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[Hanslanda]

Oh no, I am absolutely the same. I just want like 24 hours. Anymore and I'd degenerate into a horrible, messy goblin.

[Yoink]

I think I'm boring.

I mean, my personality isn't boring, I don't think. I can be quite charismatic and funny at times, and I like to think my general topics of thought are entertainingly offbeat and deranged.
But to communicate any of these thoughts and feelings to people? To put them into words? To cut those down into chunks small enough to cram through the cracks in the social anxiety barrier that walls my mind off from the outside?
By the time all that is done, I'm left sounding boring as fuck. When I bump into people I know all I usually manage to come up with is an enthusiastic "hey, how's it going?" or a "pretty good, and yourself?" and very little to actually spark a conversation of any depth.

This is probably why I'm so bad at making/keeping friends... I'm not shy, just boring.
I'm always pretty grateful when people actually make the effort to draw me into a conversation, because I am sure as heck not likely to. Even lately, with my noticeably lessened anxiety, it's still hard.


...Eh, I'm getting better at least. Every day is a new opportunity for improvement, both in actions and in outlook.
And when actions and outlook aren't enough, there is always inspiration of a more recreational kind to bridge the gap - although those artificial, forced kinds of social interaction always make the usual, sober kind seem even more lacklustre than they usually do.

I need to re-capture the art of enjoying oneself whilst sober. I feel like I got pretty great at that for a while, earlier in the year. Dang.

[SalmonGod]

No offense guys but I have fantasies of a weekend with no people and just quiet Hanstime and crappy cheap food. Love my wife and son but six straight hours of sleep and mindless electronic entertainment is my current 'naked supermodel serving me bacon and sex' fantasy.

Same here.  Give me a weekend with no family and no urgent work to attend to.

I think I'm boring. 

Also same.  But for different reasons.  There's very little in my life to talk with people about except work and family.  And I try to avoid the subject of family, because that inevitably leads back around to discussion of how fucked up my marriage is.  I can talk about my opinions on various things... but have very little common interest to speak of with most people where I live.  The culture in Indiana for most people can be summed up as Sports+Drinking+Reality TV.  Even music is a disconnect.  Probably 90% of the people here listen to nothing but country, rap, and pop.  Politically, this state is Trump territory.  Trying to interact with people just makes me feel like an alien.  So I end up mostly keeping to myself and losing myself more and more to work and becoming an increasingly boring person.

[Rose]

I have a really hard time sticking with anything I'm trying to do for any length of time.

I can never finish anything.

[nogoodnames]

I have a really hard time sticking with anything I'm trying to do for any length of time.

I can never finish anything.

Maybe you can relate to this?

[Rose]

I have a really hard time sticking with anything I'm trying to do for any length of time.

I can never finish anything.

Maybe you can relate to this?

Yes, so much.

I simultaneously want to make a fully 3d view of DF, and do artwork, and make a pipe organ from esoteric materials, make a cool VR game, baking, etc...

[SalmonGod]

I've found limiting myself to be one of the hardest parts of being an adult.  You have to pick a narrow set of things, and stick to them.  It's fucking painful.  But the alternative is to try to do everything, and fail at all of it.

Knowing this, I still suck at letting go of non-essential things I want to do, and often sacrifice sleep for it.

[Spehss _]

Went to the gym today. There's a cute girl I see there regularly. Today we both got to the gym at the same time, we basically walked into the door one after another.

I didn't hold the door open for her. I've been kicking myself all morning over it. Rude. She probably thinks I'm an asshole. Damn my social autism.

[TD1]

I really doubt she thought anything about it. Or if she did, it was a temporary disgruntlement, which is how I would react.

Sounds like you're over thinking it.

[TheBiggerFish]

@Spehss_:Dude you don't need to worry about that, she most likely didn't even notice; just remember for next time.


In other news apparently I can't stand being around happy people now.  That's...not good.  Not good at all...

[JoshuaFH]

It's ok TBF, you can always be sad here with us in the Sad Thread, home to eternal sadsacks everywhere.

[MoonyTheHuman]

Eternally sad. E t e r n a l l y s a d .
sobs

[Gentlefish]

Went to the gym today. There's a cute girl I see there regularly. Today we both got to the gym at the same time, we basically walked into the door one after another.

I didn't hold the door open for her. I've been kicking myself all morning over it. Rude. She probably thinks I'm an asshole. Damn my social autism.

I wouldn't call it autism if you're aware of it without having it pointed out to you. Though I slept like three hours last night and I dunno if you're just putting yourself down.

But like TBF said, she very likely probably didn't notice at all.

[Yoink]

Ugggh I couldn't sleep last night. Heat, discomfort and a mild-yet-prolonged asthma attack all conspired to keep me awake.
I had to get up very early this morning anyway, and even if I'd slept just fine I would have only had time for a bit under five hours... as it is I can't have gotten more than one or two, tops. Don't think I can go to work today. Wouldn't be able to get shit done, it'd waste everyone's time. Fortunately, the days that I work per week are somewhat flexible, but it just feels weird to be awake at the usual time of morning I go to work, but not going. I think I'm making the right call, but ugh.

Also my phone is in for repairs and I haven't picked up a temporary alternative yet. I should probably do that today, and call my manager ASAP. Fortunately I'm not exactly an indispensable part of the organization or anything, but for some reason I still like to do as good a job as possible, hence my not wanting to stagger in there today and shuffle around half asleep.
Another annoying thing is that I made my lunch last night before bed... I guess it'll have to sit in the fridge another day. Hopefully not too many chemicals leach out of the alfoil (we were out of cling wrap) and into my sandwiches in that time. D:   


Edit: Yeah, the lack of phone is the worst part. Otherwise, I could just call my boss, explain the situation and how useless I'm feeling, and either receive some affirmation on my chosen course of action or the okay to go in despite my exhaustion, as well as pre-emptory forgiveness for inevitably working less efficiently than usual.
I'm still fairly convinced I'm doing the right thing, though. Crap, I should probably just rush down the street and get a $15 phone.

[Rolan7]

Spending every other day with family/friends/other half of family is still only seeing everyone once a week.  And even that's completely unsustainable.  Despite overlapping my freelance work with my anxiety-reclusion...  Which doesn't always work at all.

But sometimes, when I blow family off despite specifically moving back near them, I really enjoy my new home!  Hey, maybe it's their fault for splitting up
Gotta get a stable job so I can better justify abjuring them...  I can do visits, except they always last all godsdamn day.  Because I don't have a "real" job, ha.