Messaged my ex, apologized for being an asshole last week, brought up some things to fix our friendship (bitch session, having others call us out on shit that's not ok rather than getting defensive on things, etc.)
I don't want the friendship to end, but I hope I can pull the impossible a second time and change her mind
The only thing I said involving her at all last week was she insulted me by saying she wanted to not be friends until D&D time, going back to an earlier talk where we all told her she expected everyone to bend over backwards for her but she didn't have to do anything (I mentioned this earlier, but she shot down every suggestion for our vacation, contributed nothing, backed out a month in advance, but at the very last minute, DEMANDED that she joins us). I told her how its not even possible to even do as she wanted because she puts headphones on for drives (which she didn't do the last time we had lots of driving, and we had plenty of nice chats, and an all around good time for everyone) and she, like me, goes 100% focus into D&D and doesn't get distracted when we play, so its less she won't do it cause she doesn't want to but rather she won't because she wouldn't really be able to.
I'm waiting for a response and I mentioned to her I DO want a response back from her if we still stay friends or not, if she has reasons or not, or whatever. I'm sad mostly because I know how she is, I know my luck is piss poor and my talking skills only go so far.
Having Gnossienne No. 1 on repeat while doing homework prior to this didn't help any to be fair...