Could it be posibble that your selfhate is part of the problem. I mean, you are a dwarf fortress player and I'm yet to see someone dumb here.
The fact we meet on this formun alone speaks volumes of you, at least for me.
How old are you again? The most important thing here is how you feel about yourself. No you are NOT a piece of shit, you are one of the greatest marvels on the universe, of which there's only 7 billions, which might seem much but it's not in the breath scheme of things.
You are the product of millions of years of evolution, which right now culminate on you until you pass on the torch. You are a winer alone for that!
You live in a great nation, and I'm sure that if you get it together doors will open and opportunities will arise because it's not your degree, or whatever your family or people around you tell you, its a matter of how confident you are and you have all the tools there pal.
Think in this, while I'm tipping this I'm skipping breakfast simply because I can't afford to have it. I live in a failed nation under a criminal government that seeks to starve me and my family every fucking day, they don't want us to scape or die, just to keep us prisoner here for the longest time they can, and yet, I keep going, with no sleep, scarce food and all bets and bureaucracy against us.
I know everyone's problems are very subjective and relative and you might give a grand total of 0 fucks with 0 cents about some douchebag struggling on a third world communist hell hole but what I'm trying to convey is: you could have it a lot worst. Try to conquer this state of mind you are right now, don't be so harsh on yourself And you'll find yourself in a better stop soon.
If somebody told me 15 years ago that I was to marry the most beautiful woman in the world, was gonna have a nice job for 10 years in a row and a heart melting son, I would have make them committed for madness. Simply don't give up my friend.
I'm telling you, just as sure that Ill make sure my family scapes this country, you'll have better times if you just allow yourself to be. Stop punishing yourself, stop taking negative shit from others and focus on you, on getting over with the situation and finding a way out of the jam.
If you want to pm me it's fine too.