I feel like I'm losing control over my life. I'm forced to go to these, er, 'cram schools', and it's getting very stressful. Lemme explain: after school, which ends anywhere from 12:30 am to 5:00 pm (depends on the day), I have to go to this fucking cram school to learn even more. I know that every parent wants their children to succeed, but for fuck's sake, why? By default, I'm entirely fine with it, but the class on Wednesday... it's hell.
See, that one ends at 10 pm. 10. Until 10-fucking-pm, I'm forced to sit under bright florescent lighting. I'm supposed to sleep at 11 pm. Oh, and since this cram school is so far away, a one-way trip takes an hour by car. I arrive home at 11 pm, and I still haven't had dinner, packed my bag for tomorrow, or anything of the sort. The house doesn't have dimmers, so full fucking brightness it is, then. "What's that, blue light messes with circadian rhythm at night? Nah, fuck that, here's some white light to burn your eyes off! Enjoy!"
At best, I sleep at 12 am, at worst... 2 am. 6 hours of sleep max. My sleep schedule is disrupted. I wake up fatigued. There's still another day of school. The cycle of hell continues. I feel increasingly worthless, and I can't tell if I'm losing it, or if it's justified. Am I just succumbing to the Teenage Hormones™, or is it a sign of something worse?