Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[x2yzh9]

Came to the realization today that my mother is an abusive psychopath. After drugging me from the age of 12 and onwards(when every single one of the pills she gave me had a big, big 'black-box' warning from the FDA saying it was going to make me MORE suicidal) up until I chose to say fuck it, I'm not risking it one more time-If they call the police on me for something, I'm running. Like, that's it. When the cops come if they can't charge me with a crime and they take the side of my parents..which they always have, historically, then if I havn't actually committed a crime the opposite end of the spectrum is that they can't prosecute me for a crime, so they illegally put me on a 5150 hold. Except I'm not afforded due process. Amazing, and I really hope someone goes to jail for this stupid situation I've had to throw myself in.

[ChairmanPoo]

Consider going to a hospital. I think you are unwell

[Doomblade187]

x2, if you are American, running from the cops may be a... dangerous venture. Just saying. Also, it sounds like the medication your mom was giving you when you were younger was some sort of psychological one. Do you recall having a positive or negative reaction when you took it?

[LordBaal]

That's the most common fear in the world pal. For once, you can opt out to live in denial of your own mortality, accept it as part of the human condition, or hope scientific advances can keep pushing death farther and farther fast enough for you to never reach it (which is honestly a fantasy/denial anyway).

Don't know your age, I would guess you are young or something happening recently that made you ponder on death?

I started to fear death, truly fear it the first day I feel in love.

I started to dread death almost to an irrational point the day we knew our son existed.

I was petrified of death the day I held my son for the first time.

The curious thing is that I don't fear it for me, I fear for them, for the sorrow it would cause them and generally their fate if I'm gone or the irreparably hollow it would remain in my life if I had the tremendous misfortune of losing them. Never pondered much of the afterwards of it.

Ironically I came to accept death as part of the human condition long before thanks to the string of personal loses I have had. I know that a son comes to bury his father and for as painful as it, it's far more painful and unnatural the other way around.

[EnigmaticHat]

Spoiler: political (click to show/hide)

It looks like Republicans are going to get a 5/4 majority in the supreme court.

It just feels like they've won you know?  So much power has been transferred via non-democratic methods in the past 2 years.  The Republicans basically breaking the entire senate to get what they want (twice), the election meddling, Comey being a dumbass, non-enforcement of ethics rules.  Now this is happening, which is how things are supposed to work, but in the Supreme Court should have been 5/3 favoring democrats with a mostly conservative swing vote.

Don't get me wrong, I truly believe Republican politicians are having a bad time and in the coming years they're going to have a worse time.  The problem is that this supreme court pick is going to linger, potentially long after generational shift changes the rest of the government.

[redwallzyl]

I'm scared. Of... death, I guess. Rather, the nothingness or 'paradise' that is supposed to come after it.

This is relatively new. But I realized that there's a lot of feelings that I'm chasing, but... I don't want to be them, I want to...ride them. Do something that.... the world... no, I've never known before.

But being those feelings, if everything becomes that because that's what I spent my life chasing... That terrifies me. So do some other possibilities. And I don't wanna live scared. I don't think I can... But what choice would I have?

I think the question of what happens after death is an incredibly easy and incredibly difficult one to answer. After all, all I'm looking for in an answer is something that I like. But then I have to make myself believe it.

Have you tried religion? It's fairly good at alleviating that sort of thing. That dosen't mean go become super religions just find a comforting spirituality. There is a very good reason humans are spiritual and this is a major part of it. And the best part of it is that you get to consciously choose what you believe in which is a much truer belief then just inheriting it. That's my advice anyway.

[Egan_BW]

Hmm. Fear of death is probably healthy, I'd say. That doesn't mean that just because you fear death, you have to build your life around fear of death. Life is long (longer than many things) and humans are adaptable, so you can go and accomplish plenty of different things, and feel different things, and be different things. Don't be afraid of being "locked in" to any particular feeling, because you are more than just one feeling.

As for "what's supposed to happen after death", I'd advise you to not worry too hard about it. A lot of people treat it as the most important thing in the world, but you don't have to.

[KittyTac]

Or you could become super materialistic and hope that scientific advances could make you immortal. Like I did. It actually works! I ditched religion for that sort of thing.

[Egan_BW]

If you go that way, I just wish for you to not just hope, but work to make it reality. Every second closer you drag technological immortality closer will save lives, after all.

Though, really that just means putting the problem off. For a really damn long time, sure, but "until the stars die and nothing remains but super massive black holes" is not the same as "forever". Which is where "what comes after" inevitably comes up. In which case, I'll just say that "nothing" is a far more comforting concept than "nothingness". It's not like being trapped in a dark hole.

[Reelya]

I'm scared. Of... death, I guess. Rather, the nothingness or 'paradise' that is supposed to come after it.

This is relatively new. But I realized that there's a lot of feelings that I'm chasing, but... I don't want to be them, I want to...ride them. Do something that.... the world... no, I've never known before.

But being those feelings, if everything becomes that because that's what I spent my life chasing... That terrifies me. So do some other possibilities. And I don't wanna live scared. I don't think I can... But what choice would I have?

I think the question of what happens after death is an incredibly easy and incredibly difficult one to answer. After all, all I'm looking for in an answer is something that I like. But then I have to make myself believe it.

Don't worry, you'll get used to not existing pretty quickly. Permadeath is a PITA but it's not really scary.

[LordBaal]

I would imagine the human mind is not made for living past that many years anyway. Given the choice I would like to live between something along 400 years up to a couple, three thousand years tops, part of what make life what it is, is the fact that it eventually ends.

PD: I forgot the religious approach on my past post.

[KittyTac]

If you go that way, I just wish for you to not just hope, but work to make it reality. Every second closer you drag technological immortality closer will save lives, after all.

Though, really that just means putting the problem off. For a really damn long time, sure, but "until the stars die and nothing remains but super massive black holes" is not the same as "forever". Which is where "what comes after" inevitably comes up. In which case, I'll just say that "nothing" is a far more comforting concept than "nothingness". It's not like being trapped in a dark hole.

Well, I would rather live 10^100 years than 80. Technological utopia is worth abandoning spirituality. It might require changing the entire human body and a good part of the mind, but eh. Worth it.

[hector13]

The fuck do you want to live anywhere over regular lifespan for. Existence is so tedious

[KittyTac]

The fuck do you want to live anywhere over regular lifespan for. Existence is so tedious

Better than cessation of existence, anyways. Anything is better than that.

[Rolan7]

I plan to live forever, of course, but barring that I'd settle for a couple thousand years. Even five hundred would be pretty nice.

Sounds nice, but it's completely outside our experience.  Living even 200 years is basically inconceivable.

Some sci-fi (Schlock Mercenary, El Goonish Shive) has immortal people "reset" periodically, storing lived experience as accessible "reference material".  Devoid of personal connection... Sadly, deleting most of the emotional context.

I feel like it's either that, or just discarding memories wholesale like the lotus-eaters, which is horrible in its own way.