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[TamerVirus]

We're onto you, Chairman! You're actually part of the Big Exterma conspiracy... turning the innocent to roaches so they can be reaped by the one they call the Orkin Man.

[ChairmanPoo]

We're onto you, Chairman! You're actually part of the Big Exterma conspiracy... turning the innocent to roaches so they can be reaped by the one they call the Orkin Man.

Orkin Man resents your words, as everything that was done was consensual

[Dunamisdeos]

We're onto you, Chairman! You're actually part of the Big Exterma conspiracy... turning the innocent to roaches so they can be reaped by the one they call the Orkin Man.

Orkin Man resents your words, as everything that was done was consensual

Orkin Man, Orkin Man.
Does whatever, because he can.

[TD1]

Can he turn
Into a roach?

[Il Palazzo]

Orkin Man, Orkin Man.
Does whateveryour mum, because he can.

#mature_jokes

[Kagus]

I was doing so well. You could almost say I was living. It wasn't much, but it was something I had.

Guess I needed to be put in my place again, apparently.

[Il Palazzo]

Ten four. Commence venting.

[Kagus]

Sleep first, try to find words later. It sucks because I have a lot of good people around me who are ready and willing to listen, but... This time I just don't have anything to say.

[Dunamisdeos]

#HugsForKagus

We gotcha, get some sleep, post later.

[hector13]

A good sleep sometimes does me good, hopefully it at least makes you feel physically better, dude.

[Eschar]

Aye. I'll be listening sympathetically, if you vent later.

[methylatedspirit]

(I have nothing to add. Sorry.)

I took my antipsychotics last night, and I absolutely fucking hated it. Even as I fell asleep, I could hear my internal monologue regretting it. Now that I've been awake for 7 hours, I still regret it. It's like stabbing myself with tranquilizer darts just to sleep. It's quite apt, really; it's as if I'm an animal that got shot with tranquilizer darts because it escaped from its cage.

But I'm not an animal, am I? Not one incapable of independent thought, at least, so why am I treating myself as such? I'm still holding out hope that my psychosis can somehow be worked with. Even if it confuses me, deludes me, makes me throw stuff around, that's still 'me', right? To shut that part out entirely feels like a betrayal. Like I can't trust myself. If I can't trust myself, then what chance is there that I can trust others? If so...


...sorry, I'm rambling. It's all just a long-winded way of saying "end my suffering".

[Il Palazzo]

But I'm not an animal, am I?

Sure you are. We're all just monkeys in shoes, and quite delusional too. We think we're capable of independent thought.

[Iduno]

(I have nothing to add. Sorry.)

I took my antipsychotics last night, and I absolutely fucking hated it. Even as I fell asleep, I could hear my internal monologue regretting it. Now that I've been awake for 7 hours, I still regret it. It's like stabbing myself with tranquilizer darts just to sleep. It's quite apt, really; it's as if I'm an animal that got shot with tranquilizer darts because it escaped from its cage.

But I'm not an animal, am I? Not one incapable of independent thought, at least, so why am I treating myself as such? I'm still holding out hope that my psychosis can somehow be worked with. Even if it confuses me, deludes me, makes me throw stuff around, that's still 'me', right? To shut that part out entirely feels like a betrayal. Like I can't trust myself. If I can't trust myself, then what chance is there that I can trust others? If so...


...sorry, I'm rambling. It's all just a long-winded way of saying "end my suffering".

I've always felt the mental illness was an invader, preventing me from being myself. I want to be free of it, so I can be myself, but insurance thinks spending money to keep me alive is a waste.

Also, 2 nights in a row with ~4 hours sleep. Not enough to be bad, but I can't think well.

[Yoink]

Also, 2 nights in a row with ~4 hours sleep. Not enough to be bad, but I can't think well.

Same. Or, well, probably more than two nights in a row. I don't know, I think I accidentally may have turned myself nocturnal.
In other, less major but still saddening Sads, I have thought it over and come to the conclusion that I cannot afford to buy a certain thing that I had planned on buying. I added it to my cart earlier intending to purchase it then and there, only for my internet to crap out - and now, hours later with my internet finally up and running again, I've looked again at the price, my current funds, the time 'til next payday and the amount of rent I have to pay out of that - yeah, nah, this is one occasion when I have a very clear-cut decision to either be a total moron with my money or not.
I have a fair bit of drinking to do in these next few weeks, after all. I'm probably gonna bankrupt myself anyhow, so why make it even worse?

Urgh, so tempting though. I could always just buy it, buy some cheap liquor, kick apart the last rotting vestiges of my social life and stay in drinking alone with my purchase until such a time as I have money again. >.>