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[Tingle]

Yoink come live with me on my island. You may be forced to wear and employee outfit and do some mild physical activities.

[ChairmanPoo]

Yoink come live with me on my island. You may be forced to wear and employee outfit and do some mild physical activities.

Yoink, I'm pretty sure he means to molest you. Just a friendly warning here.

[wierd]

Yoink come live with me on my island. You may be forced to wear and employee outfit and do some mild physical activities.

Yoink, I'm pretty sure he means to molest you. Just a friendly warning here.

I always wondered if Mr Tingle's first name was Chuck or not..

[itisnotlogical]

I'm tired of being told by people that I'm grieving for myself incorrectly, that the things I'm upset about are wrong and that expressing my sadness is bad and wrong, either directly by being commanded (not asked, not encouraged, commanded) to smile/cheer up/stop crying/calm down, or just by being made to feel that my emotions are a burden. Everybody else in the world gets to throw a fit and be a shitty person all day because they couldn't find something at the store; my life might be changed forever and I have to keep it all inside because other people can't deal with it.

[Doomblade187]

I'm tired of being told by people that I'm grieving for myself incorrectly, that the things I'm upset about are wrong and that expressing my sadness is bad and wrong, either directly by being commanded (not asked, not encouraged, commanded) to smile/cheer up/stop crying/calm down, or just by being made to feel that my emotions are a burden. Everybody else in the world gets to throw a fit and be a shitty person all day because they couldn't find something at the store; my life might be changed forever and I have to keep it all inside because other people can't deal with it.

Your emotions and grief is valid. They're being assholes.

[CABL]

^

(Unashamedly) emotional men gang.

[Iduno]

I'm tired of being told by people that I'm grieving for myself incorrectly, that the things I'm upset about are wrong and that expressing my sadness is bad and wrong, either directly by being commanded (not asked, not encouraged, commanded) to smile/cheer up/stop crying/calm down, or just by being made to feel that my emotions are a burden. Everybody else in the world gets to throw a fit and be a shitty person all day because they couldn't find something at the store; my life might be changed forever and I have to keep it all inside because other people can't deal with it.

Those sound like customers, not people. Their opinions don't matter.

[LordBaal]

Isnotlogical:

1- Play Mechanicus intensively.
2- Learn how to make servitors.
3- Turn all those fuckers into gun servitors for your personal army.
4- No profit, just old fashion cold revengy and ironic justice. Who's feelings are represed now bitches!

On the other hand if you fail to procure the spare parts, simply tell them to fuck off, nicely if you must, but sternly nevertheless, you've been through a lot and no one have a shitty rigth to tell you how you must feel. The fuckers! I blame the millenial compulsion of meddling, being offended and have opinions and feelings in behalf of others.

[JoshuaFH]

I went on over to my local community college to sign up for classes, because the semester is starting soon... only problem is, I still don't have a fucking clue what I want to do. My well-meaning friend advises accounting, because it just builds on aptitudes I already have and I'm already mentally hardened to boring desk work. But like, FUCK, is that something I really want to do? Having freedom to be employed where I want and actually having a salary that isn't something pitiful is attractive, but like, fuck, I want change in my life, I hate who I am, I don't want to build on the foundation that I fucking hate. Just standing in that college, makes me wish I was never born, I just wanted to die right in that hallway, I couldn't keep down the feeling of disgust, for myself and for the alien officious environment I knew I didn't belong in.

And when I'm actually speaking to the advisor to help me get started, she's speaking to me like I have the faintest clue of what I want to do, like this is something I actually want to do, and I'm just lost for words. I just couldn't contribute anything, I was just completely blank on the subject.

I just can't help but feel that someone who has so little direction and ownership of their own life like I do actually don't deserve to live.
"How fortunate it would be if I weren't burdened by the imperative to live, weren't shackled to this worthless body, which is itself shackled to the worthless world it exists in, and I could just be relieved of the chore of having to live. All so I wouldn't be forced into doing asinine shit like this!" was roughly the bath of emotions I was feeling articulated into words.

I suppose you could ask what I want to do, but how can I not contradict myself? Just, fuck, I'm a joke, my existence is a joke.

[Iduno]

And when I'm actually speaking to the advisor to help me get started, she's speaking to me like I have the faintest clue of what I want to do, like this is something I actually want to do, and I'm just lost for words. I just couldn't contribute anything, I was just completely blank on the subject.

To Advisor: You are a damn school advisor. How do you not know people are lost and desperate/overwhelmed to have to talk to your no-talent ass? Why don't you have a script to walk people through realizing they should do what they're good at, and that they'll resent all of the time forced to do a job, so they should care more about being comfortable with it than liking it?

To Joshua: Do you want a job that will challenge you, or will being at the line where you know you can fail at any time be too stressful? What courses are you good at?

