I just lost a friend for the first time in my life. I've moved away from friends before. But there's a difference between moving away from a friend(literally, moving away, moving to a different location) and losing a friend.
I don't have many friends. Scratch that, I don't have any friends. Online or in meatspace... and it's even worse in meatspace. Online, at least I still have a nice mafia game development buddy. Maybe that counts as a friendship. I dunno. I have some nice mafia acquaintances. I have some nice god game acquaintances. The list goes on. But actual friends? People I can confide in? Speak my secrets to? Zilch. Zero. Kaput. In meatspace, I don't even have acquaintances.
I used to think that I could be an island. A lone man, standing in a sea of people. No friends, because nobody really needs friends. With time and age, I came to realize that this viewpoint is stupid. Technically, nobody needs friends. Technically. When you need to talk to somebody, about the things you don't even tell your family about, friends help. When you want to share your interests and build your passions, friends help. Technically we can live without friends. But it's bloody stupid and bloody hard. Even for someone like me.
I don't think I'm getting the friend I'm referring to back, for reasons that I won't discuss for their sake. I guess I'll see about making a new one, then. New ones. Online first, because that's easier. And then... well, I'm going to college soon. I hope that's the opportunity I'll need to make some meatspace friends. I really do hope so.