Class stress getting to me. Sister has joined my parents in being plastered all the time, making me the only one ever sober in my own home. Hours are getting cut and when they call me in, its last minute and I have to cancel everything for it. Possible spinal injuries (getting x-rayed for it because bodily function is fucking up) that can range from a harmless cyst pushing on nerves to spinal cancer/misaligned spine on top of a minorly infected but very painful finger injury.
And to throw more shit onto the ever growing fire, my friends are debating on pulling out on moving out. Its getting to the point I'm willing to kill myself financially to just get this going. I may have to give up on moving to Sweden, but I cant go there anyway if I lose all hope of living by being stuck in a cesspool of depression and misery that I call home.
I can't live here any longer and to only find out my last ticket out of this place is in jeopardy? Everything is terrible
And if you say move out on my own, explain to me how I'm supposed to live off of 600$ per month for food, rent, and other necessities? The main reason why I'm leaving town is because the walmart out where we were moving to is in need of workers so the plan was to transfer there and get away from the drama and 12-13 hours a week at 14$ CDN an hour
EDIT:
For an idea how terrible i feel about things now, I went through rehab, never smoke/drank and today I almosy took a detour to a bar on my way home from my workout