Was mentioned, but yeah... ):
Unrelated, I'm sad that I'm feeling better today. I just "got over it" again, because it was always irrational. I forced myself to hike and its grip is broken. Could I have done so earlier? Who knows.
I even sat with a stranger at a bar, complimented his $100 custom growler, and we chatted about hiking and the eclipse over a single pint each.
It wasn't fake, I had a legit good time and will feel even better after I hike the 3k back home. But it never lasts.
Heh, like a Daeva vampire. Everything just becomes dull and uninteresting, until I torpor a while. Fucked up dreams and sobriety and all.
But for now, at least, life feels good. So I'll make the most of it.
Edit: Also first they announce charmander event the day I finish evolving a charizard, then they put Aron everywhere when I've been walking it for a month?
It's fine, 4x walking candy will help me kick my own ass.
Edit2: When I recovered and went out, one order of business was socks. The first pair I picked up were no-shows.
"These are a bad idea for a hike. There'll be chafing." I thought.
And then just this bizarre nothingness. I was thinking about it even as I set out, stone sober, enjoying the endorphins. Why? How would I describe this?
It was neither "yay pain" or "oh bad idea". It was almost alien, yet so familiar.
...Challenge? Duty? ...Machismo?
Maybe just a satisfaction of "Life is nothing without hardship". There needs to be hardship.
Which is still disgusting, and it doesn't take the past into account, but that's mental illness I guess.