[bloop_bleep]

Joshua, I feel like you might be a little bit too self-aware. I'm getting the feeling you spend a lot of time brooding in your head. It's ok, I do that too, but actually thinking so much about these existential questions, and letting your artificial, self-created, short-sighted verdict of yourself and your situation set in, might actually cloud your judgment and paralyze you.

It's sort of like the principle behind fallacy of sunk cost. What happened in the past has no bearing on the utility of your choices now. You've feel like you've had little direction in your life up to this point. Doesn't mean you can't have direction now. You're still young. I'm willing to bet you have nearly the same opportunity to continue as someone who's fresh out of undergrad, but because you've constantly been thinking about your past lack of direction, you're starting to absorb that idea and live in it. I know that feeling, of the futility of changing something because it's been one way for a long time, but that's just a trick our brains have us believe in to try to squeeze some romance out of the situation. Your existence is not a farce.

[itisnotlogical]

The fuckers! I blame the millenial compulsion of meddling, being offended and have opinions and feelings in behalf of others.

Actually it's all been boomers, so swing and a miss. People in my own age group have been more than understanding and willing to lend an ear.

[Iduno]

Actually it's all been boomers, so swing and a miss. People in my own age group have been more than understanding and willing to lend an ear.

Yeah, they're pretty serious about wrecking everything.

[Eschar]

The lonely thoughts (perhaps not actually related to loneliness) are back, and a weak version of that weird recurring self-loathing/life-is-worthless/etc. feeling has returned with it (after a hiatus of several months). I don't know why. Well, I know the minor event that precipitated this ... attack (feels like an attack in the sense of being non-voluntary but that may be just an illusion)? I don't know whether these occurrences are simply a normal reaction to mild sadness or whatever and don't have anyone to talk about it with to compare them to other people's experiences. Are they pathological (the feelings, not the people)? Do I have depression or something similar? But maybe they're not odd at all, normal reactions, and I just don't have perspective to recognise that. It's hard to put them into words.

Thoughts?

[Quaksna]

I went on over to my local community college to sign up for classes, because the semester is starting soon... only problem is, I still don't have a fucking clue what I want to do. My well-meaning friend advises accounting, because it just builds on aptitudes I already have and I'm already mentally hardened to boring desk work. But like, FUCK, is that something I really want to do? Having freedom to be employed where I want and actually having a salary that isn't something pitiful is attractive, but like, fuck, I want change in my life, I hate who I am, I don't want to build on the foundation that I fucking hate. Just standing in that college, makes me wish I was never born, I just wanted to die right in that hallway, I couldn't keep down the feeling of disgust, for myself and for the alien officious environment I knew I didn't belong in.

And when I'm actually speaking to the advisor to help me get started, she's speaking to me like I have the faintest clue of what I want to do, like this is something I actually want to do, and I'm just lost for words. I just couldn't contribute anything, I was just completely blank on the subject.

I just can't help but feel that someone who has so little direction and ownership of their own life like I do actually don't deserve to live.
"How fortunate it would be if I weren't burdened by the imperative to live, weren't shackled to this worthless body, which is itself shackled to the worthless world it exists in, and I could just be relieved of the chore of having to live. All so I wouldn't be forced into doing asinine shit like this!" was roughly the bath of emotions I was feeling articulated into words.

I suppose you could ask what I want to do, but how can I not contradict myself? Just, fuck, I'm a joke, my existence is a joke.

The lonely thoughts (perhaps not actually related to loneliness) are back, and a weak version of that weird recurring self-loathing/life-is-worthless/etc. feeling has returned with it (after a hiatus of several months). I don't know why. Well, I know the minor event that precipitated this ... attack (feels like an attack in the sense of being non-voluntary but that may be just an illusion)? I don't know whether these occurrences are simply a normal reaction to mild sadness or whatever and don't have anyone to talk about it with to compare them to other people's experiences. Are they pathological (the feelings, not the people)? Do I have depression or something similar? But maybe they're not odd at all, normal reactions, and I just don't have perspective to recognise that. It's hard to put them into words.

Thoughts?

Guys... You're not alone. I am experiencing these states too. On top of that, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, gaming is my only joy now. I am unable to make art, and that's... I bet you know this feeling of being useless. (And that's the worst. I know I am not. I know that I made something good in my life, but for some reason, that means nothing right now. Why? Illogical. So...)

The only thing I can do is to hope that some day, my sanity, my true diligent and enthusiastic soul will return. And then, I'll have to rush to do everything I can, before I fall into hopelessness again. It's... Terrifying. I even wrote a song about this everlasting cycle, where verses sing about hopelessness and chorus encourages and repeats: "And remember, you're not alone."

Now that I read these posts of yours... I'm feeling better. Because I see, I am not alone. And you're not too.