I have no idea how to even begin putting this into words. Well, I do actually. I just don't like my words. They make it sound like I might have a problem. Which can't happen. Because I'm the calm perfect one. I can't have issues or worries; I have to keep this family together. Even if that means getting yelled at. And cheated. And lied to. It has to stay together. Right? This is normal.
Anyway. Forget that. That's just a thing I deal with. I'm really confused with girls and just people in general. For example; my girlfriend claims to have
Dissociative Identity Disorder, or DID for short. Not too unrealistic; it's a real thing (I think), at least she's not making shit up. Unless what she claims to have gone through is a lie....then it's unrealistic. I think. Anyway she claims to have been hit in the head with a ladder recently and lost some of her memory....even though she seems to have forgotten about that and gone back to being herself. She claimed her older brother who had raped her for nearly....6 years was allowed to move back in with her and started doing it again. I'm also told by a good friend of her mother's that this stuff is largely lies and that it didn't happen....and I feel like I'm being cheated and lied to. Again.
I have no idea where I'm going with this honestly. Anyway. Friends are confusing. Many of them choose to ignore me or are more and more angry at me recently. Maybe I'm being an asshole. Yeah, that has to be it. One of my friends is (kind of? Maybe?) acting flirty with me again. This has happened before and nothing came of it. She's also acting flirty with someone I know she's liked in the past (sadly this person is straight, so she's sol). I feel like shit for being happy that this person is straight, because that means I have a tiny tiny tiny chance. And before I'm told to break up with my gf, I told her aaaaaall about this before I let her say yes. It's honestly me wanting to make her happy more than anything, which I'm fine with. I love seeing the smile on her face when I talk to her.