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[smjjames]

Fucking geeze, how can the government let things get so bad? (rhetorical question as theres really no answer to that)

I know you said that it's a bit of a matter of pride to not leave without a passport, but can't you just leave as refugees? It's been said that other neghboring countries are taking in refugees. It does sound a bit like your wife has some connections in Columbia, which could help if you go there.

I certainly feel like the US has a bit of a moral authority to go in and fix it straight, but we all know that's never going to work, both because of our history in the region and general history with toppling regiemes and then things going bad.

Maybe other South American countries can stage an intervention with the US standing by to help if needed?

It just seems like there should be food riots and protesting all over the place, but clearly the government has a tight lid on it.

[TD1]

I'd say the less the US interferes, the better.

[smjjames]

I'd say the less the US interferes, the better.

Yeah probably, considering that we already have a past reputation as seeing and treating South America, Central America, and the Carribean as our personal stomping grounds. Still do actually..

[Puzzlemaker]

My brother just spent two months in Columbia, actually.  Says it's surprisingly safe, after the ceasefire.  He may end up going back.  If you make it over, and he's down there, let me know.  I can ask him to help you out, or at least buy you a beer.

Seriously though, American money goes a long way down there.  How much money, in american dollars, do you need to get a passport?  If it's not much, it will be fine to help you out.

[Eric Blank]

Welp i got fired last night. Hurray for unemployment

[smjjames]

Welp i got fired last night. Hurray for unemployment

Can I ask how come you got fired?

[LordBaal]

Welp i got fired last night. Hurray for unemployment

That sucks a lot pal. Hang in there, you'll find something soon enough.

[helmacon]

My conviction is to work honestly to earn things, that's how I was raised and that's the example I want to give to my son. On the other hand pressing needs may force me to accept any goodwill help offered, but all registered with documents and payback compromises, all noted on a ledger to pay back everything. 

Honest work is a fine principal to hold to in an honest system, but from your posts it doesn't sound much like an honest system. I don't have much myself, but I could definitely spare a few bucks to help you get a passport.

[LordBaal]

My conviction is to work honestly to earn things, that's how I was raised and that's the example I want to give to my son. On the other hand pressing needs may force me to accept any goodwill help offered, but all registered with documents and payback compromises, all noted on a ledger to pay back everything. 

Honest work is a fine principal to hold to in an honest system, but from your posts it doesn't sound much like an honest system. I don't have much myself, but I could definitely spare a few bucks to help you get a passport.

Well, someone with a huge heart already gave me 20$ over paypal. Now, it doesn't sound like the big deal, but for us... that is food and bills of a month. Tomorrow we'll go buying groceries and vegetables for the rest of the month! That will give me the chance to find something to do with a more leveled head. It's awesome we'll get enough protein again! Thank you very much.

In case you read this, my wife also thanks you, she cried of joy for a lot of time.

[highmax28]

This song and OST

Throw on top of that, realizing some thing in my life are pretty much gonna be how it is from now on. Drunk parents, a sister who gets off on picking on/humiliating me, a field/industry where my chances of success are slim, and the realization that no matter how hard I work out or clean up the mild acne (which is pretty much gone now), I'm still not gonna be even mildly attractive. All that after a joke about how long my beard is getting with someone saying how I'm almost ready for becoming a wizard at 25 (I'm 23), and sadly, not in the sense of looking awesome...

It also made me realize how much my ex hurt me around the time we started dating that she said that my words and personality made up for my looks with her saying I'm not attractive in the slightest (and she still went out with me for almost a year, so who knows whats going on with her...). If shes the only one with the gall to say that, who knows what others thought of me...

Best part about that is, she's taken recently into saying how she's not ok with her appearance and how she thinks that I'm flaunting my progress with the gym/diet I'm on. I told her about myself still having a hard time looking at mirrors in the gym because my stomach barely went down, and that she's not the only one who's not ok with how they look.

Only redeeming thing is my friends are finally getting together to discuss moving out and getting a place together in the summer. I know a change of atmosphere will do WONDERS for me, but it means I don't get any more personal training unless I miraculously get more hours (and no Gyms in the area where I'll be moving to...)

Last bit of this is my classwork is making me want to flip a table because nothing works and I have no idea why...

[Reelya]

If she's putting down your appearance that might well only be because she's insecure about her own. Notice how she's not ok with the progress you've made with fitness, that suggests she might not be 100% genuine with related put-downs.

I would not agree with "who knows what others thought of me" because you are in fact far more likely to get hot air like this from an ex-girlfriend than anyone else you'll ever encounter. It's just a thing with ex's, try not to let it bother you, and try not to retaliate in kind. Whatever others in fact think of you is going to have less extreme swings than an ex-girlfriend does.

Being ex's does weird things to some people, perhaps to do with cognitive biases. e.g. cognitive dissonance and the "just world" fallacy could both be factors at play. e.g. if someone broke up with you, and they want (subconsciously) to suppress feelings of guilt for doing so, they might lower their value of you as a person to justify it - this would be in line with research on behavior related to the "just world fallacy". To make people feel better in themselves, they tend to distort their opinion of other people and events, to make their own actions seem more reasonable and fair. Even about little, unimportant things. So you could pretty much bet that after a relationship break-up, a highly emotionally charged event, these sorts of cognitive distortions are going to be much more likely to occur.

