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[ChairmanPoo]

I dont work in a standard job. This means that

-HR is largely uninvolved in what I get and dont get to do. Depending on the country, their role has been either limited or nonexistent. In many places they don't even have a say on whether I'm hired or not, it works through a public list

- my contention has largely been with the department directors, who apparently assume that once I'm in they can change the terms of the deal at will

- wages are standard and vary mostly with the place I'm working at (and experience). Its largely non negotiable and its also not the reason why I move

- the position is also fairly standard. The details may vary from place to place.

- there are not that many people that do what I do. This means that although the job is fairly niche, as long as I'm willing to travel I'm unlikely to stay unemployed unless I want to.

To boot, the points of contention are unfulfilled employer promises, which concern job stability (real stability, not just chained contracts that end whenever it suits the employer), and nature of the job in question.  In  my previous job I got promises about both that werent fulfilled (and I got a rude reply as justification)

In the current one it seems very much that  the same thing is happening. The job is not as stable as I was told (though as far as chained contracts go it's fairly long) and I'm not doing what was promised. Mind you, I haven't effing married them at any event, but I feel specially not bound if I'm sticking around doing the stuff I'm currently doing with the promise that *maybe* I'll get to do what they told me I would be doing sometime in the next five years.  You have to put a limit on how long you're willing to wait.  My current criteria is to give it a year. Depending on how the situation goes I might make it longer or shorter  (eg: one of my coworkers is apparently being pressured into doing unpaid overtime. I can assure you I'd not react well to such a request)

Why would your employers invest in you, giving you the position/wage that you want when you might just leave in a heartbeat?

Because I'm very difficult to replace and not giving me what I want might make it more likely for me to leave for greener pastures?

[Ulfarr]

Disclaimer: I'm not trying to offend you or change your mind. It's quite a slow day at work and me being somewhat young and with limited working experience (I've been at the same job for some years now because it's quite good for  what it requires of me compared to what else is available) I'm interested in how other people deal with employment issues. If you don't feel like continuing the conversation we can drop it.

I agree with you about the whole unpaid labor, broken promises and changing the deal. Coupled with how you described your situation, you are in the perfect spot to keep looking for your ideal job so more power to you.

With that being said I'm not sure about the strength of the "I'm difficult to replace" argument, we live in a global market and whether we like it or not everyone is replaceable eventually. Granted you can't be sure that there is no foul play on the part of your manager/employer, that might have never intended to keep their promises but in the end if it's cheaper/less difficult to replace you than satisfying your demands the outcome will probably always be to keep you for the absolute minimum.

I think it might be more prudent to cultivate your relations with your managers. Afterall, it's the very problem that you describe in your previous post, you have to compete with others that are already established.

[Arx]

For context, the good Chairman is a medical specialist - bones and possibly bone cancer, IIRC. Specialists with a lot of experience are still difficult to replace, even in the modern era.

[ChairmanPoo]

Blood and blood cancer, but yes.   

[Yoink]

Blood is just boneless bone.   

[Ulfarr]

For context, the good Chairman is a medical specialist - bones and possibly bone cancer, IIRC. Specialists with a lot of experience are still difficult to replace, even in the modern era.

Blood and blood cancer, but yes.   

I knew it was something medical-related but I didn't know the specifics. Yes it is quite niche. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!

[Arx]

Blood and blood cancer, but yes.   

Blood, bone marrow, basically the same stuff

[ChairmanPoo]

🤷🏻‍♂️

We'll see what happens. I've not been here that long. It could still work out. It's just that what I was told was guaranteed is more of a future plan, and what was told that was a future plan   turned out to be stuff they'd like to do but dont have any serious idea as to how.

I was also told that I might be sent to do routine stuff (implicit long term) after all. That does not make me cheerful.

That being said, jobs elsewhere in my countey would be viable but not all that different (indeed, it's not my current situation is bad. It's pretty much what a young attending in a large hospital can expect in Spain. It's just the reason I came here was specifically the promises they made to me)Elsewhere, the HSE is frozen right now and I expect  it will remain so until at least March or April, if not longer.  And all in all, I have a decent quality of life and work/life balance (really, the stuff I'm doing now is fairly trivial). If they don't substantially screw up my situation (eg by trying to pressgang me into unpaid -feck, or even paid-overtime*)  I don't mind  holding out for something better (and give them a chance to make good their word)



*mind you, it's not going to f*ing happen 🤣  I have a coworker who's getting that routinedly, but they dont have that kind of leverage with me🤣

[JoshuaFH]

Not a sad, but not a happy either, just placing it here:

