While not all sad, I've mostly been posting here about my garbage and mostly just posting an update.
Went on vacation from work, turned out to be equal parts exhausting and stressful. Traveled a lot, was the only driver, everyone either got sick or was getting sick, had a huge argument between my ex and myself with my group of friends over her deciding last minute she wanted to join us (didn't fly, especially since she didn't ask, she DEMANDED she be brought along because she claims shouldn't have to ask permission for something she claimed she was part of). It went well overall, but it wasn't as relaxing as I had liked.
Work went from a manageable mess to a dumpster fire to a fucking trainwreck in the span of when my boss went on vacation over a month ago when renovations started in my department and everyone decided they aren't gonna do anymore work, and then I went on vacation and no one save for two people did any work at all. Now the dumpster fire has become a trainwreck because the two people plus the department manager all quit/transferred and I'm about to leave myself, but I'm at the point where I'm gonna be barely caught in the radius since I'm apparently done at that store come Thursday. So we have no department management to keep anyone working, we have no one except me who wants to do work or knows what to do (no one is training the newbies) and no one is replacing the people leaving. Its already become a disaster because people are calling in sick because no one is holding anyone accountable and taking several days off in a row. Place is falling apart and I'm about to hop off the train. It sucks because I'm sore and tired, but I'm also laughing my ass off because Southern Ontario's supposed biggest and best Walmart is about to lose a fuckload of sales because they have nothing but useless workers working their produce department (which they're the only Walmart in the area that makes a profit).
I'm moving into my buddy's place this weekend, although if my mother keeps up with her shitty attitude and her drinking, I'm just gonna hire a U-Haul and get the last bit of my shit over ASAP. I'm nervous but I know whatever happens, it will be better than being at home where I'm stressed and locking myself in my room all day.
I mentioned my ex and the argument we had, and I'll go a bit more into it because there WAS a good out of it. So the whole thing happened where she kind of forced herself into joining our groups vacation this year (we didn't want to because she backed out last year at the last minute because we said we can't go to Toronto because half of our group was unemployed at the time). We brought her along, expecting things would be different. She didn't contribute, she refuted almost every suggestion and then a few weeks before it happened, she backed out minus a few days where we would be playing D&D and video games because she's become unemployed and she wanted to save money for vacation for her freinds. Miscommunicaton happened (or rather lack of it) and everyone thought she was joining her friends while we were going away. Turns out, she didn't tell anyone it was expected in the winter for that but she comes up the day vacation starts saying "I want to join you guys for the flea markets in Grand Bend", thinking she could just join back up again (note that we decided since she wasn't coming that I would be staying in a town an hour away from my ex with the rest of the group. If she decided to join us otherwise, I would've stayed at home and brought her along every day). I snapped at her because I had to stress the fuck out of myself by making everyone happy by enforcing a super rigid schedule for us to follow since one person refused to not go to mass/leave early, and the flea market was only sunday, and throw on top of that, if we left the person going to mass, another person wouldn't go and then a third person wouldn't go, so I had to bargain with the one going to mass (asking if she can somehow convince the pastor who are her foster parents to let mass out early), yelling at my friend who was gonna refuse to go if the other two that she can still go to church, and promising to drive like a drug dealer escaping the cops (AKA driving at almost unsafe and clearly illegal speeds), and this put a large amount of stress on me day 1. Then 20 minutes before I was scheduling to pick up the friend from church, my ex messages me asking to join us for the flea market. I told her it was too late and I immediately ignored her. One drive going 140km/h later, I end up making it to the flea market with an hour and a half to spend time there. THE WHOLE TIME, my ex starts messaging me asking me and my friends to look for stuff for her. I snapped and told her no because she backed out. I think her child-like mindset kicked in because she ignored me and listened to my friend she often pushes around who said he'd look for stuff for her. Didn't find anything, and the next day, she was joining us for D&D. She asked again "what time are you guys coming to get me tomorrow to join you?" when we already made it clear she wasn't invited. Silence fell over my car because my friends didn't want to say anything and I was about ready to kick her out of my car for the gall on her. All throughout the day, even before this, she ignored everyone, when we stopped anywhere, she would run ahead and ignore/avoid everyone, and then when D&D happened, she left before we could even get things started in a temper tantrum where she guilt tripped my one friend who always has a guilty concense when she talks to him, my other friend went up to go talk to her as well and after a while, it was clear she wasn't gonna be joining us and me and the most level headed of us (the one who refused to leave mass) drove her home. The drive was awful because it was dead silence until my friend spoke up to my ex about why we didn't ask her to come along. She then ranted on about how we weren't treating her like friends and kept saying how she shouldn't have to negotiate being our friend. What made me snap at her was she said "you guys are some good friends if you can't even think to have me along". I admit that I went off the deep end for a bit but my friend held me back after my first statement where I yelled right at her saying how her idea of friendship was fucked up because she gave a friend of ours muffins for doing dungeons with her in WoW, but when he stopped, she freaked out and yelled at him saying how awful he was for not helping her. I then told her several things she did to me over the course of the year (we broke up around that time last year) and I told her if she doesn't want to be my friend because I'm her ex, thats fine, but that doesn't excuse her behavior which was borderline psychopathic (she chastised me for a compliment that she said wasn't good, and then my friend says the exact same thing the exact same way and she continues to chastise me by saying that that is how I compliment her).
After we dropped her off, she proceeded to message EVERYONE in the group. Everyone but myself ignored her due to everyone having high tensions about the whole situation. I told her how she needs to change, how I know I have a problem with my anger but know that I'm like a pop bottle that's shaken, where I'll burst if its too much (which, as I said, I've put up with nearly abusive behavior from her for about a year now). I told her its not a friendship if we have to bend our backs for her but she refuses to do anything to contribute (as I've said with her about the vacation). I told her how its not ok to force herself into things but not be part of (such as joining us for a convo/snacks/D&D but never actually being part of the group). I said more, but the whole thing must've rattled her to her core, because she came up later saying how she's gonna be better by doing certain things (and then she comes up like 20 minutes later saying thats what I said she needed to do to better herself when we had a talk about this a while back). I actually think she took it well, because when we brought her with us for two days, it was unbelievable how cooperative she was. She actually went with us to see Christopher Robin, which she was deadset against from the start because she saw it was a "children's movie" and "not for adults" and she actually enjoyed it. It was incredible seeing her step out of her comfort zone and seeing her enjoying everything. I may be her ex, but I'm very glad she was enjoying everything despite being like a spoiled child about most of it.
Oh, and for the record, Christopher Robin made me cry throughout most of the movie. There's always a line in it that breaks my heart from it and its the one where Pooh and Christopher Robin are talking about how old they will live for. It was different in the movie but the meaning was still there (the line is "If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus a day so I never have to live a day without you")
One last thing that is a sad is that I'm still waiting for a call from the other store for me to go over there, but I've heard nothing and its causing me more and more stress every day, thinking that they don't want me or they already gave the positions away. My boss tells me not to worry, but I can't help it. I REALLY don't want to move to another town and be unemployed...