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[MrRoboto75]

Indeed.com has made changes to the application process that make it entirely useless for applying for jobs.  Fuck this planet, I can never understand it.

[Egan_BW]

The planet earth is a bigass rock that's hot on the inside, and that's covered in a thin layer of water. It spins on through the void, blissfully unaware of such silly things as "humanity". The things growing on earth's surface are a little more enigmatic, but generally consume sunlight, replicate themselves, and change slowly into slightly different organisms.
So in the end, only a very small proportion of the things you see are acting irrationally. The rest is a machine that works perfectly well.

So don't blame the planet, blame a really quite small subset of the apes that you share a species with. Those are the things that are messed up.

[Hanslanda]

We are all hairless bipedal talking apes living on an organic spaceship orbiting a nuclear explosion. Stop taking everything so seriously.

[MrRoboto75]

We are all hairless bipedal talking apes living on an organic spaceship orbiting a nuclear explosion. Stop taking everything so seriously.

Fine, guess I'll just starve to death on the side of the road.  Assuming the government doesn't hunt my ass down first over un-bankruptable debt.  Its just a little income.

[Hanslanda]

Yeah, I think you didn't get the point I was trying to make. Life is crazy, don't beat yourself up because it's all screwed up. Just do your best.

[MrRoboto75]

Yeah, I think you didn't get the point I was trying to make. Life is crazy, don't beat yourself up because it's all screwed up. Just do your best.

I've been trying for well over a year.  I have nothing.

[LordBaal]

There must be something. Think. Anything. Playing cards, roleplaying? Miniatures? Chess? Videogames? Painting? Writing? Whatever.

Edit: Just heard the news Brazil is taking no more refugees or immigrants via Roraima. The noose is tightening.

[ggamer]

And Roboto, you are a human.  You deserve to live, to thrive.

Existence doesn't earn you anything in the United States.

It'd earn something from me; if I knew you, and if we were friends, I wouldn't expect you to give me anything. It earns something from your mother, obviously, if she's still giving you work.

I've been trying for well over a year.  I have nothing.

Then keep trying, fool. You expect to find happiness when you've been driven to the depths of despair after only looking for "well over a year?" You insult everyone you know and love by saying that. If you can't find a reason to keep going, then at least do it for them. If you want to find worth in life, then make people happy (within reasonable limits). The rest comes in time.

[dragdeler]

-snip-

[Rowanas]

And Roboto, you are a human.  You deserve to live, to thrive.

Existence doesn't earn you anything in the United States.

It'd earn something from me; if I knew you, and if we were friends, I wouldn't expect you to give me anything. It earns something from your mother, obviously, if she's still giving you work.

I've been trying for well over a year.  I have nothing.

Then keep trying, fool. You expect to find happiness when you've been driven to the depths of despair after only looking for "well over a year?" You insult everyone you know and love by saying that. If you can't find a reason to keep going, then at least do it for them. If you want to find worth in life, then make people happy (within reasonable limits). The rest comes in time.

Ok, to give a different perspective - If you're searching and searching and putting forth all the required effort but you still aren't happy, it might be bad luck that'll clear up soon.  On the other hand, it might be that you're doomed to suffer for as long as you continue living, because your conditions for happiness are sadly out of reach for you.  From a purely utilitarian stance, what ggamer said can still apply in that second case -  If you can make other people happy enough that it counters your unhappiness (and the potential happiness-value of the resources it takes to maintain you), then you are still contributing.  From a purely selfish point of view (and that's justified - no one has any right to ask you to suffer indefinitely just to keep them entertained) it might not be worth it.  Lots of people are obsessed with forcing miserable people to continue living in misery for ever and ever - apparently to them, life is more important than the enjoyment of life.  I personally find that bizarre and even straight-up evil.

[Kagus]

I just keep getting more and more depressed every time I get into a depressive state and I'm becoming concerned about my ability to continue resisting the suicidal impulses that come. I feel like a monolith at the edge of the sea, feeling the waves eroding my base, knowing someday I won't be able to resist the waves anymore. They'll take just enough more and I'll topple.

So this was a while back, and I know it's shitty to drag up old in-the-moment posts, but I just wanted you to realize something that's helped me out a few times. I'll probably freak the hell out of a number of people by saying it, but ah well.

You know where the gun is. You know how it works, and you're physically capable of operating it if needs be. There is a way out, and it's within your grasp.

I want you to think about that for a bit. There is always a way out. No matter how shitty, how run-down, how completely fucked up life gets, there will always be a way out. You will never be trapped, you will never be powerless, because you know where that door is and how to open it. It's a heavy door, and there's no coming back inside from it, but you know where it is and you know how to open it. You've even reminded yourself of it a few times, with the barrel against your head and finger near the trigger, to remember that there is always a way out.

The fact that you're still here means you haven't needed it yet. That's probably not a huge comfort, but it should at least be worth noting. Every day that passes is a day you had a way out and didn't need to use it. It is entirely within your power, and it is entirely your choice. You will never be trapped.



In other news, meds really do help. Well, so long as they're the right meds, of course... Might need to try out a few different types before finding the one that works for you, but they really make the bottom a lot shallower. Your dick will probably yell at you, but it does that anyways so fuck it.

[Hanslanda]

Yeah well my

Spoiler: Adult thing (click to show/hide)

dick only halfway works anyway so he can shut the fuck up.

You make a good, albeit terrifying to most, point. Sometimes I feel like I have no way out because I have a son who is entirely dependant on me and my job, but I could bail. I guess I'm not as weak as I thought, at least not for the foreseeable future.

[Rowanas]

Yeah well my

Spoiler: Adult thing (click to show/hide)

dick only halfway works anyway so he can shut the fuck up.

You make a good, albeit terrifying to most, point. Sometimes I feel like I have no way out because I have a son who is entirely dependant on me and my job, but I could bail. I guess I'm not as weak as I thought, at least not for the foreseeable future.

Hah, the ease and certainty of death turns it from strength to weakness.  I can't jump yet because I'm uncertain and scared I might bugger it up and have to lie at the bottom of a cliff in unbearable agony until -eventually- I die, or worse yet, get found and "saved" with life-changing injuries.  When I manage it, it'll be an act of strength and bravery.  If I had a gun, I'd've done it already, because that shit's easy.

If the people around depend on you, make sure you put everything into place to secure their future first, or even better make it look like an accident so that they can collect your life insurance.

On Kagus' point - technically we all always have a way out.  For instance, no one has ever been trapped in their job unless they were literally trapped.  You can always flip birds and go live on a boat, but practically we may as well not have the option.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You said you wanted to do dangerous things, so why not cocktail some Prozac and Viagra together, see how that works for you? Also pack horse tranquillisers into a kinder egg and take it as a suppository, I dunno.

[dragdeler]

-snip-

[Rolan7]

I don't know whether it's good advice or not, Kagus, but I also appreciated having that "door" available.  At some point during my parents' divorce I had a similar line of reasoning, and suddenly I was no longer trapped.  I went from being a helpless victim, to being strong enough to stick around and maybe even comfort some people involved.

I had fantasies about quitting, but I knew I wouldn't.  It was enough to have the option, simply to not be trapped.

I do feel like that strategy had some effects, though.  I often got really weird about being "trapped" in social situations (particularly overnight visits).  And associating emotional pain with virtue/purpose... in formative years... well, that can lead in various directions.

Still, I survived and worked harder rather than shutting down, and got away carved out a nice simple, independent life.  Too nice And since I moved closer to my RL friends, I've become a lot less reclusive and anxious, heh.  Exposure therapy!