I had a very unique dream just now. I'll just give the highlight: I was sitting on a couch, and a girl I had a crush on in highschool (adult-ified; though I don't know how she actually looks nowadays) had sidled up close to me, and I was very intensely nervous. Being so close to someone I had idealized so much, and who I felt so very inferior to, was just overwhelming. I was trying to think of something to say or do that would be appropriate to the situation, but maybe it was something subtle like her body language or the way she looked at me, but she clearly communicated that she didn't think of me as a lesser, but as an equal and was happy to be there sitting next to me. That swept away the nervousness I was feeling, and without saying anything, we just relaxed and watched TV together. It was something boring and trivial on TV, so I pressed my bare foot against hers, and she pressed back, and it was just such a small gesture of affection, but I was just filled with happiness. Then I woke up.

I had to lay in bed for a while processing the dream; I was frustrated that it ended and it exacerbated the loneliness I feel all the time. The first thought that came to mind was "So this is the kind of bliss that normal people are able to enjoy; and take for granted." but I suppose it also highlighted that feeling so inferior to women is a mistake, that holding onto such a twisted perception actually keeps me shackled to loneliness. I mean, I'd already known that, that my sickness prevents me from being cured. That my intense craving for social interaction and a social life actually keeps me isolated. That placing women on a pedestal actually keeps them up there, on the pedestal, and not in my life. I was just given brand new material to think about, and it re-invited all my self-piteous feelings into my mind to savor again, so I thought I'd regurgitate them, again.

I really wish I had had better, more normal circumstances surrounding my birth and upbringing, so I didn't have to grow up to be this sick individual that I am.

[Naturegirl1999]

Not a sad, but not a happy either, just placing it here:

I had a very unique dream just now. I'll just give the highlight: I was sitting on a couch, and a girl I had a crush on in highschool (adult-ified; though I don't know how she actually looks nowadays) had sidled up close to me, and I was very intensely nervous. Being so close to someone I had idealized so much, and who I felt so very inferior to, was just overwhelming. I was trying to think of something to say or do that would be appropriate to the situation, but maybe it was something subtle like her body language or the way she looked at me, but she clearly communicated that she didn't think of me as a lesser, but as an equal and was happy to be there sitting next to me. That swept away the nervousness I was feeling, and without saying anything, we just relaxed and watched TV together. It was something boring and trivial on TV, so I pressed my bare foot against hers, and she pressed back, and it was just such a small gesture of affection, but I was just filled with happiness. Then I woke up.

I had to lay in bed for a while processing the dream; I was frustrated that it ended and it exacerbated the loneliness I feel all the time. The first thought that came to mind was "So this is the kind of bliss that normal people are able to enjoy; and take for granted." but I suppose it also highlighted that feeling so inferior to women is a mistake, that holding onto such a twisted perception actually keeps me shackled to loneliness. I mean, I'd already known that, that my sickness prevents me from being cured. That my intense craving for social interaction and a social life actually keeps me isolated. That placing women on a pedestal actually keeps them up there, on the pedestal, and not in my life. I was just given brand new material to think about, and it re-invited all my self-piteous feelings into my mind to savor again, so I thought I'd regurgitate them, again.

I really wish I had had better, more normal circumstances surrounding my birth and upbringing, so I didn't have to grow up to be this sick individual that I am.

There is a place where dreams are stored in text for those to read, this thread is independent of what emotions are caused by your dreams

[JoshuaFH]

I don't want to pollute the dream thread with my amateur psychoanalysis.

[hector13]

You don’t pollute nuffin’, mate. Your contributions are welcome.

[Eschar]

Indeed, they often help me understand myself better, or provide another perspective on feelings/habits I deal with.

[Yoink]

Are dreams about somehow managing to befriend or romance an unobtainable childhood crush not, like, the norm?   
I don't think I've had such a dream in a while, but there have definitely been a few. Actually I think I might have posted about the most recent one a couple months or so ago. Although technically I don't think I ever particularly crushed on the subject of that one back in the day, but it still counts I think.   

[JoshuaFH]

Are dreams about somehow managing to befriend or romance an unobtainable childhood crush not, like, the norm?   
I don't think I've had such a dream in a while, but there have definitely been a few. Actually I think I might have posted about the most recent one a couple months or so ago. Although technically I don't think I ever particularly crushed on the subject of that one back in the day, but it still counts I think.   

It was unique for me, as my dreamscape is mostly barren, rarely ever throwing me a morsel of a good fantasy like that one. Though I do have weird marathons of a couple days maybe every 6-12 months where it is very vivid dreams back-to-back; this very sweet dream was preceded by some extremely horrid nightmares the previous nights that I didn't feel obliged to mention.