The takeaway is that inexplicable negativity from an ex after a breakup is almost never about you or anything you did, it's about them.

EDIT: however in these situations, where an ex (whether male or female) is putting you down to justify a break-up by rationalizing that you're "worthless" or "don't deserve them" (which are giveaways for the "just world" cognitive distortion) you being perfectly nice and reasonable could in fan infuriate that person. The reason is that they're trying to devalue you, to reduce the cognitive dissonance for dumping you or whatever else they did that they feel guilt about. If you retaliate with your own harsh words, that makes it easier for them to justify their lowered opinion of you. However, if you fail to take the bait, then their cognitive dissonance increases. This could also be something that's happening if and when your ex who clearly doesn't want you back gets pissed if you get attention from another person: it's the same deal, you getting a new flame causes more cognitive dissonance, because it conflicts with their "you're unattractive and unlovable" put-downs to self-justify why they're not with you anymore. Because - just think about this: if all the problems are because you were "worthless and unlovable" then that precludes them from having to consider the fact that they might be "worthless and unlovable". If you're getting those words from an ex, it's because they're scared that those things might be true of themself, so they're projecting those negative qualities onto you instead.

[highmax28]

I think I should've clarified better

This was before we really had interest in each other. When I brought it up to her about it when we started dating due to her asking about things she's said that weren't nice or just rude (she's said quite a few things I bottled up because when she said them, she was having mood swings), she moreso apologized for hurting me, not really taking back he statement.

But I get what you mean. She's already said things to clearly push me away, despite us being in the same group of friends and trying to be civil with one another. Things such as she never wants to marry, things like that.

I kind of figured she wasn't in for the long haul due to her saying things while we were dating like "I want to look good for other guys because that's all they see in me" and such. That one stung more than any of them, and she sort of saved it by saying I was included in there.

In hindsight, it wasn't a good relationship. I put as much into it as I possibly could and she wouldn't really put much effort into it. Her logic for breaking up was involving arguments between couples from a comedian who wasn't even being serious about it because I asked her how her day was and she snapped, which lead to me getting angry and asking her what she expected me to say to her anymore since she keeps getting upset at every topic I bring up (her favorite video games, D&D, school, work, etc). What's most embarrassing was I was in a depressive mourning over her from July until New Years (I fell hard for her despite it all), only for me to lose all interest after the rose tinted glasses came off and I saw how she really is...

I know her problems are the same as mine were prior to rehab, and she's said she's wanted to get help for that, but she got offended when I reccomended places to her, so I can't really feel pity when she refuses help but wants it... My only hope for her is she does suck it up and seeks some counselling. A friend asked me if she did that and did a complete rework of her life, if I would take her back. At the time, I said yes. Now? I don't think so.

I still care about her, but it's moreso because she's still a friend and part of my group.

EDIT:
Should also mention that one thing that also kind of scarred me is she brought up the fact I'm still a virgin, while we were dating, and proceeded to make a really mean joke about it, and when I brought that up (as she said I should when she says things that hurt) she berated me about it and didn't apologize. Didn't help my fear of women any... And this is a reason why I wish I could've been bi or gay, but sadly, whatever powers of the universe there are decided I will only like women

[MrRoboto75]

I hate my job but no one will let me just quit it nor would my resume allow me anything better anytime soon.  Its a fucking dead end where my worthless college grad ass works alongside high schoolers for nothing but pennies and abuse from boss and customer alike.

I am just done with having literally no one there listen to me.  Customers don't listen, my FIVE bosses don't listen, my coworkers don't listen.  Every fucking word uttered from my mouth needs to be repeated four times just to get something across anymore.  I can't communicate with anyone anymore, nor do I even feel like there's a point in even trying anymore.  Not to mention literally everything wrong in that stupid store is somehow my fault even when it isn't.  And there's multiple things going on every day.

I'd dearly perfer just not waking up tomorrow at all instead of setting another foot into what is practically my own personal slice of hell.  It would honestly be a vast improvement.

[LordBaal]

Snip

I'm sorry for how you feel pal. I've been in similar spots (on how you feel) when I was younger and it sucks, a lot. All I could say is that if you can, try to put distance between you and toxic people that might try to bring you down.

On the other hand, and trust me on this please. Sex is way overrated, and you don't need to be either ashamed nor scarred for that. More often than not people that brag about sex are the most inexperienced. Take it easy, don't despair. I'm sure you'll find someone sooner or latter and don't feel pressured to have sex simply because you have 23, or 25 or even 30. It's not something to panic about and not that big deal.

[MrRoboto75]

I can't.  They literally surround me.  In spite of complaints literally every single day of how I do the work they assign me, I end up doing it again and again.  So I'm forced to deal with idiotic customers and their same five stupid questions and their same laundry list of complaints.  And I'm forced to repeat myself at least four times because they never listen.  Oh, and the list of questions I am required to interrogate out of each and every customer, just so my boss can have better numbers.  I get to repeat those four times too if I even bother to mention them at all.  At this point I don't even work hard, as all that gives me is more work, and then I get more work anyway.

Meanwhile they'll give me 40 hour weeks up until I point out they should be giving me benefits, then all of the sudden 8 hours disappear quietly.