I know that latter feeling, i still haven't gotten my one year break from existence that i sometimes desire. :I
also hello time for another blurb out of nowhere
So i'm very tired right now, which is probably making me feel more shitty than i normally would, but i kinda need to get this off my chest. The fact that i suffer from abnormal anxiety (as in more than what's considered healthy) is no secret, but i frequently understate how much it actually bothers me. It's not just anxiety about drawing, even though that's what's pestering me right now. Travelling anxiety, doing-new-things anxiety, overperforming anxiety(!??!?), social anxiety which includes things like starting conversations, speaking about close subjects, communicating through a (partial) lingual barrier (this one also puts me at risk of looking like an asshole for not talking as much with certain people) and MORE. I sometimes feel like a goddamn waste of space for not handling it as well as i could, and for effectively having a saving throw involved in so many things that most people can just do without second thought. Asking someone what time it is is something i need to consciously evaluate before deciding to do (or not do), weighing the anxiety against how much i need to know the time. Starting a conversation with a friend is the same thing. Starting a conversation with someone i know less well is even worse.
I would have written more, but now tiredness is becoming too overwhelming, so you'll have to imagine the 1-2 paragraphs that might have followed, while i go sleep and hopefully stop feeling like shit for something that i can't really help.
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Topic: Things that made you sad today thread. (Read 9779385 times)