leave this whole dang post un-posted. But I won't, because I'm pretty sure there was something in what I was trying to say that actually made sense? Hope so.   
If not, just chuck it on the pile with the rest of my shitposts. *shrug*   

[ChairmanPoo]

Think I'm having a bit of a sadness spike. Getting all teary-eyed over nothing in particula

We're all there.

I think after this we'll all have some degree of PTSD

[Eschar]

Think I'm having a bit of a sadness spike. Getting all teary-eyed over nothing in particular

Same here. My teary-eyed-ness has continued for 6 weeks, and I don't even know why. Which means it started even before COVID alarm became widespread in the US, so:

Think I'm having a bit of a sadness spike. Getting all teary-eyed over nothing in particula

We're all there.

I think after this we'll all have some degree of PTSD

... probably isn't the whole story in my case.

[bloop_bleep]

...

There's a quote from All the King's Men, "Whatever you live, is life." Just looked up the full quote:

"Which is nonsense, for whatever you live is Life. That is something to remember when you meet the old classmate who says, "Well now, on our last expedition up the Congo-" or the one who says, "Gee, I got the sweetest little wife and three of the swellest kids ever-" You must remember it when you sit in hotel lobbies or lean over bars to talk to the bartender or walk down a dark street at night, in early March, and stare into a lighted window. And remember little Susie has adenoids and the bread is probably burned, and turn up the street, for the time has come to hand me down that walking cane, for I got to catch that midnight train, for all my sin is taken away. For whatever you live is life."

There's no such thing as a "normal life." It's completely meaningless. There's no "final objective" in life. You're doing what you can, surviving, day by day, and that's really all anyone can ask of you.

[scriver]

"i'm not happy with my life."

"Your feelings don't matter"

[Il Palazzo]

"i'm not happy with my life."

"Your feelings don't matter"

I can imagine you seeking enlightenment on some remote mountaintop:
-Oh, noble Buddha, I'm in pain.
-Your pain is an illusion. Free yourself from the shackles of your desires, for they have been placed on you by those who don't have your well being at heart. Only then will you be able to reach Nirvana.
-How dare you belittle my feelings!

[Kagus]

As someone who has felt bad for most of their life; and who has been told that it was their own fault for feeling bad, and that they'd feel better as soon as it meant enough for them to change their mind about feeling bad; and who spent a great deal of effort trying desperately to just stop feeling bad before eventually settling on not feeling anything because that was the best they could manage and it served the purpose of not getting them in trouble for having bad feelings...


...I'm sorry, but Prince Gautama can enlighten these nuts.



That said, I don't really know where scriver is coming from. I don't interpret the quote as dismissing Yoink's musings on normalcy in any way.

[Il Palazzo]

...I'm sorry, but Prince Gautama can enlighten these nuts.

You want Tantric yoga for that kind of enlightenment.

[Naturegirl1999]

Not a single minute of my life has been normal, and I'm starting to think it won't ever be.

When I was little I thought I could be an astronaut or the President. When I was in high school and college, I wanted to be a game developer or software engineer. When I left college I thought I might be a retail supervisor if I really work at it for a year or two. Now, with all I've been through, where I am financially/emotionally/physically and what the world looks like, it'll be an act of God and this entire crappy Sisyphean journey of my life will all be worth it if I can move out before my 30th birthday.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What’s your business idea?
Mine involves self employment
Making something to sell
Let’s think of a way to make money

When you look at a cactus, tell me friend, what do you see?
It’s just a boring old cactus, Maybe to you, but not to me
I see a drought resistant plant, an example of a business opportunity
I might buy some garden plants
And breed them to have drought resistance
Less water will be needed
They will last through droughts
More people let them be seeded
I have no doubt

We can get creative
Thinking of a new business
Listen to your heart, listen to your brain
Listen to the thoughts within your brain

An idea you can do
Will hopefully come to you
Hopefully you can find something
An idea that works for you

What are your interests?
What are your skills?
Are you a mechanic?
Are you good with drills?

Maybe you’re good at using a lathe
Or maybe you could sell materials for spelunking in caves
Just think of something that fits for you
Try not to think about being blue

Maybe you can paint
Maybe you can draw
Maybe you have skills
Allowing you to go into law

Maybe you can engineer software at home
Maybe your software company can be called SoftwareDome
What kinds of things are you able to craft?
Whether wood, metal, plastic, paper and other materials

Maybe you can make YouTube videos teaching people how to learn your skills
To learn your skills
Surely there is something you can make
What if you made a program to make recipes for things to bake

Listen to your heart, listen to your brain
You probably have skills that you can train
Don’t let the quarantine get you down
Your house is a good place to practice skills and write things down

Not every job needs a physical presence
Working from home will work too
Will work too

Find out something you’re good at and work to improve
When quarantine is over you can have people buy from you
The things you made while in your home
Possibly statues made of styrofoam

Creativity is good
Creativity is great
Molding things out of metal and wood
Making things out of pieces of broken plates
Gluing the glass together and smoothing off the sharp parts
To make sure said glass objects don’t cut your arms

If you can’t get a job working for someone else
Self employment is the way to go
It gives a chance for you to let your creativity flow

this is supposed to be a song about how even if you are not working for anyone, and even if you u def quarantine, it is still possible to learn new skills, or make things out of other things, so that when you are out of quarantine, you can sell the crafts you made, and/or start a business on something else. The reason why the whole poem is a link is because clicking it will take you to the melody and the song this song was based on