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[ChairmanPoo]

Met a leaver from my old school in a job interview today, and their frank advice has fucked me up proper. Can't believe it, I am trembling slightly with the weight of the decision. I honestly think I'm going to turn down three good job offers with salaries I have no right of refusing to instead try get a job teaching English in China for a salary which will cover upkeep. All of my friends and family are divided on the issue, the majority are against it but sympathetic nonetheless, a not insignificant number are against it in totality. The one person I trust entirely I haven't been able to contact for two weeks, and I don't know where they are. I have to trust in my own judgement that I know what I am pursuing, and when your judgement goes against the advice of everyone you have absolute faith in, the pressure hurts. I know if I met someone like myself I would advise them to take the path of economic security first and pursue all else later, and to have such a confidence in myself goes against my own view that I am not a person who refuses job offers, or can refuse them. Most can't fathom why I'd try so hard to get to this phase just to reject the offers on the assumption that I will be able to find good employment later. My own conscience accuses me of madness or arrogance. The advice I received however was to be confident, and not make the mistake of letting yourself be forced into taking the first offer you get, which in my case has been aided by the added pressure of a particularly aggressive recruiter, and naturally intense family politick. The advice cuts deep with its biting accuracy. What_am_I_doing?

LW: as someone who has moved abroad with all the risks and perks it entails...

I kind of agree with your friend. You have to strike a balance between security and enterprise, and I think that's what "not taking the first offer you get" is about. There's a saying which translates poorly, but applies to this sort of situations: "If you ride to Paris in a donkey you'll only know the stables of Paris".

What I mean with this is that's important getting the best job you can, because moving up will be easier the higher you start and the more resources you have. Conversely, if you go to a job for which you're overqualified "to prove your worth", you'll find it harder to climb up, and you wont get help from.your employers: they hired you for low job X, after all, not for high job Y. And you'll burn out sooner rather than latter.

So TL, DR I'm not telling you NOT to leave. It's an enriching experience. But consider your options carefully; I agree with your friend, you dont have to take the first thing shaken in your general direction

[SalmonGod]

So long as you are accurate in determining your own value and where the potential closest match is between that value and what you want, you should continue holding out as much as possible for that thing.  Be cautious not to trap yourself in a situation that diminishes your ability to watch for that opportunity, or to take it when it comes along.

[Loud Whispers]

Thanks for the advice guys

[LordBaal]

I would advice get the financial security first, then you can travel to China or wherever you feel like latter. But depending on how adventurous you are or how much a change you need, that could not fulfill you properly.

Of course the economic path would be my choice heavily biased on the current experiences I'm having so it doesn't count.

Another point, if you have responsibilities with others (read children) then that should weight even more.

Whatever you choose, don't abandon us.

[Loud Whispers]

For added context I weigh up China more heavily than any other random country, since literacy in Mandarin is my objective, and this complicates the financial dimension considerably. It's risky, but leads to a potential even better than if I settle for a job in the City now. Most importantly, the difference in my motivations for the two is vast. Responsibility-wise I've got my ship in order (well, I may have to cancel on that Atlantic voyage with my neighbour). The fundamental means of progress are there, while it's doing twice of what I love

Whatever you choose, don't abandon us.

As long as I'm on land I'm on bay12 hahaha, I like everyone here too much to leave. But I remember a post

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

All of Bay12, even the lurkers with no accounts, gets together and sings a grand opera for all time. The forums go cold due to the lack of anyone visiting. Toady, left with no audience for his masterpiece, begins to get discouraged, and donations from users stop. He takes down the site, and cancels production on Dwarf Fortress. We keep singing, for days on end, of the lifeless forums and the forgotten wonder that is DF, until one by one we drop into death, forever removed from this realm. The opera, once bright and happy at its beginning, speaking of mad exploits of Ciro and Sankis, turns dark, lamenting the death of our unique place on the internet, one nigh empty of trolling, and longing for what could have been a massive revolution to gaming, and a testament to what a single man can accomplish. When, mercifully, the opera does end, it is the fat lady who sings, though not at a soprano pitch, but instead as a mere whimper as she too slips into death.

I hope the day never comes

[LordBaal]

In that case, if it means ultimately you'll be happier....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

go to China, and Godspeed!

[TamerVirus]

[LordBaal]

Just promise to make a scale on Turkey (the country, not the poultry), and hit chef salt bae in the face for serving the pig of a overlord we have for gorging on one of his restaurants while children here die of hunger everyday.

[Kagus]

Is this the time for me to link that vitriolic rant against learning Mandarin, due to its propensity to land you a job in mainland China?

[MrRoboto75]

Part of me worries I'm simply too autistic to ever really get past the interview stage of job seeking.

[LordBaal]

Part of me worries I'm simply too autistic to ever really get past the interview stage of job seeking.

You'll never know if you never try? I'm sure you are a wonderful lad with those horrible self esteem issues that eat some of us from time to time.

On my own sad, my wife and kid are sleeping, have like 5 hours or so since we arrived from the doctor. I'm going trough the spreadsheet with all our expenses and incomes and thankfully we made 0 this month so far. That means no losses, but also no gains, I'm gonna have to find some ways to cut expenses somewhere and that usually means Baal's food.

Also spending a weekday afternoon here at home without actually working is... eerie?

[Loud Whispers]

Is this the time for me to link that vitriolic rant against learning Mandarin, due to its propensity to land you a job in mainland China?

Is that from the one Canadian who regreted becoming every company's "speaks mandarin" guy?

[Kagus]

Is this the time for me to link that vitriolic rant against learning Mandarin, due to its propensity to land you a job in mainland China?

Is that from the one Canadian who regreted becoming every company's "speaks mandarin" guy?

This thing. I don't recall the fellow being Canadian.

Image is a weird size, some zooming/resizing will likely be necessary. Oh well, it's 1:16 AM. Brain checked out a long time ago.

[Loud Whispers]

That's the one. The other infamous one being the Indonesian who hated China with the passion of a billion genocides

[dragdeler]

-snip-