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[dragdeler]

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[Egan_BW]

(Computer games lost their luster? Come on down to Forum Games and Roleplaying for a taste of thrill that a machine GM just can't replicate! Try it now; first one's free. *waggles eyebrows*)

[MaximumZero]

Physical therapy is going well. I'm getting stronger day by day, and apparently making great progress. All of the physical therapists enjoy pushing me, and the fact that I want to be pushed. I just hate how slow everything is going. I still hurt like hell. Got downgraded from Norco to Tramadol (a big step down.) I go back to work on Jul 1, but that's too far away, and nobody at the office is returning my calls. I feel pretty isolated, although I did have some friends over yesterday and today. That helped immensely.

Progress X-ray for those of you following along at home:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[George_Chickens]

I've noticed I have lost a lot of the strength in my left arm over the last few days. I can't even grip properly now, which is pretty concerning.

[Yoink]

Dude, something similar happened to me a year or two ago. Lost a lot of feeling in my fingers and hand, as though I'd slept on it funny.
That reminds me, I should really call and see about the scans I got done all that time ago... pretty sure my left hand is still less dextrous than it was before, I've just gotten used to it.


@MZ: keep up the good work! Sounds like you're getting there.
Just be thankful you haven't gotten hooked on whatever painkillers they gave you, haha.

[ChairmanPoo]

Its probably carpal

[LordBaal]

Or could be the spine. My wife have something like that too, precisely on the left side(plus pain on the hip and leg) thanks to a hernia in a disk, and I have two fused vertebrae in the neck that make both my hands sleepy when in certain positions for too long.

[scriver]

Physical therapy is going well. I'm getting stronger day by day, and apparently making great progress. All of the physical therapists enjoy pushing me, and the fact that I want to be pushed. I just hate how slow everything is going. I still hurt like hell. Got downgraded from Norco to Tramadol (a big step down.) I go back to work on Jul 1, but that's too far away, and nobody at the office is returning my calls. I feel pretty isolated, although I did have some friends over yesterday and today. That helped immensely.

Progress X-ray for those of you following along at home:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Damned MZ they fixed you with lego people?

[JoshuaFH]

Even when I have two days off to myself, and I'm a nightshifter so I still have to spend it entirely at night, with nothing to do by psychologically masturbatory bullshit, i.e. play videogames, watch videos, write sad posts on Bay12, etcetera. All of it shit I ultimately don't care about, and the rest of the world is asleep, so it's not like there's anywhere to go or anything to do. I have the rare free time that I so desperately want... AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! I'm just so bored and frustrated, and I feel like I only have myself to blame. I just want to destroy my rotten shitty life, just burn it to the ground, and somehow rebuild it into something that's ACTUALLY WORTH SOMETHING.

I feel like I've never lived my life, I'm just lying on the ground and being dragged into the future.

[Yoink]

I feel like I've never lived my life, I'm just lying on the ground and being dragged into the future.

Deep. I feel that.
I don't have any actual advice, though, unless you can find weird nocturnal folks to socialise with in a way that you enjoy. I'm guessing a sweet-ass rave or metal gig most likely wouldn't appeal.   

[dragdeler]

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[Iduno]

It feels like, I'm being persecuted for something I did a long time ago.

I only did it because I was under incredible stress and frustration. As a comparison I played this game called Tharsis.
The astronauts make terrible decisions after their stress caps out.
This was a time of my life where I felt like I couldn't talk to anyone, not one person.
As well, this was a time of my life where my parents would never talk to me, pretty much only yelling at me to issue commands.
They were so frustrated with me, and I with them.

With no way to vent or develop proper coping habits, I simply abandoned all hope, and attempted to do what I was told.
I really shouldn't have.

I just did what I was told.

I hear you on that one. You might want to see a shrink about it, because mental stuff doesn't get better on its own.

[JoshuaFH]

Even when I have two days off to myself, and I'm a nightshifter so I still have to spend it entirely at night, with nothing to do by psychologically masturbatory bullshit, i.e. play videogames, watch videos, write sad posts on Bay12, etcetera. All of it shit I ultimately don't care about, and the rest of the world is asleep, so it's not like there's anywhere to go or anything to do. I have the rare free time that I so desperately want... AND NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! I'm just so bored and frustrated, and I feel like I only have myself to blame. I just want to destroy my rotten shitty life, just burn it to the ground, and somehow rebuild it into something that's ACTUALLY WORTH SOMETHING.

I feel like I've never lived my life, I'm just lying on the ground and being dragged into the future.

Missed this one.

Yeah, I know that feeling. It rears its head every so often, and when I'm feeling depressed it just kind of sits there.

I know it's not an option for you (At least not presently), but I found I have to do something physical with some sort of progress in it. Presently it's jiu jitsu for me, but it can be anything. Learning how to make something, some sort of exercise, whatever, it just has to have some sort of tangible process.

Socialising (in person) also helps. It doesn't fix it, but things never feel quite so gloomy after talking to good people that you like.

Just remember that if necessary, you may have to sacrifice your job. No point in having it if you're just going to feel like shit the rest of the time as a result.

Thanks everyone. I wish I had more real life friends to be able to converse face-to-face with on a day-to-day basis, or even a week-to-week basis, that'd make everything in my life a thousand times easier and better. Cause deep down, I know I'm exaggerating my ailments in life, I'm just a Sim who's Social meter is fully depleted and I'm forgetting my queued actions to throw a tantrum at the times when I actually have opportunity to do stuff.

I definitely want to sacrifice my job though, I'm still hoping to get into the Air Force, but that's been real slow going and I'm hoping I didn't screw anything up or make myself look stupid in front of my recruiter. For all the stories I've heard of military life being very hard and demanding, it can't be half as demanding as the psychological stress of feeling alone, unused, unneeded, bored, and worthless. If I can make something of myself and change my life, that'd transform the pitiful malaise I've been living in into a real paradise.

I hope that optimism doesn't come off as facile wishful thinking.

[Eric Blank]

I've been off my meds for two weeks and everything makes me angry, or sad. I want to kill everyone I interact with and then myself. And here I thought a weeks advance notice should be more than enough time to get a doctor's appointment, but no, they were booked out two weeks ahead already on every day I have off, and of course my doctor goes home by the time I get off work, and won't just give me a one months supply since my appointment is a month out Because fuck me, right?

[Yoink]

Jeez, that's rough.
Thanks for reminding me to take my meds, though...